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COMMUNITY AMENITIES
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KANSAS IN HEAT // LOW SEX DRIVE FRUSTRATIONS
Mike Anderson, Dellwood, Minn, graduate student, and Michelle MacBain, Kansas City, Kan., graduate student, are the hosts of Kansas in Heat, a talk show about sex and relationships that airs Mondays at 9 p.m. on KJHK 90.7fm and at kjhk.org
> Tackle the sticky world of relationships.
// MIKE ANDERSON
Q. My boyfriend of over a year has lost almost all of his sex drive. I've tried the typical methods (lingerie, porn, alcohol, sexy messages/talk, etc.) to get him interested in sex and have had less than a 20 percent success rate (which results in a 35 percent erection, at best). He insists that there are no unresolved issues or problems, and that the interest is there but physical desire is not. In spite of his lack of interest in sex, my libido is through the roof and out of control. The question isn't whether or not to cheat or leave it's how can I get my guy's battery recharged?
3 Leave him. I know you said you didn't want to, but if you have a talk with him about it and he isn't listening or willing to meet you halfway, then move on.
Here are a couple options to try
Sometimes libido differences can't be worked out. Sexual satisfaction is a very important part of a healthy relationship. It been a year now; ask yourself what really makes you happy.
A. First of all, I think your boyfriend is missing out...big time. What does he mean by not having the physical desire? A loss in libido usually has a lot to with stress. A loss of desire could also stem from a poor diet, or even medication. Perhaps something else in his life is causing him stress, and he's afraid to talk about it. As you have been going out for a year, I doubt that his loss in libido stems from any worry about his ability as a lover, or his distaste for the sex you are having—both of those would have come up by now.
1 Tell him how good it makes you feel when you have sex with him. Every guy loves to hear either how good he is or how much you want to have sex with him.
2 Don't bring up sex for a while (as long as you can go, anyway). Sometimes the absence of it makes one realize how good they have it.
A. Sex is vital to a long-term, healthy intimate relationship. A satisfying sex life is touted as integral in the stimulation and sustainability of a relationship. It sounds to me like you adopt this way of thinking.
By investing time in lingerie, porn, etc., you show dedication to the sexual relationship you share with your partner. In an unfortunate twist of fate, your boyfriend doesn't seem to care about sexually satisfying you. Do you require a long-term partner to invest his or her own emotions and time into satisfying your needs? With the 110 percent given to him, does he reciprocate with the same?
I never advocate cheating. How will that benefit your relationship? You don't want to cheat or leave. But why don't you want to leave? The lack of sexual satisfaction is a major problem; you are soliciting advice for crying out loud. What is your partner bringing to the relationship that outweighs the issue into which you seem to invest quite a bit of emotion? Ultimately, you must decide if having no sex life with your boyfriend is something you can accept.
boyfriend is something you Communicate to him the importance of desire, passion, stimulation and sexual interest in your shared life together. If he fails to attempt or fulfill your needs, then I say get rid of him. Plenty of (sexually interested) fish are in the sea.
// MICHELLE MACBAIN
Travis Young/KANSAN
Kansas coach Bonnie Henrickson encourages her players during the game Wednesday evening at Allen Fieldhouse. Kansas won the game against Wichita State 79-58.
Sophomore forward Carolyn Davis puts up a basket against Wichita State forward Michelle Price during the 2nd half of Jayhawks' opening WNIT matchup against the Shockers Wednesday night at Allen Fieldhouse. Davis put up a total of 33 total points against Wichita State.
MEN'S BASKETBALL
Jayhawks focus on staying loose, yet remaining serious
BY TIM DWYER
tdwyer@kansan.com
twitter.com/uukbasketball
When the Jayhawks entered their locker room for practice Tuesday, there was a Sports Illustrated posted in each of their lockers. It wasn't the 2011 tournament preview, which in the Midwest will feature Marcus Morris on the cover. It was from last year, with a diminutive Northern Iowa guard named Ali Farokhmanesh letting out an ecstatic yell after hitting an infamous three.
Mike Gumoe/NKANSAN Coach Bill Self argues with a referee about a call in the first half Thursday. Kansas will play its first NCAA tournament game Friday at 5:50 p.m. in Tulsa, Okla.
minds three.
"One of my coaches asked me if we should remind our guys and I said, "Yeah, remind them," coach Bill Self said. "I'm sure they all read that."
That lesson was a hard one, but it's now been learned. After last
SEEMEN'S BASKETBALL ON PAGE 8A
If you don't plan on filling out an NCAA tournament bracket, read no further. For the other 99 percent of the population, here are some tips for winning some cash.
COMMENTARY
Go ahead and put Kansas in the Final Four. Not that many Jayhawk fans needed the extra support, but Kansas' path to the Final Four in Houston is the easiest of the four No.1 seeds.
At least one double-digit seed makes the Sweet 16 every year. This year, look for these teams to possibly achieve the feat:
NCAA Tournament tips to ensure a successful bracket
- 12th seed Richmond, the Spiders won 27 games, captured the Atlantic 10 Conference Championship, and get a favorable matchup against Vanderbilt in the first round.
- 12th seed Utah State — The Aggies were under-seeded here at 12. Many bracket projections had them as an 8 or 9 seed, so beating Kansas State shouldn't shock anyone.
BY KORY CARPENTER
kcarpenter@kansan.com
Wisconsin committed Bracket competitors should also be bary of Duke. Last year's champion is a No. 1 seed once again, but they landed in the West bracket this year, with regionals played in Anaheim, California. A potential Sweet 16 matchup with Arizona or Texas won't be fun, as either team
- 13th seed Belmont — The Bruins are an experienced team with 30 wins on the year. And with playing Wisconsin in the first round — whose slow tempo would make James Naismith proud — an early Belmont lead would make a Wisconsin comeback tough.
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...
could take down the Blue Devils. If they advance to the regional final, they face a potential road game with 2-seed San Diego State, whose campus is just a short drive down I-5 from Anaheim.
Jump off the Jimmer bandwagon. BYU's All-American Jimmer Fredrete has wowed audiences all season, getting 28 points per game. However, since the season-ending suspension to forward Brandon Davies two weeks ago, BYU has been blown out by New Mexico, struggled to beat TCU, and lost handily to San Diego State. The Cougars were given a 3-seed, but St. Johns should take care of them in the second round.
1
Don't put all four No. 1 seeds in the Final Four. It's only happened once — in 2008 — and it won't happen this year. Kansas and Ohio State should make the trip to Houston, but Pittsburgh and Duke won't survive their regionals.
Edited by Brittany Nelson