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Opinion
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
FRIDAY, JANUARY 29, 2010
To contribute to Free for All, visit Kansan.com or call (785) 864-0500.
I saw a zombie today.
How can you tell if you have an extra nipple? Does it count if it's in the wrong place?
I keep getting Facebook ads for pregnancy stuff, and I have to keep telling them that I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat.
--iPad: Finally, a pad for me
So, I totally gave her the awkward turtle. She never saw it coming.
--iPad: Finally, a pad for me
WWW.KANSAN.COM
Thank you, White House, for coming out with your own iPhone app. Not getting much done? There's an app for that.
There's a fine line between creeper and gentleman, and girls control the line.
Wanted: Fashion conscious female to help me (I'm a guy) take my wardrobe to the next level. Any interested ladies out there?
--iPad: Finally, a pad for me
I'm not sure whether or not to be concerned with the constant, dull pain in my right temple.
Thank you, rappers who wear flat-brimmed baseball hats, for making my "LEGO" man seem more "qanqsta."
I'm not religious. And, I think I might be a robot.
Does anyone else think the iPad sounds more like a feminine hygiene product than it does a computer?
So, global warming. I'm not saying I want you to drown all the polar bears, but my walk to class is really cold. Maybe step it up a notch?
I support boobs whenever I get the chance.
So does my bra.
--or
Yay! Gays in the military! Be free!
I think the University should hire this girl to play the piano at the Union.
Well you need to holla at me then. I'm a light chocolate man
The "Catch of the Week" is actually a pretty good catch. I'd date him
MARYAM SAIFAN
--or
EDITORIAL CARTOON
Sexually (inter)Active What is the purpose of "roles" in a sexual relationship?
Lets Talk about Sex
BY CAROLINE BLEDOWSKI
American novelist Edward Dahlbert once said, "What men desire is a virgin who is a whore." In other words, men want a woman who is both innocent and without sexual boundaries.
If procreation was the only reason to have sex, many of our problems wouldn't exist. This isn't the case. Rather, sex is often a play of power and desire. How much power we have and how much desire we fulfill depends on the role we play in sexual relationships. In order to satisfy both partners, their roles in bed have to be compatible.
Roles, both societal and sexual, have changed in the last century. Many women don't accept the obedient part anymore. Though the roles were clearer in the past, they are mixed today. We don't just decide on one role and play it; we want to decide when to play it and how.
And we want our partner to play along. Women often want a man who is both sensitive and forceful in a sexual way. Men often want women who show innocence, while also experience in their sexual behavior. These contradictions make it difficult to come to terms with a partner.
Some theorists argue that the biological roles of men and women are clearly different. They say men have the sexual power over women and she can do nothing but comply. According to author Stephen B. Clark, the increasing emancipation of women in the last few decades led to sexual confusion and physical impairments. Impotence is said to stem from an aggressive, dominant behavior of women.
While the roles we play today have become more complicated, it is worth making sense of it when the alternative is to go back a few centuries in human development.
Queerly Speaking
"Who's the man in the relationship?"
Bledowski is a graduate student from Cracow, Poland, in journalism.
BY LAUREN BORNSTEIN
I can't count the times I've been asked this question when people want to know about my sexual life. Really, what they should be asking is, "Who takes control?" They're confusing sex (our biological label) with sexual behavior, because clearly, in a sexual relationship between two women, there is no man.
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So, why, when interest is actually about who's in control, do we ask "who's the man?" Society associates dominance with men because we view penal penetration as a dominating act. Men are literally thrusting into something—the vagina. We use this to categorize all sexual acts, even though not every coupling is male-female. This demonstrates the male-dominant, heterosexual focus of our society. People forget that sexuality is not black and white. People aren't just straight or gay. There isn't always a "man and woman."
Why do sex roles matter when it comes to what we do in the bedroom? We have a hard time understanding gay sexuality because we are used to heterosexual imagery. All throughout the media, we see heterosexuality: Barbie has Ken. Meredith Grey has McDreamy. Burger King has Dairy Queen. You get my point; we are a heterosexual nation.
What's odd is we are always talking about America the "melting pot"—this wonderfully diverse nation—yet we seldom see minorities (especially gays) well-represented in any kind of media.
This lack of attention doesn't help dispel people's poor understanding of homosexuality and sex roles. By labeling sex roles as "the man" or "the woman," we limit our sexual abilities and imaginations to our anatomy. Sex is not defined by penetration. It is not defined by our biology. Sex is not about what you have, it's about what you do. And, believe me, you don't need a penis to make a woman happy.
Bornstein is a senior from Lawrence in women's studies.
Sex and Sensibility
BY MELISSA LYTTON
Gender roles are primarily vehicles for cultural information. We learn the nuances of each role from our parents and peers so that we know how to fit in. We expect women to smile a certain way when they are interested in a man, and we expect a certain kind of smile from the man in return. So, these roles are really more about assimilation than anything; when someone doesn't follow main-stream gender roles, they tend to stick out.
In America, we're used to thinking of gender as the male or female dichotomy, but it's actually more complicated than that.
There are some gay men whose sexual identity is apparent to everyone around them, but, with others, it's impossible to tell sexual orientation based on looks alone. There are even some straight men who fit into female behavioral patterns, who are often mistaken for being homosexual. We make these classifications based on behaviors traditionally associated with females.
Gender roles are different around the world. In Thailand, instead of viewing a person as moving from one gender to another, transsexuals are recognized as a third gender. The majority of countries do view gender as a dichotomy, but expected male and female behavior in Saudi Arabia is different than expected male and female behavior in Japan. Some countries are more egalitarian than others, some more patriarchal or matriarchal. Take into account each country's various subcultures, and the number of different gender roles is astounding. That's wonderful news for anyone who's ever felt uncomfortable with the role they were supposed to fit into, from the twelve-year-old tomboy to the fifty-year-old transvestite.
If gender roles are just cultural communication, then there's nothing wrong with an aggressive woman or a timid man. We're all just unique people who act in unique ways.
Lytton is a senior from Kodiak, Alaska, in creative writing.
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Comment, react or rant at Kansan.com
e-mail opinion editor Emily McCoy at emccoy@kansan.com.
ORGANIC HEALTH
Less glamorous side of beauty products
In high school, I didn't know much about the risks of
At first, I was excited. I loved projects, especially when they meant talking. However, my teacher made the topic very broad; we could present about anything that affected the environment.
I thought about the risks of everyday cosmetics and personal hygiene products. And I didn't really care to know; I just cared to use them—a lot. But that all changed in the fall of my senior year thanks to a project I completed for my ecology class.
I was stuck; there were too many options, and decision-making is not one of my strong points. Then I remembered how my mom had mentioned some soy candle project she was embarking on. I hadn't paid much attention to her when she first tried to explain, but I suddenly thought she might be onto something.
"This could be my ticket to an A+," I thought. So, in concentrating really hard, everything my mom said came flooding back to me: The chemicals and ingredients in regular scented products can have negative effects on the environment and people.
In the weeks that followed, I spent hours on the computer researching. I found a lot of negative statistics and information. I already knew some of the facts I found. For example, strong-scented perfumes can give some people headaches. I already knew that because after going to Victoria's Secret with my mom, she would always complain of the overwhelming odor of perfume.
But, I also found some information that was new to me. I learned that the chemicals in everyday scented products could be very dangerous or even life threatening. Besides just worsening asthma, the chemicals in these everyday products could actually cause asthma—or anemia or kidney damage.
The makeup, shampoo and lotions I used daily, my special
Organically Speaking
weekend perfume, and the cleaning supplies my mom had me clean my room with all contained petroleum derivatives. You know the petroleum we put in our cars? Well, I was essentially putting that all over my body, my hair and my dresser.
BY RACHEL SCHWARTZ
rschwartz@kansan.com
The chemicals found in many common "beauty" products actually pollute our bodies, the environment and the people around us. So after I found this out, I changed my lifestyle. No more "Sweet Pea" lotion or "Chanel No. 5" for me. I decided my health and the health of others was more important then attracting guys with my fierce scent.
After I had completed all my research and put together my fancy PowerPoint, I was ready to present to my class. I got mixed reactions from classmates. Some were shocked. Others already knew the risks and lived organic lifetyles. The rest just didn't care, as they continued to apply strong-scented, polluting lotions during my presentation.
I knew, much as I wanted to, I couldn't change everyone. But I knew I was going to change myself. Now, I purchase beauty products at organically friendly stores. Yes, some of these products do have scents, but the scents they contain are made from organic ingredients. So, instead of polluting my body with petroleum lotion, I am enriching my skin and healing my body—all while being safe for those around me.
Schwartz is a sophomore from Leawood in journalism.
Buzzwords What Kansan columnists have been talking about...
"In life, failure is not only an option; it's an inevitability" Alex Nichols, "I'm with 'Co-Co' Jan. 25.
"Allowing trans and natural-born women to participate in a beauty pageant together is the next logical step in accepting transsexuals as the beautiful women they are."
"As the bitter debates over health care and bailouts have shown, the country remains as divided as ever. It was too much to expect one man to unite a country that seems perpetually polarized."
Luke Brinker, "Obama deserves an objective progress report," Jan. 27.
Melissa Lytton, "Balance in pageantry", Jan. 26.
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THE EDITORIAL BOARD Members of the Kansan Editorial Board are Stephen Montemaray, Brianna Phentenstedt, James A. McNamara, Vicky Luk, Emily McCoy and Kate Larebrae