John Colbert
for Student Senate — Is he serious?
An engineering student running as an independent, Colbert has a platform that makes you wonder.
Story by Dave Morantz Photos by Geoff Krieger
student Senate elections are less than a month away. Candidates will soon set up shop along sidewalks, hand out fliers and grovel for votes. If we're lucky, they might even discuss pertinent campus issues.
But who really cares about campus recycling, city-wide transportation and student fees? Why don't the candidates shed their stuffy auras, stop dressing like poster children for the Republican Party and admit that what this campus really needs is a water slide complex?
That's what John Colbert, Lenexa junior and candidate for an engineering seat, wants to know. Colbert aims to turn Student Senate upside down. Colbert wants to construct a monorail system on campus, require all student senators to wear clown suits, and yes, construct a water slide complex on West Campus with student fees.
Colbert doesn't worry about what other candidates think.
"If you think your positions are better than mine, then we'll put them up to a vote." he said.
Platform
Where John Colbert stands:
Opposes student rec center.
slide complex on West Campus financed by increased student fees
Supports bill requiring all student senators to wear clown suits to all official functions.
Supports a bill that would replace current bus system with mule-drawn cars.
John Colbert, Lenexa junior, is diving into a Student Senate campaign...literally. One of Colbert's issues is to place a water slide in the middle of campus.
- Opposes KU Student Senate.
- Supports a monorail system that would link the West Campus, Daisy Hill and the main campus.
Supports phone-in registration handled by the Psychic Friends Network.
Supports the abolition of Student Senate and the creation of a Student Monarchy.
Source: John Colbert campaign flyer
Colbert campaigned unsuccessfully for Student Senate last year on many of the same issues. He fell short of winning an engineering seat by about 30 votes.
JOHN COLBERT INDEPENDENT Engineering Candidate for KU Student Senate
"After the election, I see all these people at parties, and they'd say, 'Oh man, I wanted to vote for you. Did you win?' If a few more of those people had voted, Senate might be a bit different," he said.
As of yesterday, neither coalition had submitted its candidates' campaign declarations, so Colbert's opposition for the engineering seat is unknown. The deadline for coalitions to submit their packets to Chad Perlov, elections commissioner, is tomorrow.
Colbert certainly stands apart from other candidates. While most candidates debate placing a parking garage north of the Kansas Union, Colbert proposes a simple solution: build a parking garage on the Hill. Just plop it down right below the Campanile. Doing so would benefit the Athletic Department as well as the parking department.
"It would once and for all put an end to anyone who ever wanted to see a football game for free again," he said.
Building a monorail system to connect the main campus with new parking lots on West Campus would also help the parking problem.
"I know there's a lot of houses in the way, but we can just buldoze the whole residential neighborhood," he said. "It'd be just like Disney World. We could even have Mickey Mouse waving to people."
The idea for a water slide complex came from the recent debate about a student recreation center. Colbert said that the University's concern about keeping pace with peer institutions fueled the entire debate.
"Why should we worry about just keeping up with the Joneses? Let's go one further. Student fees are our money; let's have some fun with it," he said.
Despite his outlandish plans, Colbert is serious about winning. He
plans to spend $400 on this spring's campaign and has even set up a page on the World Wide Web at
www.engr.ukans.edu/~jshaft Colbert said he became interested in running for Senate when a friend at Kansas State University ran a mock campaign. He originally wanted to run for president, but said that obstacles such as petition requirements and exorbitant filing fees kept him from running for the top office.
Neil Hague, engineering senator, said that despite
Qualifications
John Colbert's qualifications:
He has never been convicted of a felony.
He was in the bottom half of his high school graduating class.
He has a bad haircut.
He doesn't care about Student Senate.
He's on Prozac.
He doesn't even know what Student Senate does.
Source: John Colbert campaign flyer
Colbert's attitude toward Senate, a diverse group people needed to run for Senate.
"It's great for as many people to run as possible," he said. "But when you're running as an independent, it's harder to get your message out."
Colbert's unorthodox attitude toward Student Senate results from a belief he claims many other students share. He said Senate did a better job of providing greeks a social scene and resume padding than representing students' views.
Where John Stands
Colbert faces an uphill challenge. As an independent running for Senate, he will have to battle coalition candidates who often have more funds and resources than independents. Many candidates form coalitions to pool money and spread campaigning tasks among its members. Presidential candidates often invite people to run with a coalition.
"If I'm elected, I won't have any hesitations about introducing some of this legislation," he said of proposals such as the water slide complex. "I've seen more amusing bills passed in Senate."
"Sometimes in campaigns that aren't dominated by issues, the style or ads are the big difference. You have to do something to distinguish yourself," Cigler said. "I'm not endorsing the strategy, but it appears to be a campaign where he's trying to point out that the system doesn't work very well."
Despite Colbert's practical, hardnosed plans, he was not invited to run with a coalition.
Requiring senators to wear clown suits would add to the amusement.
"All these people have to come before Senate and jump through hoops to receive money," he said. "Why not make them feel comfortable and make the senators dress like clowns?"
Allan Cigler, professor of political science, said Colbert's campaign might positively impact the elections by increasing voter turnout. In the last five years, an average of only 16 percent of the student body has voted in Senate elections.
"All candidates seem to be the same," he said. "I'm the excitement."
So exciting that Colbert feels Student Senate tried to prevent him from running in this spring's election. Last fall, Senate passed a campaign reform bill. The original draft of the bill contained a provision stating that all campaigning was expected to be done in a mature, professional and legitimate manner. Although the provision was excluded from the final bill, Colbert felt the Senate wrote the provision with his nearly successful campaign from the previous year in mind.
Campaign financing also concerns Colbert. The Student Sen-
election code states that all independent candidates and coalitions must set a voluntary spending limit. Colbert spent $220 last year on his campaign and said the coffers ran dry in the last few days.
This year, he plans to spend $400, almost twice the amount recommended by Elections Commissioner Chad Perlov. Colbert unabashedly admits spending his father's money.
"A lot of people just go crying to daddy for campaign money," he said. "I'll just admit that at least 50 percent of my funds come from Daddy."
A campaign flier pictures former presidential candidate Steven Forbes saying, "John certainly is willing to spend enough of his daddy's money. A true protege."
Colbert is also concerned that his campaign spending will be watched more closely than the coalitions' spending.
"I don't know how honest coalitions are in spending. But in a campaign like mine where you step on peoples' toes, you've got to follow the letter of the law," he said.
Reasons
The reasons the John Colbert campaign believes that you should vote for him:
He has spent more money than all of the other candidates.
You're not just voting for John but against Student Senate.
It would be a mighty blow to his self-esteem if he loses.
It's obvious that he has a lot of spare time on his hands.
Student Senate Elections
Source: John Colbert campaign flyer
Please fill in each circle completely
O Hill Topics
O University Daily Kansan
O March 10, 1997
O Page 10A
Colbert has an unusual set of qualifications for the senate seat he's running for, including the fact that he doesn't know what Student Senate does.
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