JAYPLAY
entertainment news
February 8,2001
For comments, contact Erinn R. Barcomb at 864-4810 or email jayplay@kansan.com www.kansan.com/arts
Englewood Florist, 1101 Massachusetts St., offers the traditional variety of Valentine's Day flowers. The most common selection of a dozen roses can cost up to $75 at this time of year. Susan Engle, pictured on the left, said that students have other Valentine's Day options besides roses that could fit their budgets. Photo illustration by Nick Krug/KANSAN
Ways to spend Valentine's Day By Meghan Bainum & Erinn R. Barcomb Jayplay writers
Students planning to celebrate Valentine's Day have less than a week to figure out what to do, whether it's spending the evening with a significant other or celebrating singlehood with a night on the town with friends.
Either way, celebrating the holiday can confuse and befuddle the average lover. Jayplay offers the following suggestions for celebrating the love of a lifetime — or at least making time pass quickly with whoever you're stuck with next Wednesday.
The couple with money to burn:
Money's no object to you. Your sweetie — and credit card company — will love the effort you'll go to just to make the night special, or at least
For the amorous couple, kinky sex toys and clothing such as fuzzy handcuffs, motion lotion, knee-high patent leather boots or edible underwear could make Valentine's day one to remember. Photo by Nick Krug /KANSAN
expensive. Because your budget is pretty much unlimited, pull all the stops for a traditional romantic evening.
To eat: Dinner for two at Shaylar's, the KC Strip, of course. ($44, without tip)
To drink: 1988 Dom Peringon Rosé, savoring every sip. ($250)
Flowers: A dozen red roses. ($75)
**To give:** 1-carat heart-shaped diamond solitaire. ($8,000)
**To do:** You'll be so busy flashing your triple-digit bill you won't have time to do anything else.
Listen to: The Best of Frank Sinatra, a swinger much like yourself ($15)
The nature-lovers:
Boxes of chocolates? Too much excess packaging. Valentines? Only if they're soy ink on recycled paper. The conventional Valentine's Day is too earth-unfriendly.
Total: About $6,384. You'll be VISA's, Mastercard's and American Express's favorite customers — until you realize there no way you can make the minimum payment.
Share your love for nature — and each other — by bypassing the traditions and embracing a unique, outdoory experience.
To eat: Plincic for two (probably indoors at this time of year) of organic pasta with mushroom flavor and white truffle and organic lemon tomato sauce. ($8)
■ To drink: Fantasia Tropical Tango smoothie:
($3)
Flowers: You'd rather see flowers in the ground than in a vase. How about a trip to Powell Gardens, botanical gardens in Kansas City, MO.
**To give:** Deluxe Tinker Swiss Army Knife. ($45)
**To do:** Watch the eagles nest near the river and walk around the Baker Wetlands. Depending on Wednesday's weather, you might have to take a rain check (free).
Listen to: Pure Moods: Vol. 3. ($15)
Total: About $10. With all the money you saved on a nontraditional Valentine's Day you can make donations to your favorite causes, just as long as both of you can agree on one.
The punk/goth/metalhead couple
The only teddy bears you like are the multi-colored psychedelic ones on that Grateful Dead shirt in your closet. You don't like much of anything soft or frilly, so why should Valentine's Day be that way? Just think of the couple dining to the sounds of death metal in that Magnavox commercial.
*To eat: Smoke clove cigarettes ($4) and coffee — black. ($2)
**Flowers:** Yeah, right. How about Virgin/Slut bubble bath instead? ($16)
To give: Matching Old English arm tattoos of each other's names, a la Billy Bob Thornton and
■ Listen to: Type O Negative's Bloody Kisses.
($15)
Total: About $162. Because, what's a $125 gift when a tattoo lasts forever? Just hope your love lasts as long.
Although you've been seen getting hot and heavy everywhere from the stands of Allen Fieldhouse to your living room couch, what better reason to get your groove on than Valentine's Dav?
The Amorous Couple:
And, if you take a couple of extra minutes to plan your hot and heavy Feb. 14 tryst, you may have an experience of sexual ecstasy that will register on the Richter scale in California. If your way to show your honey that you are en fuego with love is by turning up the physical heat, than a Valentine's Day full of sexual delights and surprises is right up your alley.
To eat: Why take time out for dinner? Sustain yourself with Naked and Naughty C chocolate fin
To drink: Several bottles of Gatorade to build up electrolytes. ($4)
For a couple with money to burn, a bottle of fine wine could add to a romantic evening together. Photo by Nick Kruge/KANSAN
**To give:** Victoria's Secret teddy ($68) or Calvin Klein boxer brief. ($18)
*Listen to:* Keith Sweat; Make it Last Forever to set the mood. ($15)
**To do:** "Spin for Sin" sex game. ($18)
Flowers: You won't have time to enjoy them Try the Condom.com condom country sampler 24 pack. ($15)
**Total:** About $79. Why not splurge a little on sexy gifts this Valentine's Day? You probably don't get out of the house to spend money on any other type of entertainment anyway.
The non-romantic couple
Valentine's Day is just another day for you and your loved one. You're not impressed by the plethora of diamond commercials, and the colors red and pink make you want to vomit. Your motto: Why spend money because of a long-dead martired saint?
- **To eat:** A meal of Hamburger Helper Cheeseburger macaroni ($2), and for desert, some simple but-tasty Jell-O dessert delights bars. ($4)
To drink: You have a water facet.
Flowers: Ha!
To do: Spend a the evening watching TV, doing homework, or playing a board game together, like Trivial Pursuit. ($27)
Total: About $33. Your cheap and effortless celebration of the holiday serves as a reminder of how ridiculous the holiday can be. Needless to say, you're not in Hallmark's target demographic.
The single (and loving it) girl;
The one accessory you don't need to make this Valentine's Day one to remember is the burden of a significant other. Instead of spending money to say "I love you" to someone else, spend it all on loving yourself — you don't need another person to make you feel special.
Whether you kick back with your friends or spend the evening by yourself, it's all about you, baby.
To eat: Load up on goodies at your local grocery store. Buy whatever your heart desires no matter the cost on your pocketbook or waistline.
(about $20)
*To drink: Bottles of so sweet and fruity Sangria.*
($3)
*To give:* Indulge in a just-for-me pleasure like a cashmere sweater ($195)
To do: You (and five of your best friends) have a spa-night in with the Jaqua Girls paama party kit. ($38) Buy a girl-power movie like *Thelma and Louise*. ($14)
■ **Listen to:** Down-with relationships power ballads on albums like No Doubt's *Tragic Kingdom*. ($14).
**Total:** About $214. Revel in the gifts you give yourself. It's doubtful your hypothetical significant other would even consider buying you a $100 sweater.
The single (and loving it) guv:
No love life? No problem. While your attached friends are dealing with dinner reservations and worrying about that "perfect" gift, you're free to sit back and laugh at the stupidity of it all. Gather together a big group of single friends and have the ultimate debacherous blowout.
**To eat:** Skip the suit-and-tie route and order pizza for your dinner-time pleasure ($10)
- **To drink:** Six-pack of your favorite cheap beer.
  (about $5)
To do: Go out to a non-romantic movie like *Hannibal* or *Saving Silverman*. ($$)
**To give:** Celebrate further, head out and celebrate your singlehood at a strip club or bar.
(about $20)
Total: About $70. Fifty dollars on a strip club?
Well, you didn't have to buy a $50 bouquet this year ...
Edited by Megan Phelps
JAYPLAY inside
Horoscopes .. 2B
Music .. 3B
Crossword .. 4B
Oddities . . . . 4B
Classifieds . . . . 5B
Movies . . . . 6B
Alone on Valentine's Day?
Columnist Greg Zielinski
gives his Top 20 reasons
why he will be.
See page 28
See page 2B
Down with the blues
Musician and professor
Kurt Crandall answers
questions about his hobby.
See page 38
Saving Silverman
A Kansan reviewer says
this movie's humor is a bit
clicked.
See page 6B