6
Thursday, April 11, 1991 / University Daily Kansan
Caring makes Hannah's House a home
Oberhelman uses her faith, experience to help unwed pregnant women and to learn from them
Kansan staff writer
By Amy Francis
Hannah's House easily could be called Melinda's House, but Melinda Oberhelman would not think of it.
Her faith and 'calling,' as she refers to it, gave her the courage to establish the nonprofit home in which she helped pregnant women 19 or younger.
"God just really put it on my heart," she said. "It was something that I felt in my heart I had to do." Overheilman started the house in Foley, where he worked closely with its board of directors. That is only part of what she does.
She lives in the house as disciplinarian, friend, counselor, chauffeur and sometimes birthling coach for her husband. She will go up to three months after giving birth.
She chose the name Hannah's House because of Hannah in the first book of Samuel in the Old Testament. She gave her first son to the church.
"I did some research on Hannah, and she was a good example to me as a mother," she said. "She was a woman who believed in prayer."
Oberhemlan was not aware of it at the time, but she now thinks that God was preparing her for Hannah's House when she was younger.
Experience
"I looked back at all the times where I really didn't care what happened to me," she said. "I must have told her that I must have had his hard on me."
She said she stopped caring about things when she was about 24 years old. She was married at 19, gave birth to a daughter at 22 and divorced at 23.
idea of what it would be like to be a single parent.
"It was after my divorce. I was just so desperate to feel good about myself. You want to prove that you re still OK. I did a lot of drugs, and I d a lot of drinking," she said. "I needed people to look at me, accept me, and that's what I think a lot of the girls are looking for."
"I've been a single parent for 17 years," she said. "I support them with whatever the decision."
Otterbeman is not ashamed of her past. She uses it now to let the women at Hanna's house know she understands what they are going through.
While the women are living in the house, she also tries to inform them about birth control and to teach them how to protect themselves have to have sex to gain acceptance.
Many of the women in Hannah's house consider putting their babies up for adoption, she said. She can provide insight about what the child's life might be like if the woman is soooo so. Oberheimer herself was adopted.
She said she also tried to let the women know she was more than just a counselor to them. She is also a friend.
And if a woman decides to keep the child, Oberhelman can give her an
'I looked back at all the times where I really didn't care what happened to me. I thought that God really must have had his hand on me.'
— Melinda Oberhelman Founder of Hannah's House
"I become very attached to the girls," she said. "If they are sad, I cry with them."
Oberhelman also has learned a lot from working at Hannah's House.
"I've learned I can't be all things to everybody. That's hard for me," she said. "I had to deal with a sense of guilt over my decision to help everybody, but I wanted to
"I thought that everyone would be really happy here and everything would be peachy. That wasn't realistic."
"Maybe (God) was preparing me then," she said.
Getting started
Working with pregnant women was nothing new to Oberhemlman. She worked at Birthright, an organization that provides counseling for pregnant women, when she lived in Pittsburg, Kan.
Melinda Oberhelman runs Hannah's House, 2216 Alabama St., a home for unwed mothers.
But it was not until she moved to Lawrence more than five years ago that she thought of starting Hannah's House.
She got little support.
"Everyone felt that the need wasn't there," she said. "They weren't real encourag."
Oberhelman recruited other friends for the rest of the board.
Later, her friend Julie Bramschreiber gave Oberhelm the support she needed to get the house started. Bramschreiber later became the first president of the house's board of directors.
knew," she said. "Most of them didn't have any experience in this, just like I didn't."
But she did look for people who had experience in their own fields. Board members range in profession from an artist to a lawyer. She met many students and served in church. 1330 Kasold Drive in Lawrence, where she is a member.
"A lot of them were people that I
Oberhelman had to get more for the house than a board of directors - she also had to get money
Financial problems
She quit her job as a proofreader at work University Printing Service to work for the house. That left her with no regular income.
Heather Oberhelman, Melinda's daughter, said she was worried about what would happen to them when her mother quit her job.
"I was really seared when she quit her job, like we wouldn't be financially stable," she said.
Melinda Oberhelman said, "I get scared, sure. Things aren't secure here in a lot of ways.
"Sometimes I question God choose me to do it. Then He brings about something to happen that convinces me that I have no doubt."
The house depends on fund-raisers, donations, a nominal fee for the mothers who can afford it and government grants for financial support. Melinda Oberhelman spends a lot of her time writing requests for grants and finding out what grants are available to the house, she said.
Phép Mening/KANSAN
Oberherman receives a salary of $1,350 a month, she said. For a 39 day month, that averaged to about $1.90 per hour. Oberherman is taking in the house with no time off.
There are now three staff members for the house. They are paid $4.50 an hour, she said. Heather Oberhelman is one of the staff members.
"I really try to use the resources hat are available in the community." Melinda Oberhelman said.
Stacey Lamb, a board member,
said, "it's going to be hard to get
money because it's a nonprofit
organization. Our wask is of
routhe here and there."
Board member Dan Trent said,
"Most of us, I'm sure, didn't think
we'd get it off the ground in the first
place."
Annual operation costs of the house first were estimated to be from $105,000 to $106,000 but were actually $80,000. The money was used for items such as the staff salary, rent for the house and the cost of operating the house, he said.
Getting away
Sometimes the house has been almost too much for Oberhelman.
"My life ended up being Hannah's House, and I had to learn to separate the two. she said "That was really hard. I've spent much time there."
'She has a real religious commitment with what she does. She felt a religious leading, you might say, about having a home for unwed mothers.'
Bob Eales Board member
Heather Oberhelman agreed that her mother needed to separate her self from the house
"I think that it is important that she gets away from the house. She used to be here all the time, she said." I asked whether I had any time to herself or be neededs.
house. She said that she, a staff member or a member of the board must be in the house whenever one of the women is in the house.
It was not always easy for Melinda Oberhelman to get away from the
But she still said she needed the time away from it.
"When you're in the midst of turmoil, it's hard to be objective," she said. "It's hard to stay focused."
She now stays focused by spending time at her daughter's apartment She said the one rule they had at the apartment was not to talk about the
"One thing that's really good is to get away from it for a little while and get objective," she said.
"When I sit and look, it's really overwhelming to me to see what
Dawn Trent, wife of Dan Trent,
said; "It really takes a lot of energy
to do what she's doing
The need
Three women are in the house now, but since it was founded it has been a temporary home for 17 women and six babies. Oberhehelman has been the birthing coach for four of those women.
we've accomplished," she said.
"Nothing is impossible. The only limits I have are those I put on me and God."
Bob Eales, a board member, said, "She has a real religious commitment with what she does. She felt a religious leading, you might say, about having a home for 'unwed mothers. Some girls have been literally thrown out of their homes. That's what Hannah's house is for."
Oberheilman said that prospective mothers sometimes did not stay at Hannah's House because they felt that things were too structured or the rules were too strict. Residents are not allowed to smoke, drink use drugs or utter obscenities. But regardless of the reasons women leave the house, they are welcome to come back and visit.
"The girls are really part of my family," she said. "I want the best for them, and sometimes that means I want to be with them, but I still want them to know I love them."
"If I were not to do this and could do anything I wanted, I don't know what I would do."
SAVE OUR EARTH!!! RECYCLE!!!
DTK KEEN-2530 25MHz 386 $ ^{\text{TM}} $ Complete System
4mb RAM 1.2mb 4.148MB FDD, 50MB HDD 25H1/PGame SVG card with K125, Super VGA memory, M024-768 0.280
10-key keyboard, MS DOS 4.01, MS-Window 3 w mouse
1-year warranty, Made in USA
All for only $ 2495.00
New Panasonic KX-P1123.24-pin printer $269
MICROTECH Computers
If you've missed your period, you want answers fast. And, now, you only have to wait one minute. With the new improved First Response* Pregnancy test, you can find out if you're pregnant after
waiting just sixty seconds. So advanced, it's the fastest method you can buy!
Which means First Response* Pregnancy Test helps put your mind at ease faster. Because it's proven to be 99%* accurate in laboratory testing, even on the first day of your missed period. And it's easy to use, any time of day.
If you have any questions call us toll-free at 1.800.367.6022
Why wait?
FIRST RESPONSE
Until you know, nothing else matters.
*Data on the FIRST RESPONSE and the Human Figure Design are registered trademarks of HYGHA SCIENCES, INC., a subsidiary of Carter Wallace, Inc. © 1991 Hygha Sciences, Inc.