4a --- Opinion Tuesday, March 13, 2001 For comments, contact Chris Borniger or Nathan Willis at 864-4924 or opinion@kansan.com Perspective British TV show fills void created by Screech's exit Remember how much fun it was to come home after a hard day at junior high, sit down on the couch and turn on Saved by the Bell? Until a few months ago, I never imagined that any other TV program could rival its artistic genius. Who could forget those classic plot lines where the good-natured but often misguided actions of youth clash with the staunch and oppressive constraints of modern society? I still get chills when I recall how Zack was brazen enough to have Screech's birthday party in Principal Belding's office, of all places. As you probably know, it's hard to find an episode of the original Saved by the Bell on afternoon television anymore. Sure, you can catch an occasional episode of The College Years or The New Class, but those series just don't do anything for me. In fact, it sickens me to see a fine actor such as Dustin Diamond squander his talent in such meaningless roles. Not being able to watch any quality high school antics on television left me in a serious depression for a while. It got so bad, in fact, that I was almost ready to start watching Dawson's Creek Matt Overstreet columnist opinion@kansan.com Have you ever asked yourself what would happen if you crossed the Spice Girls with a Seinfeld episode and then locked the entire cast in a Winnebago? I certainly hadn't, until I discovered S Club 7. Luckily, in my darkest hour, I turned on the TV and found what I've been waiting for my entire life — the perfect television show. If you're not familiar with the show, the premise is that a band from Great Britain comes to the States with hopes of making it big. Along the way, they meet a variety of wacky characters and find plenty of opportunities to solve problems by singing and dancing. To fully understand the genius of *S Club* 7, imagine the Monkees, then replace Peter Tork, Davey Jones and the rest with four hot teen-age girls. Throw in some eye-catching special effects and some hip 21st century pop-culture references, and you've got perhaps the greatest television series ever. *S Club* 7 truly has everything: humor, drama, skimpy tank-tops and catchy musical numbers that are so simple, they make N 'Sync sound like Radiohead. Like most shows geared for girls aged five to 13, the plots of S Club 7 are rather basic, but occasionally they do address serious social issues. A couple of weeks ago, for example, one of the guys in the band, Bradley, was seriously injured when he was struck by a "manic roller-blading ex-hip-pie" (an actual quote from the Web site). Injuries caused by out-of-control rollerbladers are one of the most serious issues troubling teens today, and I'm glad somebody finally had the guts to address this problem. If you're like me and are intimidated by men with facial hair — have no fear. The three male members of S Club 7 have most certainly been castrated. And unlike other teen-oriented television programs such as Dawson's Creek, you don't need a degree in psychology to understand what the characters on S Club 7 are talking about. Through hours of "research," (most of which involved watching television and downloading pictures of the female members of the band), I have become quite an $ Club 7 expert. And I'm not the only one. The show's brand of hip but easily accessible humor has bred quite an enthusiastic fan base in the States. If you don't believe me, I can show you the scars I incurred in a scuff at the local Hy-Vee. One might imagine it would be easy to wrestle an *S Club 7* action figure away from a pack of 10-year-old girls, but believe me, it isn't. (I got your mom's license plate number, so watch out, you little punks.) If you miss wacky and substance-free teen programming, I suggest you check out $ Club 7. If you dig food fights choreographed to pop music, funny British accents, handsome but unintimidating eunuchs or barely legal teenage girls, I guarantee you won't be disappointed. Overstreet is an Augusta junior in political science. Nate Beeler/TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES By the Numbers Rank of assertiveness among qualities the American Psychological Association cites as most common to great presi- Source: Harper's Index Score showed by Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia at a Washington, D.C. tennis court in 1988 before claiming victory. Number of articles published since 1988 containing the words "George W. Bush" and "aura of inevitability." Perspective The rich must pay more in taxes to help the poor Taxing the rich is good for the economy. Let's run through a simple economics lesson. In our hypothetical world, say there's four people: a rich person with an income of $100, a poor person with an income of $10, a bubble-gum salesman and a government bureaucrat. At this point, the economy is worth $110 Republicans favor sales taxes because they tax people equal dollar amounts. Say a pack of gum costs $5, and there's a 20 percent sales tax on it. The rich person and poor person each buy a pack, adding $10 to the economy. The $1 tax on each pack sends $2 to the bureaucrat, who hands it over to the poor person in the form of a (gasp!) welfare check. That spending, and it is John Audelhelm columnist opinion@ansan.com That spending, and it is spending, adds another $2 to the economy. Subtract the dollar the poor person put in, and the Republican economy is worth $121. Democrats, on the other hand, favor income taxes because they tax people equally. An income tax of 10 percent would take $10 from the rich person and $1 from the poor person. Because the tax is not a significant deterrent, both people still buy $10 worth of gum. That's 7.4 percent more than the Republican one, and with half the tax rate. (What's that about Democrats not understanding basic market principles?) But now, the welfare check is for $11. Subtract the poor person's dollar, and the Democratic economy is worth $130. As has been frequently pointed out by Al Gore and other Democrats, 42.5 percent of Bush's tax cut will go to the wealthiest 1 percent of Americans. Of course, the wealthy pay more actual tax dollars than the poor, so it's Let's shift gears back to the real world and discuss President George W. Bush's tax cut proposal. only fair that they get more tax dollars back. Problem is, the wealthiest 1 percent only pay for 20 percent of the federal government. Republicans have traditionally justified such inequities with the theory of trickle-down economics — free up more money for private spending, thereby helping the economy. We tried it under Reagan. And, despite what his army of historical revisionists says, it didn't work. The '80s only confirmed the pathetically obvious. The rich are rich because they don't spend their money. If they do, they buy nice stuff and services, which don't do much to stimulate the economy. Republicans also justify their tax inequities by saying the rich would give more to charity — if only they could. Ah, yes, the good will and noblesse oblige of capitalists. Moreover, when was the last time you heard a poor person arguing for trickle-down economics? Along those lines, if charitable organizations were able to handle all of society's problems, then why does society have problems? What's stopping the private sector from handling them? I've never heard a rich business owner say, "Oh, boy, I've made just a bit too much money this month. I had better give some away." America needs to face a cold, hard truth: The private sector of a capitalist economy will never take care of the poorest and most needy because there is no monetary incentive to do so. That fact makes it dangerously easy to argue for welfare programs on moral grounds. For too long, Democrats have done just that. That makes it only fair for Republicans to bring up their Christian morals. If Democrats want any credibility in arguing against the Religious Right, then Democrats must argue their points on economic and political grounds, not moral ones. For a demonstration. see above. Audlehelm is a Des Moines, Iowa, senior in political science and journalism. Editorial Artists' rights weigh more than listeners' Despite its popularity and appeal, Napster is difficult to justify legally and ethically. A federal court judge issued an injunction last week that basically means the end of Napster. The online music service created by Shawn Fanning already is beginning to remove copyrighted music from the site. Legally and ethically, it's a step in the right direction. Napster made it possible to download songs by almost any artist for free. Many people loved how, after years of having to buy overpriced compact discs, they finally caught a break in getting music But many in the recording industry weren't too keen on the Napster phenomenon. Record companies got scared that people would get all their music for free and wouldn't buy CDs. Hard rock band Metallica sued Napster, and many users were booted from the service for downloading Metallica songs. Napster is obviously bad for some artists, but it also can be a benefit for others. Smaller bands that don't have record deals can put their music online for people to download. This helps in exposing their music to more people to establish a bigger audience. But for the most part, Napster walked a thin ethical line. People could download songs regardless of whether the artist wanted them to — which takes a bite out of the artist's profits. Legally, the court's decision was a good idea. It should be the artists' choice whether they want their music to be free. Napster has also been a major setback in the fight against bootlegging. Artists have complained for many years about the practice; Napster made it easier to distribute it, all from the comfort of users' homes. But Napster will be sorely missed by millions of people, and rightly so. Music has never been so readily available. And music lovers should cherish that. Marc Ingber for the editorial board Free for all callers have 20 seconds to speak about any topic they wish. The Kanans reserves the right to edit submissions, and not all of them will be published. Slanderous statements will not be printed. For more comments, visit www.kanan.com. How about that men's track team? Eighth place at nationals. - I just want to say that it's really sad that a Big 12 school can't afford to support the same sports that any half-decent high school has. This is serious. I'm getting really freaked that the two hands from the butter commercial are going to have a baby. I mean, what is this world coming to? - I wonder if Dick Vitale would quit ESPN if they didn't allow him to talk about Duke anymore. I bet if you were a KU football player and had three hours of practice a day and cut in front of someone at Mrs. E's, you wouldn't really care either, would you? 图 Sometimes it is a moment of silence after a joke that makes it funny. Thank you to the KU student who flipped me off on K-10 Saturday evening. Here's a suggestion for future reference. Drive on right, pass on left and keep obscene gestures to yourself. I was just wondering what the test would be if you wanted to know if someone was working at Bada Bing's. Is it a coincidence that the only time that GSP-Corbin residence halls have a fire alarm is during male visitation hours? I don't think so. - - KU basketball — out in the second round. This is to Draw Gooden and Kenny Gregory. I waited on you guys last night at Outback, and I just wanted you guys to know that you guys are quite possibly the nicest guys I've ever waited on. You guys have pretty decent attitudes for guys who are pretty much celebrities on campus. Thank you very much. 题 I wish I knew my ex was this much of a dork before I started dating him. I just took a breathilizer test, and the copp threw the little plastic part in the grass. Isn't that called littering? Mailboxes Etc. needs to get with it on the Biology 100 notes. I've been waiting for over a week. - How can girl scouts go door to door selling cookies? Doesn't that violate some child labor law? Is it just me, or is there no women's bracket in the UDK? That's really crapy. 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