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CONTACT
KANSAS IN HEAT // PASSING THE FRIEND TEST
Mike Anderson, Dellwood, Minn. graduate student, and Michelle MacBain, Kansas City, Kan., graduate student, are the hosts of Kansas in Heat, a talk show about sex and relationships that airs Mondays at 9 p.m. on KJHK. 90.77m and at kjhk.org.
> Tackle the sticky world of relationships.
// MIKE ANDERSON
Q. I've been dating this girl for a little over a month now. Dates with just the two of us have been amazing, but nights out with her friends have been a disaster. I don't think her friends like me. Should I be worried?
A. Absolutely, you should. Nobody is more influential than the group of friends. Her friends are the most influential people in her world. Even if she has been talking you up to them, you still have to woo them over in person.
person.
One of the most influential turning points of a relationship is when you meet the friends. That first impression is important to the future of the relationship. It sounds like your first impression didn't go well — that's OK — but you are going to have to find a way to make them comfortable or enthusiastic about the likelihood that you will be dating their friend. You could invite her and her friends out for a night. You want her friends to have a great time and associate that great time with you. When you are out with them focus on their happiness. Be friendly but not flirtatious — a key difference. Be sure to ask questions and try to joke around with them. Humor is also vitally important.
If the others friends laugh at your tease, then the world is yours. Your relationship has great potential. Now focus on the brothers or sisters.
vividly important. Here is the key: Think of them as sexy coworkers that are all at a position above you. You want to be on their good side because you are going to see them a lot and they have some power over you. Hence, buying a round of lemonades or a round of bowling won't work. You can't get on their good side with gifts alone. Ask questions, make them laugh and even tease them a bit if things are going well — but only if things are going well.
A. The first few weeks of dating someone you feel is really special can be wonderful. You're getting to know someone and the conversation is new and exciting. The chemistry is firing and you want to spend all your time together. Then, it's time to meet the friends.
Then, it is time to meet Oh, buddy, they are sizing you up. But don't worry, all is not lost.
Remember, her friends, the people who "know her the best," have missed her all this time she has been having these "amazing" nights out with you. So, when she introduces you as a potential new mate, she is also reintroducing herself as a girl embarking on a potential new relationship. In the immortal words of Rod Roddy, you found yourself a Double Whammy.
A one-month courtship is not considerably long, but it is long enough to consider if this person is worth your time and effort. This is exactly what her friends are thinking. Although you may not feel they are paying attention, all eyes are on you. The way you treat her now will facilitate her friend's opinion to either allow or dismiss your potential relationship. So, as much as you may not want to hear this, you are courting her and her friends at the same time.
Here's a suggestion: Host a casual party with your dating partner. Invite her friends and your friends as guests Set an environment of fun and relaxation. Be a courteous, generous and entertaining host. Be an affectionate, gentlemanly and attentive date. If you truly fancy this girl and want to discover more about her, you'll have no problem winning over the friends with your honest interest in her.
If all goes well, we expect you to solicit our advice on how to win over the family.
// MICHELLE MACBAIN
Senior guard Mario Little is whistled for a foul as he grabs Kansas State guard Rodney McGruder during the second half. Kansas committed 22 fouls and gave up 24 points from the free-throw line in the 84-68 loss at Bramlage Coliseum Monday night.
in the week heading up to Kansas State. "The twins are terrific passers, even though their stats don't say that in assist-to-turnover ratio. They have more assists that they would get credit for if it was hockey."
hockey.
In hockey the pass preceding the assist is also credited with an assist, and the twins excel at opening up the game with passes out of a double team. Little, however, is a pure scorer in the post who is hesitant at best to give up the ball once he gets it. Jeff Withey, who played a conference-season high 11 minutes, hasn't developed the Morris's skill set, either. So with the twins in foul trouble and Thomas Robinson out, Kansas State was able to neutralize what had been the best offense in the nation for the past six games.
nation for the post-battle "They played the same defense they usually played, we just couldn't really buy a basket," said Little. "We let that transition to
the defensive end. Just couldn't get it right." Little finished 3-of-9 from the field.
from the field.
Self, with remarkable prescience, said last Thursday that he
had a problem because his team is so effective offensively that it becomes hard to convince them that they need to be keyed in at all times on defense.
game?" Self asked.
"In games where you're not making shots, or a game where you're playing with foul trouble, can you get four or five stops in a row in the clutch part of the
It only took four days for Self to get his answer: a resounding no.
Edited by Jacque Weber
Kocon returns to field after overcoming injury
"All I knew was softball. Being unsure of what would happen, it scared me a little bit," red-shirt junior outfielder Liz Kocon said. After the first week of week that would have been her junior sea-
BY HANNAH WISE
hwise@kansan.com
"I immediately knew something was wrong. It kind of felt like my hip was out of place," Kocon said.
dove to catch. It was so low that when she moved to field the ball her toe got stuck in the turf jamming her leg up into her hip.
The team was practicing in the Anschutz Pavillion. Kocon was preparing to
"If adversity does come your way, you just push through it."
The coaching and training
LIZ KOCON red-shirt junior outfielder
preparing to play a field a low ball, about ankle level. It was a ball that, if the team had been outside, she would have
staffs were not sure of the degree of injury at first. Kocon was prescribed ice baths to lessen she wll in her hip. After
receiving the MRI results, she was diagnosed with two muscle tears in her hip. She opted to
The next step was recovery. After resting and reducing swelling with ice baths, the training staff moved Kocon to the water treadmill in the aquatic rehabilitation center. Using the water treadmill helped to keep pressure off her hip while allowing her to stay in shape and exercise to rehabilitate the muscles with minimal pain.
allow the muscles to heal on their own without surgery.
"It was a clean tear so it was just easier to heal that way. Surgery would have taken just as long," Kocon said.
minimal pain.
"It was a lot of stretching and just gradually getting back into full running. I am still limited today, but it is a lot bet,er than where I was," Kocon said.
SEE KOCON ON PAGE 9A
After a season-ending injury, Liz Kocon returns to the field with an extra year of playing time.
again, the bonding with nature can resume, and our recreational activities can commence.
The rain is going to start Saturday and basically go throughout the week, so enjoy this climate now. There is no better time than the now. If you put it off, something will come up and you'll miss it.
Get some people together, forcefully if need be, and engage in something other than video games and watching Jersey Shore. Run, throw, catch, kick, hit, jump, even hop and skip if you have to.
It's an exciting time for sports reporters too because that means more of you are available for stories. And if you think your group, club or intramural has a cool story and deserves coverage, please feel free to let us know in the case we may not find you.
Going to the gym can be fun, and that's where everyone goes during the winter months. But weaving through a crowded track or getting stale muscles while in line for a weight bench isn't the ideal way to exercise. Maybe this could jump-start that New Year's resolution you faltered on.
Your body likes the changes anyway. And the world is entirely open. No waiting, no limits. Unless you count the streets
1
According to weather.com, it's supposed to be up in the 50 degree range for the duration of February after Friday. What you do when that happens is up to you. That could be too cold for some people to toss a ball around or to jog a few miles.
Sure, it's going to look a little gloomy at times. And it could be wet with the remaining snow dissipating. But just remember the sun is still shining somewhere. You don't have to wait for spring.
Edited by Erin Wilbert