4A
/ NEWS / MONDAY, MARCH 14, 2011 / THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN / KANSAN.COM
Conceptis SudoKu
8 9 7
1 3
1 4 6 2 8
4 6 7 9
7 8
1 5 9 6
9 2 7 5 6
5 4
6 8 5
Difficulty Level ★
Answer to previous puzzle
2 3 1 4 8 6 7 9 5
6 9 7 5 1 3 2 4 8
4 5 8 9 7 2 6 3 1
9 2 6 1 4 8 5 7 3
1 4 5 7 3 9 8 6 1
7 8 3 2 6 5 4 1 9
8 7 2 6 9 1 3 5 4
5 1 4 3 2 7 9 8 6
3 6 9 8 5 4 1 2 7
THE NEXT PANEL
NICHOLAS SAMBALUK
ENTERTAINMENT
A conversation with Leno on nightmares and nerves
MCCLATCHY-TRIBUNE
There's an elephant on the line and his name is Conan O'Brien. Jay Leno signed off on a phone interview to promote his stand-up tour with the stipulation that the "Tonight Show" short-timer's
name not come up in conversation. Despite the restriction, Leno did address at least one of his competitors, as well as a number of other topics:
Q: What's your (corporate nightmare story)?
A: There was this company and
they asked if I would pick on a few people in the audience. Bob Walker, they said, is a big office flirt. If you do anything about sex or girls, just throw to Bob and you'll get a big laugh. OK, fine. So I do a joke about prostitutes and I say, "Bob, you know what I'm talking about." Big laugh. Later I say, "Bob, you use condoms when you're on the road, right?" Ha, ha, ha. 1 start in on a third joke, and this woman starts crying and tears out of the building. Apparently, they had completely forgotten that Bob's wife didn't know he was the office flirt.
A: Really nervous? Let's see ... the White House Correspondents Dinner with Ronald Reagan. It was my first time. I was backstage and this general-looking guy says, "This is the president. You don't do jokes about the president." Yessir. Yessir. Next guy who comes up to me is (Secretary of State) George Shultz. He says, "Ronnie loves a good joke. Nail him. He'll think it's hilarious."
Q: What did you do?
A: My opening joke was congratulating Nancy for being named humanitarian of the year and beating out that conniving little bitch, Mother Teresa.
Yesterday's challenges continue. You can overcome them. Focus on your roots. Make sure you're properly grounded. It's not a good day for financial decisions.
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
Today is a 6
HOROSCOPES
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
Today is a 6
There are contradictions in the communication. Don't sweat the small stuff. It's best to go work out and burn calories and frustrations. Think positive.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21) Today is a 7
Money may come unexpectedly, but it may also leave the same way. Be grateful for what you have. Make investment decisions another day. Enjoy good company.
CANCER (June 22-July 22)
Today is an 8
Write a haiku now. Notice springtime and word play. You can't go wrong here. Find a new way to express your message. People want to hear what you have to say.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
To quote Monty Python, "Always look on the bright side of life. If life feels jolly rotten, there's something you've forgotten, and that's to smile and laugh and dance and sing."
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Career goals seem important today. After all, your reputation is at stake. Focus on goals, but think long term. Don't get frustrated by challenges.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Today is a 7
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Today is a
Today could present challenges. Accept them as a gift. After all, adventure has been knocking on your door, and it's all related. Will you answer?
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Today is a 7
Sometimes it's best to be quiet and just listen. Emotion and anxiety may fill the air. Your calm presence can make a difference, even if you don't speak.
Feeling like you'll do well entering an exam can actually influence the results. Say, "I can do it." Share this with a group to empower them. Get physical practice.
Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? Not you. You see him for who he is: a hungry animal, trying to survive, who's more afraid of you. Go ahead and bring treats to Grandma.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb.18) Today is a 6
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Today is a 6
Do you surprise yourself with your own brightness sometimes? Get ready for that. You may discover a new artistic skill that you didn't know you have.
ACROSS
1 Watched
5 Tax-payer's address-ee (Abbr.)
8 Injure
12 Mexican street band
14 Piece of work
15 Small prison cell
16 — fide
17 Comedian DeLuise
18 Family name on both "Full House" and "ALF"
20 Censor's sound
23 Mattel sub-division
24 Ointment
25 Lockable money container
28 Syllable often following a dot
29 Donny's sister
30 Martini ingredient
32 Orator's perch
34 Clench
35 Longtime baseball pitcher Jim
36 "... — finest hour"
37 Lowly servant
40 Exist
41 Thing
42 Television set
47 Wound cover
48 Lone
49 "Comin' — the Rye"
50 Booker T.'s backup band
51 Court-room
DOWN
1 Type
squares
2 Deviate
off
course
3 Before
4 Crown
5 Nuclear
weapon
(Abbr.)
6 Letter
after pi
7 Famous
route
8 Mingle
(with)
9 "Once —
a time"
10 Mysterious
letter
11 Despot
13 On
19 Liniment
target
20 English
channel?
Solution time: 24 mins.
21 Cambodia neighbor
22 Ticklish Muppet
23 Fortune-telling deck
25 Occult doctrine
26 Shrek, for example
27 Romans' unlucky number?
29 Film-rating org.
31 "All Things Considered" airer
33 With hands on hips
34 Urban sub-section
36 "Star Trek: TNG" role
37 Waterfall effect
38 Engrave
39 Approach
40 Isn't healthy
44 Pooch
44 Biscay or Biscayne
45 Raw mineral
46 Alphabet ending
3-14 CRYPTOQUIP
VE MIU KNRVU "NL MIU
HZMUWEWNLM" IZX YUUL KZXU
CLXUWPUZ, HNCSX VM IZRU
PMZWWUX KZWSVL YWZLXN?
Saturday's Cryptoquip: THAT BASIC SPEECH SOUND DEFINITELY SEEMS FAKE TO ME. I THINK IT MUST BE A PHONY PHONEME.
Today's Cryptoclip Chuy Neale O
Today's Cryptoquip Clue: N equals O
ODD NEWS
Man's burglary efforts hampered
MESA, Atiz. — A man is in custody after police say he broke into an Arizona townhome and got stuck in a clothes hamper underneath the window he climbed through.
Mesa police say 20-year-old Michael Trias was arrested on suspicion of burglary and criminal damage.
Authorities say no property was taken from the home, but there was some damage done to the window.
Associated Press
ENDING
UFO
CENSORSHIP
WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING
RELIGION - SCIENCE - ACADEMIA - MEDIA
GOVERNMENT - POLITICS - LAW
THE MILITARY - WORLD CULTURE
LIBERTY HALL - LAWRENCE - MARCH 18.19.20
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