thursday, february 5.2004
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a legacy in the closet
the university daily kansan
7A
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ceived notions about the world.
Thomas said he was a counter point to those blases, "but if you bring it up too early, you'll miss an opportunity to change their minds." That was more important to him than being able to shout his sexuality from the rooftops.
Gay greek members want to be an asset to their chapter, Windmeyer said. But he doesn't think staying quiet is the way to do it. Silence hurts chapters and straight members, as well as the people who are excluded. Windmeyer paints a Star Wars-esque scenario where fear leads to hate and hate leads to suffering.
Public support for gay and lesbian members is often the first casualty in the fight for a "clean" reputation. Even the biggest allies clam up. Silence tends to be the status quo at the University of Kansas. Kappa Kappa Gamma President Julia Guinan blames that tendency on fear.
"People don't want to be labeled either way," the Wichita senior said. "They don't want to be seen as supporting something like that because people might think they themselves are gay and they don't want to be seen as being against it because that would make them look like an ass."
Windmeyer said that attitude hurt greeks because it sheltered them from the real world. Greek organizations are a training ground for leaders, but how effective is a leader who doesn't have any experience with diversity? Fraternities and sororites can't ignore these issues, he said. Not if they expect their alumni to thrive off-campus.
The more a chapter's members are concerned with reputation, the more likely they are to not accept queer members and to expect members who come out to keep quiet.
Greek members say sororites are more concerned with reputation than fraternities. It's harder to find lesbian sorority women than it is to find gay fraternity men. At the University, these women exist mostly in myth. Someone was in a class with one, but doesn't know her name or chapter. Someone met one at a party once. Another
person heard about one from a friend of a friend.
Thomas knows that at least one lesbian sorority sister does exist; she's a friend who came out to him after they'd left the University. But she didn't want to talk about her experiences, and Thomas said her sorority would never have allowed her to come out while she was in school.
Windmeyer and Case both said fraternities were, in general, more accepting than sororities, but that neither was a perfect environment. Seventy percent of the respondents to Case's survey reported encountering homophobic and heterocentrist attitudes, actions and stereotypes.
Strikingly, 85 percent also reported enjoying greek life.
Case attributes this discrepancy to the nature of the negative experiences. In Out on Fraternity Row, Shane Windmeyer anthology of essays on gay greek life, one man described the way his fraternity brothers talked about gay people. "My ears became attuned to the references... not once did I hear a positive one. The word 'fag' came up as a derogatory term in every other sentence with certain brothers." he wrote.
Most people in Case's survey described situations like this. They heard gay jokes, heard criticism of homosexuality and saw discrimination of recruits based on perceived sexuality.
The key, Case said, was that few of these actions were directed at the respondents.
The same men who threw around identity as an insult overwhelmingly supported their fellow member when he told them he was one of "those fags." He had already been accepted as an individual and a member of their chapter. They attacked the faceless stereotype, but they accepted the brother.
Case's survey is nearly 10 years old, and he said perceptions had changed. The Greek system, he says, is a mirror of cultural change rather than a harbinger. Since the 1980s, there has been a cultural shift toward acceptance of gay, lesbian and bisexual people. Greek life today reflects that.
paper published a story that quoted the president of the university's chapter of Sigma Phi Epsilon on what he thought of gay members: "Ew, that's disgusting."
In the early '80s at Loyola University, New Orleans, the school
In 1998, members of that same chapter talked the Sigma Phi Epsilon national senate into adopting a non-discrimination clause that included sexuality.
Shane Windmeyer's Web site, www.Lambda10.org, lists 19 fraternities that include sexual orientation in their anti-discrimination clauses, and one sorority, Delta Delta Delta, which adopted the clause in 2002. Not all Greek organizations have done this, but Case attributes that mostly to oversight. The subject just hasn't been brought up by anyone in the organizations.
When a member suggests the clause should be amended, it almost always is, often without a fight. That person becomes a pole that attracts other members. Case said people understood discrimination against queer members was wrong, but didn't feel comfortable saying so until someone else did. He said he thought acceptance was increasing because society was changing and making it more acceptable for people to stand up.
Windmeyer, on the other hand, is waiting for the backlash. He expects society, and the Greek system, to become less accepting of gays and lesbians in response to court decisions favoring the expansion of queer rights. The backlash won't last forever, he said, but it's something that happened to the civil-rights movement after decisions such as Brown vs. Board of Education. Ouer greets need to be prepared.
And Thomas? He isn't sure open acceptance will ever happen, at least in Kansas. But he knows his presence made a difference and changed some minds.
"They saw I was interested in the things they were," he said. "They saw I wasn't girly or pansy like they might have thought. Basically, they saw I was just like them, but interested in someone different."
Thomas is proud of that.
The KU greek system is accepting of queer members. That's why Shane Windmeyer was surprised at the dismal turnout when he spoke here three years ago. Queers and Allies and other non-greek students came, but Windmeyer found only three Greeks in the audience.
Allies in the closet at KU
One of the three, Thomas Franklin, wasn't surprised at all His fraternity accepted his sexuality. He knew the majority of people in Greek system did too, but he also knew better than to expect them to publicly demonstrate it.
"KU is a very subversively supportive university," he said. "They're cool as long as it doesn't blatantly point them out as a supporter. They don't want to be labeled as part of that group. Even if they're totally supportive, they don't want to be labeled."
Few greek chapters at The University of Kansas would comment on gay and lesbian membership. Angie Carr, coordinator for Fraternity and Sorority Life, said there was a general reluctance to talk about anything that could reflect badly on the groups. Those who were willing to talk said the subject wasn't discussed within the Greek community either.
Edited by Ehren Meditz
Carr said she didn't think that was a problem. There isn't discussion because there isn't a need, she said. Everyone is already accepting. Some fraternity and sorority members agreed with her, but more said they wished some kind of education was available. If chapters talked about the issue, they could establish protocol for if a member came out and could create an environment where queer members would feel comfortable, said Amber Sellers, Wichita senior and Sigma Gamma Rho president.
Windmeyer said silence hurt the Greek system."Fraternities and sororites are suffering because they have a reputation
of being rich and white and bigoted and a lot of people don't want to be a part of that," he said. He said this stereotype contributed to a decade-long drop in membership that is only beginning to rebound. During that time, multicultural Greek organizations, including ones for gay, bisexual and progressive men, added chapters all across the country.
KU is a very subversively supportive university. They're cool as long as it doesn't blatantly point them out as a supporter."
Thomas Franklin
Former KU students
A lack of education also helps entrench ignorance of queer relationships and people, he said. This is different from homophobia, because people often don't realize what they're saying is hurtful.
Sarah Colteryahn is straight, but when a lesbian friend didn't get into Zeta Tau Alpha and she did, the Stillwell senior took her friend to a dance so she could meet other members and maybe get another shot at joining. At the next meeting, Zeta alumni told the chapter that dances were for dates, not girlfriends. When she confronted them afterward, the alumni seemed surprised; it hadn't occurred to them to consider how the statement might hurt a queer member.
At Cornell University in Ithaca, N.Y., gay greek students and straight allies formed Greeks United Against Homophobia, a group that supports education. With members of Greeks United, the university's Panhellenic and Interfraternity
Council organizations have organized information sessions during the school year. In addition, all new members have to attend the Delta Series, forums and events that cover topics ranging from alcohol use to how queer issues affect greeks.
Kevin Nagel, treasurer of Greeks United, said he'd heard some horror stories, but most people were unconditionally accepted. He came out during recruitment, and so did his boyfriend. They were admitted, together, into Cornell's chapter of Kappa Delta Rho.
Because of education, Cornell's Greek community anticipates the presence of gay men and lesbians. Most chapters at the University of Kansas that commented for this story said they had no queer members. Some of them might be right, but William Clayton doubts they all are. The Kansas City, Mo., sophomore is the president of the University's chapter of Alphi Phi Alpha. He said he couldn't speak for the Interfraternity Council and Panhellenic chapters, but guaranteed there were closeted queer members in every National Panhellenic Council chapter.
The chapters don't think so, he said, but you can either live in fantasyland or be real about it. He said he thought his point of view was the real one, and it fits with Danny Cohn's experience. When Danny came out through a story in The University Daily Kansan, he found himself the secret confidant of a deluge of fraternity men whom no one else knew were gay.
All this throws doubt on the assertion that queer membership isn't an issue, Windmeyer said.
"They don't want to stick their necks out by having an open discussion," he said. "But they're really sticking their heads in the sand, so to speak."
Maggie Koerth