4A the university daily kansan opinion EDITORIAL BOARD friday, february 13,2004 PERSPECTIVE Life is valuable; lesson priceless Four years ago, I thought life wasn't worth living. Nearly 19 million American adults face a depressive illness each, and it is estimated that a staggered 14 percent of all college students experience the disabling symptoms of depression. I was one of the 14 percent. COMMENTARY Jonathan Reeder opinion@kansan.com My depression began soon after the death of my grandparents. I had lived with them since I was 1 year old. During my second year of college. I felt common initial symptoms of depression: a lack of concentration and low energy. I noticed the lack of concentration first. It would sometimes take hours to read a short chapter in a book. I also didn't understand my lack of energy. Even though I slept more, getting out of bed was a constant battle. I missed a lot of classes in the first six months, and even when I was there I couldn't concentrate. It was more than normal fidgeting. I couldn't bring myself to care. My class performance reflected my poor attendance. My grades suffered, which fueled the depression. I became more irritable and morose. Such cycles are common with depression. My friends and family noticed the change and urged me to do something. Reluctantly, I sought help. I called the KU Psychological Clinic located in Fraser Hall. Admitting that I needed help was difficult, especially with the social stigma still associated with mental diseases. (Which is finally starting to fade.) If my story seems similar to something you are experiencing, seek help. Visit a medical doctor if nothing else. The doctor can rule out other physical causes for the symptoms and make a referral to a mental health professional if necessary. The symptoms need to persist for two weeks or more to be diagnosed as depression. Lawrence has a number of options available to treat depression, as well as other psycho- chological problems The KU clinic is particularly enticing because the first session, where the therapist and patient can decide whether they will work well FOR MORE HELP: KU Psychological Clinic 864-4121 Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) 864-2277 with each other, is free for everyone. After the initial visit, the fee for students is $8 per 50-minute session. The clinic is a teaching institution, part of the psychology department. The therapists are doctoral students in clinical psychology in their second year. In addition, they are supervised by doctors. The major drawback to the clinic is that therapists cannot prescribe medications. Don't let that be a deciding factor. Recent research suggests that therapy alone is usually as effective as antidepressant medications for most forms of depression. In addition, the psychiatrists at Counseling and Psychological Services in Watkins Memorial Health Center can write prescriptions and monitor their effect. My sophomore year and part of my junior year were lost because of depression. I will never get those years back. If you believe you have a problem, seek help. I'm glad I did. Jonathan Reeder is an Iola senior in journalism TALK TO US The Kansan welcomes letters to the editor and guest columns submitted by students, faculty and alumni. For any questions, call Meghan Brune or Johanna M. Maska at 864-4924 or email opinion@kansan.com. Free for All Free for All callers have 20 seconds to speak about any topic they wish. Kansan editors reserve the right to omit comments. Slanderous and obscene statements will not be printed. Phone numbers of all incoming calls are recorded. Call 864-0500 For more comments, go to www.kansan.com You can take a girl out of Kansas City, but no matter where she is she still has daddy's credit card and a bad attitude. When I have a day off like today, I like to unwind and direct some porn. the average American male is planning to spend $125.96 on Valentine's Day, while women will spend about $38. Where do all of these too! sheds come from that sit in the dorm on the weekends and play video games all night? Why doesn't everybody at KU have a North Face fleece? Didn't everybody get that memo? I would just like to say to whoever turned my wallet in with the money still in it: You are a good person and you will have a special seat in heaven. the average American male is planning to spend $125.96 on Valentine's Day, while women will spend about $38. Help. My car just drove into a pot hole and it can't get out. the average American male is planning to spend $125.96 on Valentine's Day, while women will spend about $38. I have learned that you can't make a person love you. You can only stop them and make them panic and give in. The O.C. is the best television show ever. On Playboy's list of the top 25 party schools we are number nine. I say that we step it up and make it number one. What do you say people? the average American male is planning to spend $125.96 on Valentine's Day, while women will spend about $38. To Jenny who lives in Ellsworth: Will you be my valentine? the average American male is planning to spend $125.96 on Valentine's Day, while women will spend about $38. I am a Starbuck's scholar and proud of it. the average American male is planning to spend $125.96 on Valentine's Day, while women will spend about $38. Zach Newton for The University Daily Kansan Valentine's Day a scam Men, and women for that matter, get ready to empty your wallets. Valentine's Day is right around the corner. According to the National Retail Foundation, Valentine's Day has become a corporate scam. Do yourself a favor: Don't buy a love. Love is not defined by flowers. OUR VIEW Valentine's Day is officially a corporate and commercialized holiday. The pressure is being felt by men to impress their sweethearts more than ever. According to the foundation's survey, 65 percent of men plan to buy flowers and more than 21 percent plan to buy jewelry. Maybe it's just young love, but the survey also found age makes a difference. While the 18-34 year-old category will shell out about $140 dollars this Saturday, men 35-54 will spend $60 dollars, and men 55 and older will spend about $50. This "holiday" has lost its true meaning. There are varying opinions of how it started, but the most popular is the legend of St. Valentine. According to history, he was a jailed Roman martyr, who fought for Christianity. He died Feb. 14, 269 A.D., while in jail. Legend said he had left a note right before he died for the jailer's daughter, whom he had befriended. He ended it with, "From your Valentine." Over the years, Feb. 14 became a common day for celebration of love by sending messages and flowers to loved ones. St. Valentine became the patron saint of lovers. But America has secularized the holiday by dropping the saint, and turning it into a celebration of money for corporate America. There is nothing wrong with having a day to celebrate love between two people. But when it turns into how much money a man can spend on his girl, something has gone wrong. This year,try staying in on Valentine's Day and just hang out with your partner. You can have just as much fun for a lot less money. MUSIC OF MY MIND Once 'cafeteria casanova,' now a romantic: Remember love is larger than Motown image COMMENTARY "I'm cuddled by her hands because she understands/It's that bond that will keep the movement movin' on/it's that bond that will keep the movement movin' on..." - Speech (of Arrested Development), "Ease My Mind" from the 1994 album, Zingaladamuni When I was little, I used to think that Motown invented love. There were two constants in my household as a kid — one was that good feeling that came when I was in the company of my parents and sister, and the other was the feeling that came when I was in the vinyl presence of the Jackson 5, The Supremes, Stevie Wonder or Martha Reeves. Cornelius Minor opinion@kansan.com I remember when I was in primary school; I met a girl who exemplified all the soulful characteristics described by the Temptations in My Girl. I went home and told my mother that I loved her. In return, my mother asked me if I was crazy. I remember my first girlfriend from years later. By the time I met her, I had experienced enough "old school" R&B to know how to treat a woman, and I While I think that love does involve a little craziness, growing up as the son of a southern preacher, one would think that I would have connected the concept to something a bit larger than Motown. I certainly do now. "It's funny to think that the cat I am now has a little bit of that cafeteria casanova still in him." had experienced enough of (what was then) the new school — Jodeci, New Edition, Bell Biv DeVoe — to know how to beg a woman properly. I was a quick study, so though my only income was my weekly lunch money, I spent every dime that I had on her. She wore my Chicago Bulls Starter jacket and everything. On our one-week anniversary, I strolled over to her lunch table and bought her one of those after-lunch ice cream treats that you could buy in the corner of the cafeteria. In those days, it honestly didn't get smoother than Cornelius. That not withstanding, I can also recall being extraordinarily disappointed that she did not return my favors and gifts. We broke up shortly thereafter, and though we did, I have long since regarded her as my first love. She came by my office last year while she was on business in Kansas City, and a part of me still felt the tenderness of eighth grade disappointment. One would think that with all my middle school sophistication, I would have associated love with more than just material objects. I certainly do now. There is no girlfriend around this year, though the guy in me hates to admit that I get sensitive about that stuff. Perhaps that's why I've been reflecting on the feelings of loves past — those that I have enjoyed, been distanced from, lost and even squandered away. During that reflection, I've been thinking particularly about the things that sustained those relationships — the shared secrets, friends or common interests in arts, culture and pastime. Some people would argue that such things couldn't have been love. After all, Ralph Tresvant lyrics and Cross Colors jumpsuits don't quite do it for me anymore. What's strange is that, in many ways, those memories do. I'm sitting here laughing to myself as I think about all the things that I used to do for and in the name of love. There is little regret in that laughter. It teams with the warmth of all those strange and awkward moments. And I realize that those are the moments that have defined me. It's funny to think that the cat I am now has a little bit of that cafeteria casanova still in him. But I don't think it begins there. The girls, now women, that I have loved are only the most recent plot elements in my narrative. The grandmothers, neighbors, friends and mentors who have nurtured, inspired and encouraged have been loved before them. Love is those revolutionary people that made our yesterdays exciting, fun, didactic, but above all, livable. Countless have done it for me. I suspect that the same is true for many of us. As we get down to the business of loving this weekend, let's not forget to thank the folks who did it before Motown invented it. One would think that I would have stopped to think about them before. I'm certainly thinking about them now. Minor is an Atlanta graduate student in American studies. He co-hosts the program Voice Activated, which airs on KJHK Thursday at 7 p.m. See Minor's column Music of my Mind, every Friday KANSAN Michelle Rombeck editor 864-4854 or mburhnn@kansan.com Andrew Vaupel managing editor 864-4854 or vaupel@kansan.com Meghan Brune and Johanna M. Maska opinion editors 864-4924 or opinion@kansan.com Danielle Bose business manager 864-4358 or adddirector@tansan.com Stephanie Graham retail sales manager 864-4358 or adsales.kansan.com Matt Fisher sales and marketing adviser 864-7668 or mfisher@kansan.com Malcolm Gibson general manager and news adviser 864-7687 or mgibson@kansan.com 4 Editorial Board Members **External Board Members** Kendall Dix **Amanda Flaunt** *Uynzee Ford* Laura Francovigliac **Anna Gregory** Amy Hammontree **Kelly Holloway** *Teresa L* Stephanie Loveitt *Minyan Bala* Greg Holmquist *Ryan Scarwain* *Sara Behunek Kevin Flaherty* *Brandon Gay* *Zack Hemenway Alex Hoffman* *Kevin Kampwirth* Amy Kelly *Cameron Koelling* *Courtney Kuhlen* *Brandi Mathiesen* *Travis Metcalf* Mike Norris *Jonathan Reeder* *Erin Riffey* F Horns Karl Huber Emmi Linn Alea Smith Karl Zimmermann