6B
/ **SPORTS** / THURSDAY, DECEMBER 9, 2010 / THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN / KANSAN.COM
INSTANT
NOTICE
THE BEST OF WESCOE WIT
The funniest, weirdest and downright strangest collection of convos we heard this semester.
PROFESSOR: It was nothing sexual, it was just two dudes smoking doobies and doing shots of tequila.
GUY 1: So I snuck into a girls bathroom at Hashinger to go pee and they had these weird boxes in their stalls.
GUY 2: Well, what was in them?
GUY 1: Don't. Even. Ask.
GIRL 1: When you're 22, you think, "I'm invincible, cops can't mess with me." But I was wrong.
GUY: And then my dad comes in screaming.
"Get your pecker out of my fish tank!"
PROFESSOR: It's fun simulating sexual activity with plants.
GUY 1 God, you're a dick.
GUY 2 Shut up, ass-gnome.
PROFESSOR You both suck, now be quiet.
GIRL 1: You've dated like, the state of Kansas. And you keep track of the exact date and time you've kissed boys.
GIRL 2: No, that's only for sex. And when I found out I was pregnant.
GUY 1: Who's your man crush?
GUY 2: My friend Dan. Who's yours?
GUY 1: Christian Bale.
GIRL: I don't want to stay much longer —
(on phone)
it's, like, creepy quiet here.
GUY: Where are you?
GIRL: The library
PROFESSOR: Seriously guys, a well-tailored British accent is all you need to get laid in the States.
GIRL: Which periodic element is the most chill?
GUY: I'm not sure!
GIRL: BRO-mine!
**GIRL:** You've got the personality of a ... of a ...
(on phone then
hangs up) of a Ford Focus ... with acne ... and HPV.
PROFESSOR: Writers always take notes everywhere. Except when driving. Also, don't use a breast pump while driving. It's dangerous.
GIRL 1: Fries are a gateway snack. They only lead to harder snacking.
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