JAYPLAY
Thursday, December 7, 2000
entertainment news
For comments, contact BriAnne Hess at 864-4810 or email jayplay@kansan.com
www.kansan.com/arts
eculiar treats perplex Kansan food critics
it's the food you wonder about while walking down the grocery aisle, but you're too afraid to try. The Oreo toaster pastries, blue bubble gum sodas and Go-Gurt Worry no more. Kansan food critics Amanda and Amber faced their fears of jalapeño corn dogs and green ketchup to bring you the hits and misses of the weird good world. You'll thank us later.
Marketing ploy: The taste of Buffalo Wings without the mess - a mix of spicy white chicken, cheeses and buffalo-style sauce stuffed into a tender bread crust. There Busters for
Reality: These Busters aren't for real - they look and taste more like bagel bites than the messy and spicy wings you eat at football parties. The tanginess is there, but the dough frame is too much, and there's no chicken taste at all. Chicken wing- chicken + bread = a total bust.
Heinz's Blastin' Green ketchup, $1.88
Marketing ploy: A kid-friendly condiment made with Heinz tomato ketchup, 20 percent more Vitamin C and lots of green dve.
Inset: Amanda Kaschube, Flossmoor,
Ill., senior tries State Fair's Fiesta Mini
Corn Dogs. The item received a thumbs
down from the critics.
Marketing ploy: Pizza-flavored Pringles that fit into a slender tube instead of a greasy cardboard box. These tiny chips
Reality: Close your eyes and it tastes like the red ketchup you remember; open your eyes and beware. Unlike its predecessor that stays firm and doesn't run, the green concoction squirts out like water and puddles like paint. It tastes the same, but your dishwasher won't appreciate the green coating clinging to your plate. This ketchup should stay on the grocery store shelf.
Marketing portable yogurt on the go and is easy to clean up. Reality: Tastes the same as regular yogurt. You might not get the same respect around the office siphoning yogurt out of a plastic tube in your cubbie, so Go-Gurt might be best eaten in private — otherwise, you're an open target for phallic jokes.
Pringles Pizza-licious Potato Crisps, .97 cents
board box. Reality: These tiny chips packed a lot of zesty flavor on every single chip, not just the top five in the container.
B.Z.Z.'s Twist Banana-flavored Milk Chocolate Spread, $1.50
eating a crunchy pizza without the messy cheese and sauce dripping on top of your shi
Marketing ploy: Great spread for sandwiches, crackers, pancakes, cookies and fresh fruit this combo combines the best of both worlds (chocolate and banana).
Reality: If Mom lets you eat cookies for breakfast, snag it off the shelf. While not overwhelmingly Oreo-flavored (but with the same amount of calories), the Pop-Tart imitations taste the same toasted or raw. But keep the milk handy. Just like the originals, you'll want a milk mustache after you're done eating.
Marketing ploy: Breakfast treat that tastes like cookies and are a good source of six minerals vitamins. uity: If Mom lets you eat cookies for breakfast
and demand.) Reality: It looks cool in the container, but this Play-Doh smelling and nasty-tasting spread should only be used as eye candy. Nutella it's not.
Marketing play: Same old applesauce, new blue look — perfect for kids' lunches or college students' study breaks. Reality: If you can get past the blue appearance and tangy berry flavor, this snack adds a little spice to an otherwise boring treat. Same bumpy texture, same wholesome goodness that Mom wanted for you — it's sure to be a hit with the youngsters or youngsters at heart.
Mott's Blue's Clues Berry-flavored applesauce, $2.09
the alligator on the packaging is chasing the banana — but he definitely didn't catch the piece, of fruit because there's not a trace of real banana taste in this.
the front of your shirt These chips might not accom pany beer as well as the real thing,but we approve.
Jones Soda Co.'s Blue Bubble Gum and Bug Juice Soda, .89 cents each
Marketing ploy: An alternative to conventional soft drinks.
Reality: Cool colors and flavors make these sodas enjoyable to drink but probably not on a regULAR basis. The Bug Juice tastes like Mountain Dew, while the Bubble Gum was not as disgusting or strong as we origi nally thought. Buy them for a change of pace.
State Fair's Fiesta Mini Corn Dogs, $2.99
Marketing ploy: The official corn dog of NASCAR, State Fair combines chicken, cheese and jalapeno into bite-size franks that add zest to any party. Reality: Youll need a race car to
add zest to any party.
Reality: You'll need a race car to zoom away from these stick-less corn dogs — much bread and not enough frank make.
away from these thickness corn buns too much bread and not enough frank, makes for a jalapeno overload. There's no taste until you feel your throat burning and eyes watering. Stay far, far, far away from these dogs.
Quaker Oatmeal's Brown Sugar Oatmeal with Dinosaur Eggs, $3.39
Marketing ploy: Eat oatmeal and watch the eggs hatch In front of your eyes all the hearty goodness of oats with extra visual activity. The dinos are so small that they
hatch in front of visual activity. of oats with extra visual activity. Reality: The dinos are so small you'd think they were extinct. When you stir the oatmeal, they disappear and reappear fully hatched and fully crunchy. With only five to six per packet, there's little visual fun look for a lot of annoyed kids.
Terry's Chocolate Raspberry, $3.29
Marketing ploy: Whack and unwrap 20 scrumptious segments of smooth chocolate with a delightful raspberry taste. Reality: While we like to whack and unwrap the bitter chocolate combined with a strong, pungent raspberry flavor made us a little sick.The chocolate ball also comes in orange. We had more fun smashing the ball on the floor than eating it.
Inset: Amber Stuever, Conway Springs senior, makes sure to catch every last drop of Yoplait's Go-Gurt. Go-Gurt is small portable tubes of yogurt you can eat on the fly.
JAYPLAY inside
Horoscopes ...2B Fine Arts ...7B
Crossword ...6B Movies ...5B
Music ...3B Classifieds ...7B
Fa la la ...
A Kansan reviewer checks out
Christina Aguilera's beat-laden
Christmas album.
See page 3B
A Politics Flick
Kevin Costner adopts a bad accent in his newest movie, Thirteen Days.
See page 5B
A Varied Program instructors express themselves by choreographing dances. See page 78
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