gift guide
Stocking stuffers for the fun at heart
By Sara Bennett
Only 18 shopping days left until Christmas.
You've bought gifts for Mom, Dad, the siblings and the significant other, but what do you get the roommate whose only apparent interest is beer and video games, or the best friend who is sick of getting sappy verses written in pink calligraphy What does the security system? On what about that one person whose tastes lie just on the fringes of good taste?
That special someone on your list has probably spent the semester slaving over Augustine and Aristotle. Wouldn't he or she appreciate a little mindless entertainment to occupy those long days of vacation? If the answer is yes, Why not try
these unique stocking stuffers?
Kathie Lee Gifford's CD, "Sentimental," sets the mood for a romantic evening or a ride in an elevator.
photo illustration by Paul Kotz / KANSAN
KATHIE LEE GIFFORD, SENTIMENTAL
If you liked Kathie Lee in the Carnival Cruise line commercials, you'll love her collection of golden oldies, "Sentimental" is especially appropriate for fans of elevator music. This CD makes one wonder if television's peppiest morning talk show hostess got her start as a Lawrence Welk singer.
Each song, from "When I Fall in Love" and "Over The Rainbow" to "I Had to be You" and "Hey There," features Kathie Lee's inspid voice accompanied by the same swing beat, violins and background singers commonly heard in your favorite dentist's office. "Sentimental" is perfect music for a romantic evening in front of the fire or for having your teeth drilled. Mercifully, Kathy Lee's cohort Regis Philbin doesn't sing on the CD.
THE HANGOVER HANDBOOK: 101 CURES FOR HUMANITY'S OLDEST MALADY
The perfect gift for those who tend to overdo Christmas and New Year's. Not only is this a comprehensive guide to curing post-partying alliments, it is one of the best examples of political correctness seen all year.
Common knowledge holds that hangovers happen to those who abuse alcohol. Indeed, "The Hangover Handbook," written by Nic Van Oudtshoorn, has an entire chapter devoted to famous drunks throughout history. By its very title, you would think "The Hangover Handbook" pretty much glorifies tying one on.
But wait. At the front of the book is a warning about the dangers of alcohol and driving under the influence. "Don't be stupid," Van Oudtshorn admonishes readers. "Don't abuse alcohol."
Preaching aside, The Hangover Handbook contains everything there is to know about drinking and hangovers. With more than 24 pages of remedies from around the world, hung over souls should be able to find something that works — if they're brave enough, that is. One cure, the Dairy Delight consists of vodka, tomato juice, Worcestershire sauce, Alka-Seltzer and full cream milk.
THE "HATING BRENDA" CD
The CD's cover aptly describes "Hating Brenda" as "Araging, hormone generated secretion of pop music genres and pop TV culture." "Who is Brenda?" is a technodance song perfect for a small rave. "Alternative College Radio Gunge Hit (Smells Like Teen Brenda)" sounds suspiciously like Nirvana, complete with unintelligible lyrics. "Horny Brenda" is an angst-filled folk song about Brenda's sexual exploits. Other songs include "Dylan's Choice," "Everyday is Brenda Day" and "Brenda Can't Dance to This."
The perfect gift for anyone who hates Brenda, the raven-healed, perpetually premenstrual twin played each Wednesday on "Beverly Hills 90210" by TV's bad girl Shannen Doherty. This compact disc, recorded by "Rump," is an extension of the band's "We Hate Brenda" newsletter, which started publication at the height of Doherty's infamy. "Hating Brenda" is also perfect for those who hate "90210" in general.
Rumor has it there's an "I Hate Brenda" book out too.
THE BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD EXPERIENCE
Experience Beavis and Butt-Head in stereo, if you dare. This mindless masterpiece is a collection of songs by bands which, according to MTV's metalhead duo, "don't suck." Never before released songs by Nirvana, Anthrax, Aerosmith and the Red Hot Chili Peppers are narrated by Beavis and Butt-Heads' trademark monotone laughter. Needless to say, everything on this album is "cool."
Beavis and Butt-Head themselves try their hands at
music on the album with a song called "Come to Butt-head," a satire of R&B love songs. The song lends itself well to the pair's adolescent sexual giggling. Beavis and Butt-Head also pair up with Cher for a revamped "I Got You, Babe."
Whether or not Beavis and Butt-Head are as funny without the benefit of visual antics is debatable, but this CD is a great gift for anyone who will admit to having the same tastes as Beavis and Butt-Head.
MARY ANN'S GILLIGAN'S ISLAND COOKBOOK
In the forward to this handy dandy little book, Bob Denver, immortalized as Gilligan on the comedy show "Gilligan's island," said he once took an informal poll to see which single female castaway was more popular with young men. Mary Ann won hands down over Ginger, he said.
It seems Mary Ann was, and still is, every prepubescent boy's dream girl, which makes this book by Dawn Wells, the original Mary Ann, the ideal bachelor's gift. Recipes help hone the culinary skills, while photos of Mary Ann in pigtails and a halter top recall those not-so-bygone days when adolescent guys mooned over the buxom castaway from Kansas.
Beavis and Butt-Head Experience CD
Scattered throughout the recipes are quotes from "Gilligan's island" episodes, biographies of each character, trivia and anecdotes about the show's cast and crew. These features, plus a complete episode guide, make "Mary Ann's Gilligan's Island Cookbook" an ideal viewing guide for those vacation nights spent watching late-night runs.
This book is also a tribute to the show "Gilligan's Island," which had its debut in 1964, ran two seasons and has continued in syndication.
Recipes include "Poo Poo Pee Doo Dip," "Professor's Miracle Rescue Slaw," "Three Hour Tour Fruit Salad," "Skipper's Goodbye Ribeye," and there is an entire chapter devoted to, what else, coconut cream pie.
BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD: THIS BOOK SUCKS
This is the perfect companion to "The Beavis and Butt-Head Experience," although "Huh Huh Huh" doesn't transfer well from the television screen to the written word. They're right. This book does suck. But if you're amused by Beavis and Butt-Head, you'll be amused by this.
Mary Ann's Gilligan's Island Cookbook
People and places at the University of Kansas.
Three-year-old takes family car for joy ride, hits parked cars and burns his house
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On Oct. 1, Mikey Sproul, age 3, made national news when he commandered the family car, which had one flat tire, and cruisered down Highway 41 near Tampa, Fla., hitting two parked cars and narrowly missing several moving ones. Mikey's assessment: "I go zoom." On Nov. 11, using a cigarette lighter, Mikey burned down his family's house, sending his father to the hospital with second and third-degree burns. Mikey's assessment: "Now I have no more house."
Aspoiled party
A 25th wedding anniversary party was disrupted in Webster, Mass., last month when 20 people were hospitalized because the chicken-gizzards-and-banana dish, which is a Puerto Rican delicacy, spoiled.
Snake of an appetite
China's 'Nanjing Daily' reported in May that farmer Li Hongzhong, 42, has eaten a snake nearly every day for the past 20 years, feels miserable on the days he can't eat one, and not surprisingly, has had difficulty meeting prospective marriage partners. Reporters witnessed Li eating a two-foot-long snake that was twisting violently as he swallowed it.
City spills its guts
In March, a small dump truck overturned in Marietta, Ohio, littering the street with cow parts. A smaller shipment fell off of a truck on the same street the following week, running the total of cowparts spills to four within a year. Said City Councilwoman Katie McGlynn, "I would just like to know why this continues to happen. Maybe we need a stronger ordinance to make this a more serious crime."
Check all the rooms first
In April, Merriam District Attorney Paul Morrison said that the body of a man who had committed suicide went undetected for three days in a bathroom of a house that was being shown by a real estate agent. Apparently, neither the agent nor perspective buyers were interested in looking inside that particular bathroom. And over a four-day period in February, guests slept in a room at an Edmonton, Alberta, motel unaware that a woman's body was stuffed between the floor and the box spring.
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
See WEIRD, Page 10.
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