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kansas in heat (print edition) // PIMPING YOUR PAD
Relationship researcher Mike Anderson tackles the sticky world of relationship advice, one weekly Jayplay column at a time
Mike Anderson, Dellwood, Minn., graduate student, is the host of Kansas in Heat, a talk show about sex and relationships that airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. on KJHK, 90.7fm and at kjhk.org.
*THE OPINIONS OF THIS COLUMNIST DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THE VIEWS OF JAYPLAY. KANSAS IN HEAT IS NOT TO BE CONSIDERED AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL HELP.
Q: What can I do to improve my apartment to make it into more of a "love nests" so to speak?
A: Well, if you are looking to seduce someone, the atmosphere that you create is certainly a vital part. By appealing to all five senses you can place anyone in a comfortable setting that will not only help with building rapport, but also help with impression management.
In an earlier article I talked about the importance of music as a way to set the mood and slow the evening down. In this article I want to answer your question by talking about how one can appeal to the other four senses. Here are some tips I recommend for setting the mood in your pad.
1) Pay attention to the temperature of your place. Most people will not associate intimacy and romance with a cold environment. If you are looking to move the night to more intimate activities, then make sure your home is plenty warm. You never want someone to be cold if they are wearing little to no clothing. Nothing kills the mood like being too cold or way too hot.
2) Use the correct scents. If you are looking to increase your sexual performance, then I recommend using lavender- or pumpkin-pie-scented candles. A study on scents showed that these scents increase blood flow to the genitals. But whatever scent you choose, make sure it is very appealing and not too strong. This is also why I enjoy the scent of lavender. I recommend picking up some lavender fabric spray.
3) Lighting — I cannot stress enough how important lighting is. Get rid of any lighting that is too bright. Make sure that you have a dimmer or that you use very sensual mood lighting. I am also a big believer in stringing lights up in strategic locations. I think that stringing up some blue lights (in a bedroom, not living room) can really set the mood.
4) Have some light foods that show off your sophisticated tastes. I recommend having some strawberries and chocolate handy at all times. If you are having champagne, the strawberries will enhance the flavor. Plus I think they are a sensual food. Chocolate is great for many reasons. It has been shown to help with your libido, and it can be used in many ways as a sexual tool. Picking up
some exotic chocolates that are specially made or are from another country will give you something more to talk about and enjoy during your intimate conversations.
I think the biggest factor that you need to remember revolves around being consistent. The music should match the lighting, which matches the scents, which match the design and layout of your apartment. Appealing to the five senses includes putting it all together — every inch of your place. You want to create a consistent comfortable and trustworthy mood that speaks to the impression that you want to give. There are a lot more variables to pulling off the perfect pad, but I think the ones mentioned above will give you a strong foundation on which to start.
Here's to happy orgasms.
If you have a question you'd answer in the Kansas in Heat print edition, please e-mail it to kansasinheat@yahoo.com.
// MIKE ANDERSON