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APARTMENT GUIDE 1
LIVING ARRANGEMENTS
Pick your roommates carefully
BY KATIE MILLER
editor@kansan.com
As we move out on our own and step out from under the thumbs of our parents, we all hope to find that perfect roommate — the roommate who cleans up after himself, has to study when you have to study, and is never annoying. Sometimes that happens for those whom the universe deems lucky enough, but a lot of the time people are different. Adjusting is hard and, inevitably, conflicts will arise.
The idea of roommates is flawless: this other person will pay half your bills and all you have to do is let them sleep and shower under the same roof as you. Yet as many who have lived with roommates can attest, it's just not that easy, and picking the right roommate is an essential first step.
Even great friends can easily turn to enemies, and they often do. Kory Wilcoxson, resident services manager at The Reserve, said it's actually the roommates who were
friends before living together who have the most problems.
"If a person is your lifelong friend, you tend to feel that you can say something to them and the relationship will survive, or
they will be more tolerant of adverse behavior," Wilcoxson said. "There is a level of respect for random roommates that prohibits a person from saying negative things that will hurt the other person or damage the relationship."
cleanliness, relationship statuses, and even favorite TV shows and video games. The Reserve has a similar preference card, and roommates are placed together according to their answers.
There is no definitive science that can predict
"There is a level of respect for random roommates that prohibits a person from saying negative things."
now two people will adjust to living together, but student apartment complexes like The Grove take steps to ensure randomly assigned roommates will be as compatible as possible. The Grove requires an extensive resident profile to be completed that includes questions about study habits,
KORY WILCOXSON The Reserve services manager
Interestingly, it seems no matter how the roommate is chosen, the main causes of conflict are pretty similar across the board. Wilcoxson says the big ones are food sharing, fair distribution of cleaning duties, and significant others staying over too
much. The latter was frequently a problem for junior Harrison Smith. "I got locked out of the room when he [the roommate] was having sex," Smith said, "and having his girlfriend sleep in the same room as me was strange."
Resolving roommate problems like this
is made even trickier during a time when face-to-face contact is replaced by passive-aggressive tweets and Facebook statuses; however, like any relationship, the keys to success are communication and compromise. Wilcoxson recommends mediating if necessary, as well as "communicating productively" to reach agreements. For Smith, dealing with these problems came down to trying to "make compromises, discuss the issues in a civil manner, and not to be really passive so you become more resentful."
From picking the right roommate to dealing with conflicts, learning to live with other people can be a field of landmines. The good news is if you learn to communicate and find middle ground, you'll probably come out of it without getting blown up.
Edited by Sarah Gregory
MONDAY, FEBRUARY, 21, 2011
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
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