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Been There, Done That
I was a participant in two abortions with my ex-wife... It has been six years since the last abortion, nine since the decision for the first one. Every time I see children of the approximate age of the two lost ones, I cry, no matter where ... church, the mall, the park, the library. I want to call their names, Michelle, Danielle, Stephen, William. Their legacy is gone. Their beauty unfinished, nulled by a decision to which I agreed... I have gone from pro-choice to pro-child."
E-mail message to Human Life Alliance May 1999
im, I think I'm pregnant." It was New Year's Eve. My boyfriend sighed deeply his gaze remaining fixed on the TV. He then muttered something that made me feel already deserted. I felt a sour lump in the back of my throat. Yes, I was pregnant, and I was scared!
I knew from firsthand experience how tough it is raising a child as a single mother. I already had a 2-year old daughter, Jennifer, from an earlier unsuccessful marriage. When my pregnancy was confirmed, Tim's non-committal response to my distress and his move to Chicago, 400 miles away, left me despondent and convinced that abortion was the "easy way out." I was already struggling financially with one child. How could I raise two?
As I sat in the abortion clinic waiting my turn, it seemed like a nightmare. Women lounged on garishly printed couches as rock music played on the intercom. Everything seemed so casual, and there I was, feeling like I wanted to die.
When the nurse called my name, I changed my mind, broke into tears, and left. I felt desperately alone. Back at the university, I often cried myself to sleep. I decided to confide in a couple of college professors. They collected money to fly me out of town to have an abortion. Now I was obligated to go through with it. Still, I agonized!
I was summoned to the room where the abortions are performed. I could hear a woman sobbing hysterically in the recovery room. That memory haunts me still.
As the doctor was examining me, prior to performing the abortion, he suddenly stopped and said to the nurse, "Get her out of here! She's too far along!" Relief instantly washed over
me! How odd! I had thought I wanted an abortion but now felt instantly relieved to know I was still pregnant.
I decided to use every ounce of courage I could muster to deal with my pregnancy. My ambivalence turned into love for my unborn daughter, Melanie.
It took energy and creativity to support the three of us. My two daughters inspired me to do great things. They never stood in the way of my career. I finished my degree; then I went on to get my Master's and Ph.D. Besides being a proud mother, I am happily married, a published author, a motivational speaker, and a part-time musician.
When we endure something tough, our character and self-esteem are strengthened. Many women who have confessed to me that they've had abortions have discovered that the "easy way out" is just an illusion. Some are in abusive
relationships. Some are on antidepressants. Others just seem detached from life. Some sadly remember their aborted child's "would be" birthday each year.
I cannot promise that it will be easy. I can only promise that the anguish will pass and there are people who will help you through this trying time. One day you will look back on the birth of your child, and know that you did the right thing.
Sincerely,
Dr. Angela Woodhull
My going back to school with my son helped other women who might face a crisis pregnancy. We are bombarded with the lie that an unplanned pregnancy will ruin our education, our careers, our lives, everything. Yet I went back to school and finished with good grades. My son became a familiar sight on campus. People saw that he did not ruin my life in any way."
Laura Vosika
Stack
Glamour
Feb. 1994
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