Opinion
THURSDAY, JANUARY 14, 2010
FREE FOR ALL
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--in, delicious holiday food and total disconnect from all things "academic," it can be hard getting going again. However, the fact that you've made it all the way to campus to pick up a copy of the Kansan shows you are already on the right track for a great semester!
How will the UDK put an entire month worth of stories into two folding pages?
--in, delicious holiday food and total disconnect from all things "academic," it can be hard getting going again. However, the fact that you've made it all the way to campus to pick up a copy of the Kansan shows you are already on the right track for a great semester!
Hey Lawrence, I'm back! Glad to be at my home away from home
Hey Lawrence, I'm...oh wait,
I never left.
--in, delicious holiday food and total disconnect from all things "academic," it can be hard getting going again. However, the fact that you've made it all the way to campus to pick up a copy of the Kansan shows you are already on the right track for a great semester!
After six weeks of looking, my brother finally got a job at an unemployment office.
Man vs. Food -where would he go in Lawrence?
--in, delicious holiday food and total disconnect from all things "academic," it can be hard getting going again. However, the fact that you've made it all the way to campus to pick up a copy of the Kansan shows you are already on the right track for a great semester!
--in, delicious holiday food and total disconnect from all things "academic," it can be hard getting going again. However, the fact that you've made it all the way to campus to pick up a copy of the Kansan shows you are already on the right track for a great semester!
The Gorilla Challenge at Wheat State. Have to eat a 24-inch pizza under an hour.
--in, delicious holiday food and total disconnect from all things "academic," it can be hard getting going again. However, the fact that you've made it all the way to campus to pick up a copy of the Kansan shows you are already on the right track for a great semester!
Seeing an ex-coworker's round belly, I was about to congratulate her pregnancy. Then all her pictures have her drinking, so I am going to play
--in, delicious holiday food and total disconnect from all things "academic," it can be hard getting going again. However, the fact that you've made it all the way to campus to pick up a copy of the Kansan shows you are already on the right track for a great semester!
Darn you, "American Idol." You sucked me in again.
--in, delicious holiday food and total disconnect from all things "academic," it can be hard getting going again. However, the fact that you've made it all the way to campus to pick up a copy of the Kansan shows you are already on the right track for a great semester!
I eat way too much deli meat on my sandwiches. I am quitting cold turkey.
--in, delicious holiday food and total disconnect from all things "academic," it can be hard getting going again. However, the fact that you've made it all the way to campus to pick up a copy of the Kansan shows you are already on the right track for a great semester!
You guys better hope I'm not your GTA!
--in, delicious holiday food and total disconnect from all things "academic," it can be hard getting going again. However, the fact that you've made it all the way to campus to pick up a copy of the Kansan shows you are already on the right track for a great semester!
How is possible for a guy not to want sex?
--in, delicious holiday food and total disconnect from all things "academic," it can be hard getting going again. However, the fact that you've made it all the way to campus to pick up a copy of the Kansan shows you are already on the right track for a great semester!
I begin to think the girls who complain about guys just wanting sex are either very easy or they're just not getting
--in, delicious holiday food and total disconnect from all things "academic," it can be hard getting going again. However, the fact that you've made it all the way to campus to pick up a copy of the Kansan shows you are already on the right track for a great semester!
Now that I'm dating a freshman guy, does that make me a cougar?
--in, delicious holiday food and total disconnect from all things "academic," it can be hard getting going again. However, the fact that you've made it all the way to campus to pick up a copy of the Kansan shows you are already on the right track for a great semester!
True Life: My boyfriend is the biggest douche ever.
--in, delicious holiday food and total disconnect from all things "academic," it can be hard getting going again. However, the fact that you've made it all the way to campus to pick up a copy of the Kansan shows you are already on the right track for a great semester!
I just ate a pound of bacon. I think I'm going to die.
Oh god, I just found out that the bacon was expired, too.
--in, delicious holiday food and total disconnect from all things "academic," it can be hard getting going again. However, the fact that you've made it all the way to campus to pick up a copy of the Kansan shows you are already on the right track for a great semester!
--in, delicious holiday food and total disconnect from all things "academic," it can be hard getting going again. However, the fact that you've made it all the way to campus to pick up a copy of the Kansan shows you are already on the right track for a great semester!
I'm as legitimate as the Constitution.
I want to move to Canada.
Oh. Canada!
--in, delicious holiday food and total disconnect from all things "academic," it can be hard getting going again. However, the fact that you've made it all the way to campus to pick up a copy of the Kansan shows you are already on the right track for a great semester!
--in, delicious holiday food and total disconnect from all things "academic," it can be hard getting going again. However, the fact that you've made it all the way to campus to pick up a copy of the Kansan shows you are already on the right track for a great semester!
Here's my "ear tug" to you.
This should be the first post in the FFA. (Editor's note: We made it the last on purpose.)
--in, delicious holiday food and total disconnect from all things "academic," it can be hard getting going again. However, the fact that you've made it all the way to campus to pick up a copy of the Kansan shows you are already on the right track for a great semester!
Lots to look forward to in the spring semester
EDITORIAL BOARD
Weston White/KANSAN FILE PHOTO
W welcome back! After a few weeks of morning sleeping
This year there is a lot to look forward to: blizzard-like conditions, walking up the hill to class, digging cars out of snow... OK, those may not be the highlights. But seriously, as Jayhawks we have a lot of good things going for us this semester.
1. Men's basketball season. Despite the heartbreaking Tennessee game, the men's basketball team is on fire and is sure to continue to show us a great season.
2. Snow days. If we have more snow (which is pretty much certain), there is always the possibility of a snow day. Even if we aren't blessed with one, sledding at the Campanile is always a blast.
3. Free For All is back. We know you just as excited as we
are, but we hope it's not the only reason you read our section.
4. Spring. Although it's months away, we always have it to look forward to.
Most of all, we on the editorial board look forward to making some exciting changes this semester. We have a great blend of fresh-faces and battle-proven columnists ready to tackle some controversial issues such as women's rights, health care, the economy and the best method of "getting your swagger on." Also, the editorial writers will be offering insightful
views on issues that truly affect the community.
This paper is produced for you. We invite any and all ideas, suggestions and criticisms that you may have for us. We want feedback. Please e-mail us at opinion@ kansan.com.
Again, good luck on the upcoming semester, we hope to hear from you soon...we know we aren't the only people at KU with opinions!
- From the Kansan Editorial Board
EDITORIAL CARTOON
NICHOLAS SAMBALUK
HUMOR
An insider's tips on swagger
PAGE 7A
While doing my daily Google News search for Canadian teen idol
"I have a swagger coach that helps me and teaches me different swaggeric things to do," Bieber said last month in the Kansas City Star.
Ogle News search for Canadian teen idol Justin Bieber, I came across a curious piece of news: Bieber, a singer who is apparently part of Usher's crew, attributes his success to a "swagger coach."
Little known fact, but in addition to being a veteran semi-professional newspaper columnist, I'm a world-renowned swagger sensei. Before coming to KU, I studied swagology at Brown - let me finish - Mackie College. I have a wealth of knowledge in the field of swagger and its three disciplines: stylin', stayin' cool and droppin' the "a".
Normally, one would have to take one of my high-priced swagger workshops, attend one of my ultra-popular swagger seminars or buy one of my best-selling swagger books, such as "Getcha Swag On" or "Getcha Swag On 2: Haters to the Left." But, today, I'm going to let you, the reader, in on some of the most sacred of swagger secrets. That's right, for the first time ever.
Needless to say, I was very surprised. No, not by the concept of a "swagger coach." I was simply surprised Bieber didn't hire me.
BY ALEX NICHOLS
here in this very newspaper, I'm going to share some exclusive tips that will help you become coolest kid on the hill. Heed them well, and the riches, fame and popularity will surely follow.
1. Walk (or skip or gallop) with confidence. Most people have a very specific idea of what a swaggerful strut looks like: cocky, chin up, perhaps one hand in a pocket. Simply copying that doesn't mean you've got swagger; in fact, it means you're unoriginal. No matter how you travel on foot, what matters is self-assurance. Mosey with style. Gambol with attitude. Crabwalk like a movie star. People will think you are one. Nothing says swagger like a confident frolic.
2. When it comes to socks, stick with the classics: White's all right.
Swagger is built from the bottom up, so footwear is key. Some people end up paying upward of $1,000 for the most ostentatious socks they can find. That's so not swaggy. Stick with the simplicity of white.
regular-length socks. Your feet will stay warm, and you'll make it look effortless. Nothing's worse than looking like you're trying too hard. Which brings me to my next tip.
3. Don't try at all. Swagger is all about seeming like you don't even care. The easiest way to accomplish the appearance of apathy is to not try to do anything, in any situation, ever. For example, let's say you're parking your car, and you end up with your tire clearly over the line. You may feel the need to correct this. Resist this urge. Simply get out of your car and (confidently) walk away. Swagger achieved.
4. Auto-tune. All the coolest pop stars use Auto-tune to infuse their songs with swagger. And why not? Auto-tune makes you sound like a robot, and robots are the most swaggerful things on earth. They're cool, calm and collected. And cold. And emotionless. The ladies dig it! All you have to do is Auto-Tune everything you say, and success will follow. Bank on it.
There you have it: four ways to immediately improve your swagger status. It will set you on the right track, but if you really want to be all you can be, hire a coach. And I think you know by now who the best choice is. (It's me.)
Nichols is a Stilwell junior in creative writing.
LGBT ISSUES
New year means new resolutions
Welcome to the New Year. Let's make it good. I can't wait to
see the strides we make for gay rights in 2010,but first,let's look at some resolutions anyone can make!
2. Put down the cigarettes. According to studies from the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, LGBT people are 40-70% more likely to smoke than non-LGBT. Even more alarming? In a recent national study of youth 18-24, 45% of females and 35% of males reporting same-sex attraction smoke cigarettes. That's in comparison to the 29% of U.S. youth. Quitting is hard, but it's one of the best things you can do for your health. You don't need me to tell you that — the facts are everywhere.
1. Come out. This may not apply to everyone, but as I wrote last semester, visibility matters. There are millions of people around the globe who feel as if they are alone in homosexuality. Knowing this isn't the case will change their world and ours. Not to mention we can't stop ignorance and homophobia if we stay in the closet. After all, nobody likes the cramped feeling of the closet. Free yourself. It's so much better where the air is clear.
3. Meet someone new. This goes without saying and not just for the gay community. Holla at all my single ladies (and gents.) What's the harm in creating a list of all the good traits you want in someone and putting it out there? Nobody wants to be lonely. With this nasty winter spell we're having, a warm body certainly keeps the chill out. So put yourself out there! Still, you don't have to settle right away or fall for the first person that flashes you a smile.
4. Fight for gay rights. Is your state or town currently battling a gay marriage ban? What about legislation that forbids protection of homosexuals or gender
BY LAUREN BORNSTEIN
identity? Maybe you want to bring more awareness to the world. There's no better time than the present. Sitting around and listening for someone else to take action is useless when you could be doing it at this moment. Being willing to fight for your rights can and will inspire others to do the same. It doesn't just do you a favor; it does the community and our world a favor. We all deserve to be equal.
5. Work on relationships and friendships. Nurture the relationships you have. Especially in the gay community, friends are often closer than family. Show your love and respect and let the people you love know how much you care. Even if it's as simple as a hug or grand as cooking a gourmet meal, show it. Look past the flaws and treasure loved ones for the good they've brought out in you. Who doesn't appreciate love and support? Good deeds come full circle.
Even if these resolutions aren't for you, make and stick to goals that bring out the best in you and add to the happiness of others. As for me? I'm already doing numbers two and four; being out, proud and writing about the LGBT community is my way of changing the world and myself.
Here's wishing you the best on a new year and a new you.
Bornstein is a Lawrence senior in sociology and women's studies.
Recycling. Do you do it?
BLOG: BEER FOR BREAKFAST
"How can you be against recy cling?" some of you may ask.
recycling. Do you do it?
I have been reading on the Fark.com a blog about recycling,
and there are people for it and people against it.
There are two major arguments here. First, recycling is simply often not efficient. The exception is aluminum; unlike glass and cardboard, there is a lot of waste involved in refining aluminum that comes from the ground (ore) and that can be circumvented by getting it back from cans.
This is why the homeless people often carry a trash bags filled with soda and beer cans; the collection can be traded for money and still save the can manufacturer by using recycled aluminum.
The second argument is somewhat nebulous; recycling doesn't help. Even with the first argument aside, recycling simply leaves more resources to be exploited, and the exploitation expands to
make the sum total consumption the same.
The argument I saw was an analogy to water use in the south west. Apparently they grow corn there using irrigation techniques. They also have enormous pools and lush golf courses. The reason they have those is that they are abusing the hell out of some river or another, when the golf course is really not necessary and other, better-suited crops could be grown.
I don't really recycle. I'm too lazy to do so. My aluminum can use is pretty low, except at work where I do toss them in the recycling bin, because it's just as close as the trash can. About the only thing that interests me about recycling is that not doing so can lead to landfill mining, which sounds very exciting and manly.
Anthony Whaley is a Manhattan senior majoring in linguistics.
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THE EDITORIAL BOARD
THE EDITORIAL BOARD
Members of the Kansan Editorial Board are
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