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Monday. November 29.1993
OPINION UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
VIEWPOINT
Schools should increase role in sex education
The International Planned Parenthood Federation reported some distressing news: The United States has the highest rate of unwanted
ed States has the highest rate of unwanted pregnancies in the West. The report clearly signals the need for U.S. schools to make sex education a higher priority.
According to the report, teen-agers are becoming sexually active at a younger age than ever before, and unfortunately many are still sexually illiterate. The report said that "many young people think they cannot become pregnant the first time they have intercourse, or if they only have sex occasionally or unless both parties have an orgasm."
In response to this problem of sexually activity, yet uninformed teen-agers, U.S. schools should provide more accessible and confidential advice on the use of contraceptives as well as make contraceptives available. Advice on the emotional as well as physical consequences of being sexually active would not hurt as well. Young adults can get involved in this respect, giving teen-agers a chance to learn from their peers.
This report calls on people to update their attitudes towards teen-agers and sex and calls for schools to play a more active role in educating young people about sex in the '90s. Today, sex education and advice should be as common to a teen-ager's school life as football games and high school dances.
CHRISTINA CORNISH FOR THE EDITORIAL BOARD
Parents must pay heed to kids and their toys
It is the time to shower the people you love with gifts. It is also the time to make sure that those gifts are not harmful.
According to a recent report, each year, many children are killed in toy-related accidents. The most common fatal accidents involve choking, strangulation and falls.
Hundreds of new toys are introduced into the market each year. Each one must pass a series of safety-related tests created to help ensure that the toys are not potentially harmful to children. However, it sometimes seems that children are smarter than the adults testing the toys for safety.
The most dangerous toys are those that contain small parts that can be detached or broken from the main portion of the toy. Small children instinctively put objects in their mouths; it is the parents' job to ensure that the children do not have access to dangerous objects.
Other dangerous toys are those that have cords or chains, which can strangle children. These include play telephones with long cords as well as sports equipment and pull toys. Also dangerous are ride toys and walkers. Walkers often obscure the sight of the child, causing falls down stairs. Ride-on toys are similar, often moving out of control of the child and causing an accident.
In each of these cases, the burden of safety is on the adult supervising the child. However, it is the responsibility of the conscientious gift-giver to help ensure that the child has toys that will not endanger his or her safety.
DAVID BURGETT FOR THE EDITORIAL BOARD
EDITORIAL BOARD MEMBERS:
DAVID BURGETT, J.R. CLAIRBORNE, CHRISTINA CORNISH, CARSON ELROD, TOM GRELINGER, MANNY LOPEZ, COLLEEN McCAIN, TERRILYN MCCORMICK, MUNEERA NASEER, NATHAN NASSIF, KIRK REDMOND, CHRIS REEDY, RANDALL REITZ, MIKE SILVERMAN, EISHA TIERNEY, KC TRAUER AND DAVID WANEK
U. S. EXPORTS TO RUSSIA :
HOOD UDK '93
Mating alligators and editors imperil writers
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner and F. Scott Fitzgerald. you'll notice two things:
1. They all had editors
2. They are all dead.
Thus we can draw the scientific conclusion that editors are fatal. I was made intensely aware of this recently when, as the direct result of an idea conceived by my editor, I wound up flailing around up to my armpits in the Swamp of Doom.
That is not its technical name. Its technical name is the Big Cypress National Preserve, which is part of the Everglades ecosystem, an enormous, wet, nature-intensive area that at one time was considered useless, but which is now recognized as a vital ecological resource, providing Florida with an estimated 93 percent of its bloodsucking insects.
No, really, the Everglades are very important. Tragically, they have been tampered with by man, an ecological moron who is always blundering into sensitive areas and beofling them with beer canes, used condoms, golf courses, etc. Only lately has man realized that the best thing for him to do is stay out of the Everglades. This was certainly MY policy. For years the only contact I had with the Everglades was when I drove across it on Highway 41 at a speed of 87 miles per hour, which I figured was fast enough to outrun any wildlife that might prey on motorists. Even then I occasionally had Nature Encounters, such as the time my car encountered a flying green bug large enough to have a Business Class section, which produced a windshield splat the size of U.S. Labor Secretary Robert Reisch.
So it never occurred to me to set actual foot in the Everglades until my
So one Saturday morning we went.
On the edge of the Everglades we stopped for supplies at a combination truck stop/sporting-goods store. I bought the basics: a safari-style helmet, a machete, beef jerky, Evian water, a snake-bite kit and Certs.
"It's real interesting," he said, never once mentioning alligators, let alone poison trees.
editor, Tom Shroder, suggested that I go hiking with him out there.
(Here is an actual quotation from the snake-bite kit instructions: "Misuse of the lymph constrictor ... could cause gangrene which might even necessitate amputation." And this does not refer to the snake.)
I used the machete to cut the tag off the safari-style helmet, so the wildlife creatures would not think I was some easily edible swamp rookie. But I was still nervous. And I did not feel better when we met our guide, John Kala-farski, a Park Service ranger who is knowledgeable about wildlife.
"See this tree?" he said, pointing to a tree that looked, to me, exactly like every other tree in the Everglades. "This is a Poisonwood tree. You don't want to touch it."
I'm not touching anything, Tsau. Then we began our hike. At first it was fine. But suddenly John, having apparently brushed up against a lunaticwood tree, plunged RIGHT
"I'm not touching anything." I said.
INTO THE SWAMP. Soon we were up into our knees in murky, festering soup, walking on one of those squishy muck bottoms, surrounded by dense growth and the smell of rotting vegetation. I was fighting my way through big snails of vines, stumbling over logs, falling into hidden holes, while up ahead, John, oblivious to the aura of menace all around us, was delivering a cheerful nonstop commentary on the flora and fauna, pointing out rare mushrooms, tree snails, etc.
I wanted to scream, "TREE SNAILS? There could be GIANT SNAKES hiding in this water, and you're looking at TREE SNAILS?"
But I did not want to act like a weenie. I saved that until the water was up to our armpits and John, pointing right in front of us, said, "This is an alligator hole."
"You mean there's a (bad word)
ALLIGATOR in there?" I asked.
"Yes," said John, "and it's appropriate that you use that word to describe him, because this is mating season."
"WE DON'T WANT YOUR WOMEN! I shouted at the hole.
"That might offend him," Tom said.
"NOT THAT WE DON'T FIND YOUR WOMEN ATTRACTIVE!" I shouted at the hole.
When we got back onto the dry trail, I opened the beef jerky package with my machete and passed it around, and we enjoyed a pleasant sense of fellowship and accomplishment and wondered if we would need oral surgery to repair the jerky-related damage to our teeth. If you enjoy nature, I strongly recommend that you, too, take a hike to the Everglades. I'll wave to you from the car.
Dave Barry is a syndicated columnist with the Miami Herald.
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
Your coverage of the OUI issue in the Kansan was inadequate and one-sided. I respectfully take exception with your implication that moderate social drinking is unacceptable. While driving drunk is a crime, having a glass of wine with dinner is not. Your coverage should not equate severe intoxication with
OUI article inaccurate; lawyer slamming unjust
moderate social drinking.
Secondly, your willingness to print law enforcement officer Hegemen's off-hand remark that "law students are the worst ... they usually have an attitude and start naming laws" is irresponsible
In sum, the picture your article painted was unrealistic. Your coverage led the naive reader to believe that driving after having one drink could lead to arrest, detention, battery of tests, suspension of license, attorney and court costs, a criminal record, rehabilitative treatment and counseling. This is not reality, and you should not try to scare your readership into believing it. Is moderate social drinking is here to stay; let's get used to it and be responsible.
Stephen Parker
Lawrence second year law student
Rock concert etiquette for flannel shirt wearing folk
I have recently become an authority on something else. Hard to believe I know, but it's true. My new area of expertise is concerts — also known as "rock concerts" or "shows." This makes me an authority on everything in the world. I would be remiss if I held these vast storehouses of knowledge captive without sharing them, so today, I will help you enrich your life through music.
Rule two is arrive late. Do not arrive at the time at which the show is supposed to start. If one arrives early or on time, one will have to wait for the equipment to be set up and for the rest of the crowd to arrive. Also, if one arrives on time, one will have a place to park. This means that there will be no stories to tell to the rest of the attendees about how far one had to walk to get to the show from one's extremely horrible parking spot on a street several miles away in the snow.
Rule number one is clothing. When one goes to a rock concert, one must dress as much like one thinks everyone else will be dressed as one can. This, these days, generally means that one puts on a flannel shirt. Not, mind you, on one's torso, but one's waist. This is the proper way to wear a flannel shirt. Tied around the waist, so that the sleeves hang down to the tops of one's mock work boots direct from the pages of J-Crew. On the torso goes a Lollapaloza T-shirt or some similar shirt that proves that one has been to another concert and is therefore a jaded and cool person when it comes to these things. If one is lucky, it will be a worn T-shirt with a faded print, so that the image is one of an experienced and jaded concertgoer.
Rule three is to learn to obey The Switch. The Switch, for you inexperienced folks, is a huge imaginative switch on the wall backstage controlled by a roadie who only talent is being able to recognize when the music is being played. When the band starts playing, he turns The Switch on. When the music stops, he turns it off. The Switch is important (would I capitalize something that wasn't?) because it controls the audience's movement. When The Switch is on, the audience dances or jumps or grooves or bops, and when it is off, the audience stands still. If one does not learn to properly obey The Switch, one will not conform, which is definitely not cool.
Rule four is to totally disregard your fellow audience members. Do not stop to think that they may not want to smell your, no doubt, sweaty body, or touch you while you dance, or hear you sing along to all your favorite songs, or even see you舞. Pretend if possible, that you are the only one at the concert.
Rule four, subrule A, is to exhibit the same lack of respect for the band. Feel free to throw things at them and heckle them. Feel obligated to act like it is the band's privilege to play for you.
These rules in mind, you should be able to fully enjoy your next concert experience and reach the zenith if your coolness, thanks to me and any newfound authority. You're welcome.
Ryan McGee is a Worland, Wyo. sophmore.
KANSANSTAFF
KC TRAUER
Editor
JOE HARDER, CHRISTINE LAUE
Managing editors
TOM EBLEN
General manager, news adviser
BILL SKEET
Technology coordinator
Editors
Assistant to the editor ... J.R. Cialiborne
News ... Stacy Friedman
Editorial ... Terrilyn McComick
Campus ... Ben Grove
Sports ... Kristi Fogler
Photo ... Kip Chin, Renee Knoeber
Features ... Ezra Wolfe
Graphics ... John Paul Fogel
Wire ... Alexander Bloemhof, Vicki Bode, Kevin Butter
Assistant Editors
Associate editorial ... Colleen McCain
Associate campus ... Dan England
Assistant campus/planning ... Jesse DeHaven
Associate sports ... Todd Selfort
Associate features ... Almee Estrada
Copy Chiefs
Alexander Bloemhof ... Allison Lippert
... Trace Ritchle
News Clerk ... Teresa Veazey
Reporters
COLUMNIST
Copy Editors
Elizabeth Beary ... Craig Boxx
Kevin Butler ... Dan Carver
Lisa Countrillo ... Jess Delvane
Dan Erlando Fisher ... Jack Fisher
Matt Hydeman ... Stephen Martino
Stacy Morford ... Sarah Nagi
Munera Nasser ... Barba Schultz
Scott Anderson ... Sara Bennett
Mark Button ... Tracel Carl
Chesley Dohl ... Matt Doyle
Anne Felstet ... Gerry Fey
Christoph Fuhrmans ... Donella Hearn
Kent Hoffield ... Brian Jones
Lie Klinger ... Shan Schwartz
David Stewart ... Kathleen Stolle
Carlos Tejada ... JL Watson
Photographers
William Alix ... Yalerle Bontrager
Julia Clarke ... Richard Devkni
John Gamble ... Doug Hease
Paul Kotz ... Melissa Lacey
Tom Leininger ... Holly McQueen
Susan MoSpadden
Employees Resident
Dave Campbell ... James Frederick
Micah Laiker ... Den Schauer
John Paul Fogel...Stacy Friedman
...Will Lewis
AMY CASEY
Business manager
AMY STUMBO Retail sales manager
Sales and marketing adviser
PAT BOYLE
Business coordinator
BILL THOMAS
Business Staff
Campus sales manager...Ed Schager
Regional sales manager...Jennifer Perrier
National sales manager...Jennifer Evenson
Co-op sales manager...Blythe Focht
Production managers...Jennifer Blowey
...Kate Burgess
Marketing director...Shelly McConnell
Creative director...Brian Punco
Classified manager...Gretchen Koetterhahnichk
Special sections manager...Judith Hobson
Manager...Robynn Pang
Retail assistant...Tricia Bumpus
Creative assistant (photographer)...Andrew Amone
Creative assistant (photographer)
Zone Managers
John Carlton ... Jason Eberly
Justin Garberg ... Josh Hahn
... Robin Kring
Retail Account Executives
Mindy Blum ... Chris Bulgren
Chris Butter ... Kelly Caffrey
Jennifer Carr ... Jenni Goorke
Laura Guth ... Allison Kaplan
Jason Kort ... Mark Mastro
Chris Morlissey ... Frank Muller
Paula Ostrowski ... Heather Richetto
Jenny Schwab ... Andrew Shriver
Dave Smith ... Stacey Stricklin
Campus Account Executives
Keri Kimmel ... Beth Pols
Shannon Reilly ... Troy Tarwater
... Jeanne Tohey
Regional Account Executive
Arville Crawford ... Alex Kolb
Brian Platt ... ...
Account Assistants
Shelley Falevits ... Bradley Felinberg
Dean Hovind ... Mark Slothick
... Matt Spett
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