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The University Daily Kansan
Section B • Page 4
Thursday, February 1, 2001
Helen, Sweetheart of the Internet
Columnist shares New Year's insight
By Greg Zielinski
jayplay@kansan.com
Jayplay columnist
The dawn of a new year is traditionally a time for honest introspection, during which we attempt to identify traits in ourselves we would like to improve.
7. Stop pretending I'm Black and then calling in Free For All comments about White boys and their T-shirts.
As a result, if you're anything like me, you've come to associate an overwhelming sense of self-dissatisfaction and depression with Dick Clark.
As a result, I decided to make a list of things to accomplish in the new year. Although I've already told my friends my unsolicited opinions about how to improve themselves, neither one of them was very responsive. Nonetheless, here they are for you.
6. Also, no more "Greek-bashing" Free for Alls, After all, Greeks are rich in history and culture. Anyone who has seen the Parthenon or tasted gyros can tell you that.
My Top Ten Resolutions for the New Year:
3. Quit smoking in my dorm room, resigning myself instead to buy my beef jerky at the store like everyone else.
4. Change my format to include more Brittany Spears.
5. Start exercising with the "Body by Jake" videos and
10. Quit having sex with so many random, beautiful women because they can't handle my amazing love-making ability.
2. Stop being such a stupid, self-critical jerk.
Greg Zielinski
9. Quit lying compulsively.
8. Really buckle down and find out, once and for all, who let the dogs out.
2. Beep being.
3. Because the cleaning and other chores she does really are like a job, and the weekly "gifts" is a kind of salary; get rid of the Guatemalan living in my dorm room, that is, if I still hope to become labor secretary.
Zielinski is a Lakewood, Colo., freshman.
Crossword
ACHOSS
1 Gossipy Barrett
5 Carrier bags
10 Black-and-white whale
7 Self-images
15 Intense hatred
16 Dropped
17 Attached
18 Tall brown
19 Dog's bane
20 James Dickey novel
23 Samovar
24 Mary again
25 Particular talents
27 Riches
29 Node of the head
30 Node of a church
33 Quantities of paper
38 Impose
41 Mature
43 Ocorrupt
44 March Madness
46 Today's OSS
47 Part of the eye
52 Shaq's teammates
52 Appear gradually
54 "48 Hrs." star
56 Actress Lupino
57 What is measured in farads
60 Appeer
64 Have product?
67 Zigzag course
66 Part of M.T.
71 Change
7A Single time
7Long or Newton
70 Abbey Theatre founder
71 Catches forty winks
DOWN
DOWN
1 Foxny Foxx
2 Fairy tale tieflen
3 Christmas carol
4 Moving with an adding motion
5 More or less
© 2001 Tribune Media Services, Inc.
All rights reserved.
2/1/01
6 Idolize
7 Noisy insects
8 Bowie of baseball
9 Loud kisses
10 Not at work
11 Destination
12 Record-keeper
13 Alda and Ladd
14 Fido's doc
15 January in Spain
16 From the beginning
17 Chewing-gum units?
18 Severeard or Idele
19 Conformity
20 Demonstrate maker
21 Sean or William
22 Glacier in Glacier Bay
23 Bath and Ems
24 Lumber source
25 Caper
26 Come-from-
behind players
Solutions
48 Multi-deck game
45 To some extent
50 Lawyer. abbr.
51 Buster or Diane
52 Liquor quantity
53 Parewell in
Rouen
55 Group of eight
58 Ashen
59 Grandfather's
60 Cyrillic usSR
61 Squeezes (out)
62 Reticent
MOST KU
STUDENTS DRINK MODERATELY OR NOT AT ALL
0-5 DRINKS
WHEN TheyParty*
About one drink per hour over a 5 hour period.
80% of KU students use a designated driver.
- Based on survey responses from 1,459 KU students. Survey administered by the KU Office of Institutional Research & Planning (2000).
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