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Photo illustration by Adam Buhler
Use Darwin as your wingman: Evolutionary theory unlocks the secrets to attraction //ADAMVOSSEN
It doesn't hurt to flirt. Men and women may have different strategies when it comes to making the first move, but don't let it prevent you from being forward. Biology helps break down those mixed signals, giving you the best insight in snagging a significant other.
attraction is difficult to figure out. Why do we find ourselves bored and uninterested with the sweet and sensitive person but go chasing after the one who ignores
us and treats us like crap?
Proving that those little birds on the Galapagos Islands didn't tolerate Darwin in vain, attraction can be explained with evolutionary theory, says Madeleine Fugere, associate professor at Eastern Connecticut State University.
In preparation for her book, "The Social Psychology of Dating and Mating," Fugere researched attraction and its scientific implications. Evolutionary theory proposes that the unconscious goal of humans is to pass along genes. Men and women act on this unconscious goal differently, Fugere says.
Evolutionary theory states that a man's reproductive success is improved with a higher number of sexual partners. Women, on the other hand, look for a partner who would be able to take care of and support potential offspring.
This explains why there are so many mixed signals between the two genders. "Men have sexual motivation when they flirt," Fugère says. "Women have more of a focus on a relationship or having fun when they're flirting."
After a year of flirtation, Amanda Enncking, Lawrence senior, was able to snag her current boyfriend of more than a month.
Usually, the guy is expected to be aggressive, Enneking says, and most don't like the girl to pursue them. Enneking solved this problem by
using a system of "subtle aggression," which she believes many girls use. By arranging "coincidental meetings" and making sure they were both hanging out at the same place, Enneking patiently but intently waited for her boyfriend to get the hint.
"I was more aggressive because I got the sense that he wasn't as aggressive," she says.
A study entitled "Social-Sexual Interactions? Meta-Analyses of Sex Differences in Perceptions of Flirtinginess, Seductiveness, and Promiscuousness" published in September of 2009 proposed that if a first date is initiated by a woman, men tend to interpret this cue sexually.
According to the study, this misunderstanding is common. In flirtation, men can be more likely to perceive the interaction using a "social-sexual relational schema." This means men will usually think flirtation from a girl is a sign of sexual interest. "The goal for most guys is to take the girl home," says Blake Ward, Inman junior.
To initiate flirtation, Ward says men will try to increase their attractiveness to a girl. Men will try to portray themselves as the leader of their group to do this. Because women are looking for someone who will be able to support a family, a man who comes off as powerful or confident is more likely to fall into the family-man category.
It all comes back to hormones and biology. Fugère says. Fluctuation of hormone levels affects attraction for both men and women. There is some evidence that women dress differently, especially in more revealing ways, when they're ovulating. Fugère says. And men's levels of testosterone affect their aggressiveness, which can translate to being
more sexually aggressive. During these times of high hormones, men and women are more likely to be attracted to others.
Pheromones also play a role in attraction. Though many people think of pheromones as a noticeable smell, it's actually an unconscious reaction to a person's genetic code.
Evolutionary theory suggests that people are more strongly attracted to someone whose genetic code is different; if an offspring is created from two very different genetic codes, the child will carry immunities to more things and have a better chance at survival.
Conversely, people with similar ethnic, religious and political backgrounds are found to be more attractive.
"You know how they say birds of a feather flock together? That tends to be true." Fugère says.
So, is a chemistry set necessary when trying to find your next relationship, or even just for your next make out?
Both Ward and Erneking say they think a first impression can guide your judgment. Ability to communicate well and physical appearance top their lists as ways to judge attraction. This holds true even in science, Fugère says.
People who are perceived as physically attractive may actually have better genes, Fugère says. Facial symmetry is one of the most important perceptions of beauty, because our genes have programmed us to believe that a symmetrical face is the sign of healthy genes.
So forget the cologne or perfume and the pick-up line or push-up bra. Attraction is all science.
A FIRST IMPRESSION CAN MAKE OR BREAK A FLIRTATION
A first impression happens within milliseconds, and in those milliseconds a lot can be inferred about a person. Research shows those inferences are usually accurate.
The underlying processes of the first impression don't differ much between different sexual orientations, however homosexuals are slightly better at identifying other homosexuals. Fugère says.
Physical traits shape a first impression greatly. This includes posture and facial expression as well as facial symmetry.
A Facebook first impression will not serve the same purpose as an in-person interaction. Looking up someone's profile before a meeting could actually affect the real first impression.
When it comes to moving beyond first impressions and interpreting flirting, things can get complicated. The study published in Communication Monographs found that women's signals are misread more often than men's. According to the study, this confusion of signals is due to men's inability to decode women's cues of sexual interest or disinterest.
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