THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 2011
PAGE 5A
opinion
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I'm in college and the teachers are still passing out candy! Score!
Pooping on the field of the Super Bowl is super awkward
Pooping during a final is super awkward.
Who needs Brett Favre when you have Aaron Rodgers to lead you to a Super Bowl victory? Go Pack Go!
It wouldn't be a halftime performance if it didn't suck. Tradition.
According to Cosmo Magazine, one in five men play video games butt naked.
I have done the nerf gun thing. Even put a can on my friend's head and tried to shoot it off.
Valentine's Day: The holiday where everyone has the goal to get laid. So why is it represented by hearts? Shouldn't it be penises and vaginas?
Mother Nature is full of epic fails this winter.
My children will never be allowed to attend Mizzou.
Q: Why is Mizzou replacing the wood on the basketball court with cardboard? A: The team looks better on paper.
Essays are like mini skirts sometimes you wish they just were not there.
No no, you got it all wrong. Essays are like mini skirts, they have a beginning and an end. A very short end.
Fell asleep watching "Weekend at Bernie's" last night. Seven words come to mind about that. Two are unacceptable and Socrates.
The Super Bowl was so much better watching it with a crowd of people. I didn't have to hear any of the annoying commentators or the singing. Missed out on some of the funny commercials, though
Dear professor, I respect your vast knowledge of this really interesting subject, but you drop too much of it on my brain.
If you ain't KU, you're Missouri.
If a professor calls you a nerd in front of the class, it's a good sign that you should stop sucking up.
... And the clouds opened up, and God said, "I hate you, Missouri!"
J.S. government should show more concern for Egyptians
INTERNATIONAL POLITICS
(Before you prepare your typing fingers for an angry, explosive response letter, reread the statement.)
America doesn't care for the Egyptians.
Sadly, one of the most obvious things from this uprising in Egypt, aside from the power united people have against their own government, is that the American government does not care for the actual people of Egypt.
The government doesn't care that 40 percent of Egyptian families live on less than $2 a day.
Nor does government care for 16-year-old Saif Musa, 20-year-old Mohamed Hussien, 25-year-old Amr Gharib or more than 100 Egyptians who have been killed in these protests.
And the government certainly didn't care that the Egyptians have been under this crippling dictatorship for the past 30 years up until the birth of this uprising.
The government doesn't care Ahmed Basiony, the 31-year-old artist and father of two, was shot dead on the first day of protests.
Vice President Joe Biden armored the aforementioned when he stated that Mubarak was an ally of America and
BY SARA JAWHARI
siawhari@kansan.com
Biden's denial only confirms America's desire to maintain its important puppet in the Middle East: Egypt. Our government proves this by rewarding the regime with $1.3 billion of taxpayer's money annually, which is used to fund the weaponry currently being turned on protesters.
to introduce political reforms and to fight corruption - empty promises made several times over the decades of his rule.
Just days after President Obama demanded that change in Egypt must begin immediately, many have accused the Obama administration of sacrificing concrete steps toward genuine stability.
At this point, Mubarak has promised not to run again, but insists on serving the remainder of his term to "supervise a peaceful transfer of power." He's vowed
was responsible for Middle East peace efforts, adding that he would not refer to him as a dictator.
U. S. officials said Egypt's newly appointed Vice President, Omar Suleiman (Mubarak 2.0), promised them an "orderly transition" that would include "constitutional reform and outreach to opposition groups."
The MB has been banned from Egypt (but have stood as independents) as it opposes the Mubarak regime and past Egyptian governments. Al-Qaeda also denounces the MB for taking part in elections. And both the U.S. and Israel have dubbed the MB a terrorist organization, as it opposes the 1979 peace treaty between Egypt and Israel.
The Muslim Brotherhood, Egypt's largest opposition group, began talks with the government Sunday, trying to end the country's now 2-week-old political crisis but made clear it insisted on President Mahmoud's immediate removal.
This is the fact that has got the two superpowers shaking in their boots.
Shimon Peres, Israeli President, has attempted to camouflage this real fear by warning that the banned MB could
exploit free elections to establish a "fanatic, religious, oppressive regime."
Peres, also not concerned for the Egyptian people, used his words that are obviously only meant to stir fear amongst the ignorant.
Democracy does not automatically guarantee peace. But why can't we have a U.S. foreign policy that is supportive of national self-determination and less concerned with playing the grand chessboard? I want to watch the news knowing my tax dollars are no longer funding the bullets shot at these innocent heroes demanding nothing but basic human rights.
Either we are on the side of freedom, as frightening and chaotic as it is, or we simply abandon that effort as "too risky" and back Mubarak 2.0 and call it "change."
We must remember who this is really about — the Egyptians. Not Israel. And not America.
Jawhari is a junior from Kansas City in journalism and anthropology.
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HUMOR
New Beatles degree might spark new trend in academics
Even though they've been apart for over 40 years, The Beatles continue to break new ground. This time, it's in the world of academia.
Last week, Mary-Lu Zahalan-Kennedy overcame her addiction to hyphens to become the first person in the world to earn a master's degree in Beatles studies. The two-year program, offered at Liverpool Hope University, was, according to the new graduate, "challenging, enjoyable and it provided a great insight into the impact the Beatles had and still have to this day across all aspects of life."
If any band deserves its own degree, it's The Beatles. After all, they left an indelible impact on the world by giving Paul McCartney the confidence to form Wings, the greatest band of all time.
But could this be the start of a new academic trend? Could even more musician-specific master's programs be on the way?
Boy Band Studies: This program focuses on the mysterious Boy Band, a peculiar specimen that ruled the '90s and early '00s but has since gone extinct. Students will explore the impact bands such as N*SYNC, the Backstreet Boys and 98 Degrees had on the impressionable teenage girls of the day and give Freudian readings on their lyrics and choreography. Classes include Fake Chemistry, Bad Boys 101 and Hair Gel Physics.
Probably not. But they SHOULD be! Outlined below are a few of my proposals for catchy courses of study that revolve around the radio idols of our time.
KeShanomics: An offshoot (or, more accurately, a pale imitation) of Lady Gagagology, this program examines Ke$ha's unique position as a singer so irrelevant that she somehow becomes super-relevant. Students investigate her artificial provocateurism in the context of an increasingly trashy American society. Classes include Alcohol & Oral Hygiene, Alternative $pelling and Amorous
BY ALEX NICHOLS anichols@kansan.com
Pharmacology.
Kanye Western Philosophy:
Students in this field will delve into the tailed and ever-growing mythology of the iconoclast that is Kanye West, focusing in particular on the dichotomy between his musical genius and personal douchehood.
In-depth lyrical analysis is complemented by psychological readings of his bizarre public behavior. Classes include Advanced Egotism, Advanced Narcissism and Dope Beats.
Coldplayography: In this course, students will discover how Coldplay exploited America's love of all things safe and boring for their own monetary gain. The band is viewed as a paragon of both conservation and business, as their practice of recycling the same song over and over again proved to be cost-efficient and highly profitable. Classes include U2 and You, U2 and You II and Basic Chord Progression.
Wu-Tangese: Offered exclusively at Shaolin University, this program focuses on the nexus of eastern philosophy and east coast rap. SU's lecture hall, The 37th Chamber, will play host to seminars held by Professors U-God and Masta Killa, who have nothing else to do anyway. Classes include Neck Protection, Advanced Ruckus-Bringing and the Methodology of Method Man.
Nichols is a senior from Stilwell in creative writing
CARTOON
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
NICHOLAS SAMBALUK
'Red and Blue' story not deserving of cover page
The cover-page feature of B Double E and his rendition of Wiz Khalifa's "Black and Yellow" was beyond cliché and didn't deserve the front page of the Kansan. If I had a dime for every time a story about a "Black and Yellow" remix has been published across America in the past two months, I would be a rich man. You guys should focus on other more impressive or vital stories or if you do want to write about music, write about locals who have made a living making original music not remixes. Local hip-hop artist Stik Figa just released a free EP highlighting life in Topeka and Kansas with national producer and emcee Oddisee. It was one of the top downloads on Bandcamp (a music download site) and much more fascinating than a lame remix with a fancy video. Ultimately, that story was beyond depressing for me as a regular Kansan reader. It
may be newsworthy but definitely not worthy of the front page.
James Baker is a junior from Coppell, Texas.
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THE EDITORIAL BOARD
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