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KANSAS IN HEAT // CALL ME HOT, NOT THEM
> Tackle the sticky world of relationships.
Mike Anderson, Dellwood, Minn. graduate student, and Michelle MacBain, Kansas City, Kan., graduate student, are the hosts of Kansas in Heat, a talk show about sex and relationships that airs Mondays at 9 p.m. on KJHK 90.7fm and at kkh.org
Q. My fiancé always points out women on TV he thinks are "hot." It really bothers me. Why does he do this? Why not point out how hot I am?
A. My first guess is that he doesn't realize how often he is doing this. To you, he might be doing it always. To him, he rarely does it.
I'm worried about how you feel the women on TV are getting more attention than you. I'm sure he thinks you are just as hot as them — he just hasn't said it lately.
We all need relational currencies (or displays of affection). Some of us need them as compliments, as physical intimacy or as gifts. Early in relationships we use a variety of relational currencies to build intimacy, but as time passes we tend to fall back on two or three, the ones that work on us.
// MIKE ANDERSON
Let your partner know what kind of affection you need. Don't say, "Well, how would you like it if I went around pointing out every hot guy?" That kind of language can hurt the relationship. Instead, let him know how you would really like to hear him say how hot you are. If the problem continues, ask him about it. His reaction will tell you a lot about your relationship.
A. Your fiancé will find other women attractive. You will find other men attractive. Problems only arise if you act upon sexual attraction.
Pointing out other women from television as "hot" may make you uncomfortable. The first step is to express your feelings to your fiancé. I hope, as compatible partners, communicating a need for comfort and security is not a problem.
security is not a problem. The next time he says, "Fill in the blank) is so hot," respond with, "It's a good thing you found your (fill in the blank) right here." Consider turning off the TV and leading him into the bedroom.
Take control and be his ultimate fantasy. If he continues to point out other women, celebrities or otherwise, please reconsider this person as your life-long partner. You deserve daily praises from your partner of your unique - beauty, charm and hotness.
// MICHELLE MACBAIN
Kansas gets by North Dakota in sloppy game
Junior catcher Chris Manship celebrates after making a home run against North Dakota at Hoglund Ballpark. Manship was at bat 3 times on Wednesday, scoring 1 of 5 points for Kansas' 5-3 victory against North Dakota.
BY MIKE VERNON
mvernon@kansan.com
The Kansas baseball team came into Wednesday's game against North Dakota hoping to get the bats on track over a winless North Dakota team. Instead, they ended up winning in a 5-3 dogfight victory to get back to 500 at 6-6 on the season.
The Jayhawks recorded a season-high 10 hits in Wednesday's victory over the Fighting Sioux. With the way the bats have been struggling, recording 10 hits sounds like it would make the Jayhawks and coach Ritch Price pleased with their performance at the plate.
Instead, Price and the Jayhawks seemed to think that they took a step backwards at the plate in the Jayhawks sixth victory of the season.
season.
"Today I didn't think the quality of our bats were very good at all." Price said.
upset after the game. The Jayhawks only managed to scrap together three earned runs against a North Dakota team that has struggled mightily on the mound this season. The Fighting Sioux came into Wednesday's game with an abysmal team of ERA of 11.65. In North Dakota's three game series with Missouri State, they allowed 9, 12, and 13 runs in those games.
The reason Coach Price was so upset after the game?
runs in those cases.
For the Jayhawks to only put a total of five runs on the board, is a major let-down for a team that was hoping to get into a rhythm in this week's games.
Now that the Jayhawks are 12 games into their season and are
"I was really disappointed to be honest with you," Price said. "We had some really bad at-bats."
still in a team-wide slump, the problems become mental. Price said the team appears to be trying to force the issue, and the result Wednesday was an unusual amount of pop-ups from the Jayhawks.
"There were three consecutive innings where we had six consecutive pop-ups for outs." Price said. "It's guys trying too hard."
One of the few bright spots for Kansas at the plate Wednesday was sophomore catcher Alex DeLeon's performance. DeLeon hit a line drive solo homerun
to left field in the bottom of the fifth inning, and he knocked two batters in off two separate sacrifice flies. DeLeon finished one-for-two with three RBIs and a run. DeLeon credits his improving play to better patience at the plate.
plate.
"I'm feeling pretty good," DeLeon said. "I've been swinging at better pitches, making sure I get a ball elevated in the zone, and just putting a good swing on it."
on it. Sophomore starting pitcher Thomas Taylor, who had a
strong performance going 5.2 innings and only giving up one run, seemed much less concerned about the team's batting struggles.
Edited by Corey Thibodeaux
Another good sign for the Jayhawks today was senior outfielder, Jimmy Waters, getting back on track with two hits today, including a screaming line drive down the right field line that resulted in a double.
"They're already doing a lot better from the beginning of the year," Taylor said. "They'll be fine."
For the Jayhawks to get on track, Waters and the other seniors in the middle of the order have to heat up.
"It's got to start with Waters getting it going, and [Casey] Lytle has got to get it going, and [Brandon] Macias has got to get it going," Price said. "For somebody to take the pressure off of the lineup, it's got to be those guys that have been successful in the past."
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This is obviously and unquestionably ludicrous. Bill Self, is a remarkable basketball coach, and his string of seven consecutive titles in one of the most difficult basketball leagues in the country is all the evidence you should need.
little option but to keep him there.
nite option but to keep two problems. First, there may come a game when the Jayhawks' offense isn't running smooth and Selby is the Jayhawks' best option in a broken floor. Watch him play, and you will see the incredible talent buried just beneath the surface. Self acknowledges this.
"He could still be a guy for us this year that comes out and gets 15 or 18 points when we are really struggling," Self said. "He is potentially still that guy. He just needs to have a bit more confidence moving forward."
But Selby has likely never seen the bench for as long as he has this season. He's been the most talented player in almost every gym he walks into. He's never been a sidekick, like he will be to Marcus Morris, even in his finest moments this year.
But still, the perception stands, and it can and will be used against him when the layhawks get into a recruiting war with any team for any top recruit. Kids in the top 30, roughly, of every recruiting class generally think they are the world's greatest basketball talent. An opposing coach could have an easy go of convincing them that. In Self's system, they will face the same fate as Selby.
The second problem, any coach recruiting against the layhawks will happily spout, is that there is now a stigma that Self cannot coach a one-and-done player.
But here's the thing about Kansas. This year's team — its most balanced an overall-talented since the title-winning team of 2008 — is built out of three- and four-year players. Marc Morris was ranked No. 29 in his class and Markieff was No. 49. Elijah Johnson is the only five-star recruit that starts, and it's a guarantee that he will be back in Lawrence next season.
So does Kansas even need the top recruits?
— Edited by Jacque Weber
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