Opinion THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2010
WWW.KANSAN.COM
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FREE FOR ALL
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I am so glad I don't have a lis,)
Think about what you could buy with the money you spend on tampons in a lifetime
I love my three-hole-punch way more than anyone who isn't Milton from Office Space should ever love an office
Should I be worried that whenever I smell a permanent marker I instantly think of Abe and Jakes?
--against violence towards women.
I love how the transitive property applies to everything in life
--against violence towards women.
Synchronicity is seriously everywhere.
--against violence towards women.
School and eight hours of work today made me too tired to make Ramen when I got home. So, I just had a bottle of beer for dinner. Yay college.
--against violence towards women.
Mmm, microwaved brownie batter.
--against violence towards women.
Get in my belly, baby!
The Chickenstrip comic perfectly epitomizes the relationship between my roommate and me.
--against violence towards women.
I'm hunkering down for my first-all-nighter of the semester with Easy Mac and diet coke.
Take no prisoners, comrades.
--against violence towards women.
Does anybody in Anschutz know anything about physiology?
--against violence towards women.
How does Simba pay for college? Mufsa.
--against violence towards women.
Zombies love girls for their brains, not their boobs.
--against violence towards women.
I have a bed, but I choose to sleep on the floor.
--against violence towards women.
Is it bad of me that I become a little less attracted to a girl when she misspells something?
--against violence towards women.
All positions locked down.
--against violence towards women.
Both enlightenment and entertainment in show
SEXUAL HEALTH
She doesn't feel comfortable talking to her granddaughter about her vagina. But her granddaughter keeps on asking. Finally, she tells her about an incident that shaped her future relationship to her own body.
As a young girl, she was making out with a boy when he started to make fun of her for getting wet while being aroused by him. She was deeply embarrassed and from then on she has tried to deny the existence of her vapua.
After telling her granddaughter the story, she feels liberated because she was able to share her experience with someone else and realize why she didn't want to talk about her vagina in the first place.
After seeing this and other scenes of the "Vagina Monologues," many women often come up to its writer and director, Eve Ensler, and tell her how her play has helped them value the presence of their own vaginas.
Ensler first staged the play, a collection of interviews with women about their sexual experiences, in 1996. Ensler based them on interviews with more than 200 women.
At first, she performed all roles by herself. Now, the monologues and interviews are performed by celebrities and laymen on stages all around the world.
The play also triggered the creation of "V-Day," a grassroots movement dedicated to the light
Lets Talk about Sex
BY CAROLINE BLEDOWSKI
In an interview with Women. com, Enlser said how her own brutal household inspired her to become active in ending violence against women. After her personal experiences with violence, she became obsessed with rape and incest. The "Vagina Monologues" have helped women to realize how important sexuality, and the mal-treatment thereof, is for their whole life, she said.
Tonight, Enlser's witty and moving tale of women and their vaginas comes to our campus. A multifarious cast takes the audience on a journey through the web of a woman's fears and desires. The main focal point: her vagina.
The play consists of interviews with women about experiences with their own sexuality, both positive and negative. The topics range from the first time a woman sees her vagina in a mirror to the gripping tale of a rape.
I hadn't seen "The Vagina Monologues" on stage before. By the time it ended, I went through various stages of laughter and empathy. When the actresses made jokes, I laughed; when they told stories about rape or other acts of violence, I became sad. The actresses played their roles with an admirable self-confidence and pleasure in what they were doing.
I hope the play will provide, if not a life changing experience, at least a night of entertainment and enlightenment.
Bledowski is a graduate student from Cracow, Poland, in journalism.
Before I visited a rehearsal,
The Vagina Monologues
The Vagina Monologues
Where: Hashinger Hall
Theater
When: Today and Saturday.
Doors open at 7 p.m., show starts at 7:30 p.m.
Tickets are $5 and can be purchased at the theater beforehand or the night of the performance.
EDITORIAL CARTOON
MARIAM SAIFAN
HUMOR
The art in candy hearts
Valentine's Day is quickly approaching, and everybody is wondering the
same thing: What will this year's new hot candy hearts say?
The Necco candy company has been making conversation hearts since 1902. Apparently, back in the day sayings such as "kiss me" and "be true" were all the rage.
But the youths of today want something new, exciting and relevant printed on these chalky tokens of love.
"Be true?" What's that supposed to mean? Lol, am I right? Please translate that into English, Mr. Shakespeare.
That's where I come in. I have come up with a number of fresh sayings that Necco should put on their rock-hard, borderline-inedible pieces of "candy"
Fortunately, candy hearts have evolved over the years. "Fax me" was a sensation when it debated in the 80s, and everybody talked about "girl power" when it first appeared back in 2000.
"Let's Smush" — This year, MTV's "Jersey Shore" revolutionized television by putting a bunch of insufferable, attention-seeking morons in the same house and
These sayings will not only speak to our generation, but will surely transcend time and be relevant for decades to come. Unlike, say, "be true."
Under Observation
"Plug Ur Hair" — "Avatar" is the highest-grossing movie of all time. I haven't seen it (why go to the theater when "Must Love Dogs" is on TB5?), but evidently the NaVi make emotional connections by plugging their hair into things. Expect your significant other to immediately dunk him or herself in blue paint upon receiving this heart from you.
letting the cameras roll. I'm not entirely certain what "smushing," a term popularized by the show, actually refers to, but I'm sure it's something romantic.
BY ALEX NICHOLS
"U Hav Swagger" — As one of the top swagger experts (swaggspert) in the world, I can attest to the fact that swagger makes the ladies swoon. Let your boyfriend know that you notice when his socks are at maximum swagitude.
"Pants on Ground"—Gen. Larry Platt wrote and performed the old people's anthem of 2002 on "American Idol" in 2010 and
it became a smash hit. Although the original song was about hooligans wearing baggy/saggy pants, the phrase takes on a whole new meaning on Valentine's Day. Though Mr. Platt despies gold in people's mouths, he possesses a silver tongue, and his beautiful poetry will surely help you seduce your beloved.
"Shamwow Me" — Though Shamwows may, in reality, be slightly less effective at wiping up spills than tissue paper, this candy heart will soak up your significant other's affection, guaranteed. Also, it's a pun, and ladies love puns. Right, ladies? Ladies?
Anyway, keep a lookout for these soon-to-be smash hits on Sunday and, thanks to my impeccable cultural foresight, on every Valentine's Day for the rest of eternity. Now get out there and smush.
Nichols is a junior from Stilwell in creative writing.
Go to Nichols' online column and submit what you think candy hearts should say. www.kansan.com/news/opinion/column/
POLITICS
European socialism still far from America
The obsolete fear of socialism in this country is bizarre — especially from an outside point of view.
I'm now better able to analyze the matter from the inside, having lived in this country for a while now, but this irrational fear doesn't seem any less bizarre.
Recent accusations of socialism are just as awkward and untruthful as some post-WWI propaganda. It has the same fantastic approach as telling little children they better go to sleep or the bogeyman is coming to get them.
When I see propaganda stating the current American government has a "socialist" agenda, I can't help but ask myself: Are the people and/or organizations sponsoring this information antiquated or ignorant, or do they just want to mislead?
For those spreading these misleading announcements, a brief look at some history books would elucidate my point.
Socialist governments are remnants of the past. Socialist (or Communist) movements that became governments failed and proved to be incapable of putting to reality the theoretically beautiful principles they predicated. We're talking about dictatorships that not only restrained basic human rights but also killed people who opposed their government.
So, a closer look at the socialism history and process will bring us to what's become of the movement after the fall of those governments: the social-democracy.
Cutting to the chase, social democrats in Europe radically changed socialism, combining the free market with social policies. This blend of concepts and flexibility is what kept them in power for so many years in countries like Sweden.
Read this, from the new Declaration of Principles in the 18th Congress of the Socialist International in 1989:
Sounds good to me.
"Democratic socialism is an international movement for freedom, social justice and solidarity. Its goal is to achieve a peaceful world where these basic values can be enhanced and where each individual can live a meaningful life with the full development of his or her personality and talents and with the guarantee of human and civil rights in a democratic framework of society."
Brazilian President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva comes from a leftist background rooted in his history as a labor union leader. Most of his constituents expected a "socialist" revolution when he took office, and thus the revocation of neoliberal economic measures the previous government took. He did not live out these expectations (thank God).
When he kept the liberal economic orientation from the previous government, the media and the people accused him of "having a capitalist agenda."
There are many sides to the same issue. Governments, by definition, are supposed to "regulate" fields of society.
I'm not saying we should geaux democratic-socialist. Let me say again a curious thing about Brazil (where I'm from), regarding this ideological quarrel.
Why choose people to represent us if they can't create rules to guarantee our welfare?
Regulation doesn't mean socialism. Capitalism doesn't mean exploitation.
By 2010, after so many economical and political comings and goings, we should be able to realize and absorb a convenient truth: To oppose ideas that are complementary doesn't help us in the difficult and necessary task of (re)building a fair society, no matter if you're black or white, capitalist or socialist.
Marcelo Viera writes for The Daily Reveille at Louisiana State University.
Pro
BY JOSIE HO
FACEOFF: Valentine's Day
As Valentine's Day is approaching, I hear cries of discontent all around from my bachelor buddies. I see their disdain for chocolate and any gift with heart patterns.
However, for singles,
Valentine's Day is an excuse
to shut oneself in a room with
Ramen Noodles and depressing
Lifetime TV movies.
But, come on, it's not Doomsday yet! To couples, every day can be special. But, of course, Feb. 14 is the official day for sweetness and affection to overflow. I wish these happy pairs the best.
Call on friends and celebrate! Valentine's Day isn't a day only for "valentines," but for everyone. Go hug a friend and express love. Isn't that the real point, after all?
BY RACHEL SCHWARTZ
Hatred. Repulsion.
Avoidance. Those are the words that come to mind when I, and any other sane-minded human being,
think of Valentine's Day.
This day is a Hallmark holiday filled with heart-shaped boxes of chocolates and cheesy cards with lines such as "Be my Valentine" and "I just want you to know how much I love you."
While it's good to express feelings, especially love, why set aside one day to do that? If it has to be Valentine's Day to say incredibly love y words and affection with over-the-top actions, then why not just make Valentine's Day every day?
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