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FEATURE
Cheating. A word that holds so much power, it ignites distress among romantic partners. Some people regard cheating as being sexually involved with another person while being in a relationship. Others consider texting another person to be cheating.
While defining cheating and the reason for doing it is different for each couple, the backlash and emotions involved can be devastating. The reasons for cheating have changed little over the years. What has changed is the definition of cheating and the different outlets in which it occurs.
WHAT IS IT?
Each couple defines cheating differently. Typically, people think of it as being sexually involved with a person who is not your romantic partner. But what does it mean to be sexually involved? Mayo Clinic women's health nurse
practicioner Lois McGuire identifies sexual intercourse as much more than the traditional definitions. In her article "What is considered intercourse?" McGuire notes the definition of sexual intercourse has changed from just a penis entering a vagina to other forms of intimacy. These other forms can be anything from oral sex to other forms of sexual activity.
While defining cheating is difficult enough, trying to see if and when it's coming might be harder. But the key is noticing changes in behavior. Molly, Kansas City, Kan. junior, cheated on her boyfriend and began showing signs something was wrong after hanging out with a new set of friends. The summer after her sophomore year, Molly began hanging out with her new roommates and their friends. She noticed herself developing an interest in a certain boy and slowly began changing her habits regarding her boyfriend. "I started
communicating less with my boyfriend and spending more time around this new boy and his friends," she says.
his friends, once they saw
The actual incident of cheating was unintentional but that detail didn't make Molly feel any better. "I regret my actions because I hurt someone I cared about," she says.
Being the "cheater" and not the "cheater" are two very different sides to be on. Kyle Brown, Topeka senior, was cheated on during his freshman year at KU. He and his girlfriend had been dating for four months. The two had to say goodbye when he left to start school at KU and he soon began to notice changes in her behavior. Brown's girlfriend started shortening their conversations and didn't seem as excited as she used to be to talk to him. "She wouldn't talk to me as much as she used to," he says. "She was also really vague about what she was doing and whom she was with, and she
used to want to tell me that stuff. Even though I was at KU and she was in Topeka, we started seeing each other less." Brown ended things with her because of distance issues, only to find out she had cheated when she confessed to him after the breakup. He says he was hurt at first but made the choice to move forward and never look back. "We haven't talked since," he says. "People who have been there know how it is."
WHY?
Isn't this always the first question someone asks when he or she has been cheated on? Sometimes you won't get a straightforward answer. But if you read between the lines you may be able to figure it out on your own. Ben, a senior from Chicago, cheated on his girlfriend six months during his freshman year at KU. He cheated with an old girlfriend from back
Senior guard Marisa Brown and freshman guard Diana Moore celebrate after teammate Carolyn Davis hits the winning shot Wednesday night at Allen Fieldhouse. The Jayhawks took on fellow Big 12 team Iowa State. The game went into overtime and Kansas won 86-85.
Megan Singer/KANSAN
WOMEN'S BASKETBALL REWIND PAGE 7A
Kansas softball team gears up for tournament
BY HANNAH WISE
hwise@kansan.com
Inches of snow and freezing temperatures don't generally comes to mind when thinking about softball season. But for the Kansas softball team, these elements became a harsh reality.
The weather has forced the team to practice indoors on the Ray Evans Football Field at the Anschutz Sports Pavilion. The facility allows the team to get batting practice in and hold full practices for the infield and outfield. However, practicing on the turf creates a number of obstacles for the players.
"We can't dive on it or else we will get torn up," said sophomore outfielder Maggie Hull. The ball reacts differently on the turf than it does on the grass or the dirt. When teams are playing outside, a ground ball might hop slightly to the left or the right depending on the condition of the field.
"We are ready to get out. At some point in time as a team you are done with practice and we are at that point. We are going to go out and work as hard as we can and there are some other schools that are in the same boat as we are," Smith said.
Even though the conditions are different, Coach Megan Smith is not going to let the indoor practices be an excuse for lack of effort.
The team's chance to escape the Kansas cold is finally here.
8. Kansas State: Kansas State nearly won a bowl game last year, but loses its only offensive spark, running back Daniel Thomas, who ran for 1,585 yards and 19 touchdowns. Who will replace him? Will the quarterback play improve even a little? Coach Bill Snyder hasn't recruited anyone of note to replace Thomas' production.
9. Iowa State: I give the Cyclones the edge over Kansas here because of the schedule. Both teams have more holes than a block of swiss, but Iowa State gets to host the Jayhawks on Nov. 5, and that might be the tiebreaker in the conference standings.
7. Texas Tech: I liked the hire of coach Tommy Tuberville last year and I think he can continue to improve the Red Raiders. Without a quarterback, though, it's hard to see how good Tech can be in 2011.
spark an impressive six-game winning streak heading into the Cotton Bowl, which the Aggies dropped to LSU. Tannehill starting from day one will help this year, along with eight other returning offensive starters.
5. Texas: There is just too much talent in Austin to miss out on another bowl game: Coach Mack Brown landed the nation's fifth-best recruiting class according to ESPN, and the defense returns eight starters. Losing defensive coordinator Will Muschamp to Florida keeps me from putting the Longhorns any higher than fifth.
10. Kansas: Good things are happening for Turner Gill and the football program, it just might take another year to see those improvements. Gill and his staff landed a stellar recruiting class for a disastrous first season. As many as 16 of those freshman will play in 2011 according to Gill, which makes me wonder how much talent he didn't have in 2010. Expect growing pains from the large batch of first year players next season, but be excited for 2012.
6. Baylor: Robert Griffin III is the best quarterback no one outside of Big 12 country has heard of. Griffin accounted for 30 touchdowns in 2010, with 22 through the air and eight on the ground. The defense is still a question mark, however.
Edited by Corey Thibodeaux