Short Takes & Updates
FACE IT — I'M OLDER AND I'VE GOT MORE INSURANCE: TALLAHASSEE, FLA.
— The parking situation at Florida State U. got a little hairy this summer, when a fed-up professor was charged with ramming his car into a student's vehicle.
According to FSU police, business management professor Paul Wilkens, 51, crashed his Pontiac Grand Am into a 23-year-old student's Nissan after the student pulled into a faculty space the professor wanted.
Wilkens asked the student to move his car, police say, but the student responded that he "didn't care" and wasn't moving. Then, the professor allegedly rammed the student's car from behind, pulled around the front and rammed it again.
Wilkens denies he rammed the student's car. "There was no ramming that took place," he says. He has hired a lawyer and expects to reach an agreement with the court.
No damage was done to either car, but Wilkens was given a traffic citation for reckless driving.
I'M BEING REPRESSED: BERKELEY, CALIF. — It seems that Berkeley, Calif., is pretty damn tired of looking at the bare backside of Andrew Martinez, a.k.a. the Naked Guy [U. Magazine, Jan./Feb. 1993]. Martinez, a former student at the U. of California, Berkeley, was arrested Aug. 27 for violating the city's new antinuity law.
City Council members passed the ordinance in response to Martinez's nation-wide fame for attending class in the buff, wearing only a backpack and sandals.
Arrested after walking on the Berkeley campus nude, Martinez reportedly shouted, "I'm a victim! I'm a victim!" as he was being taken away.
He was expelled from Berkeley after the school enacted a dress code prohibiting nudity.
DOWN AND OUT IN BEVERLY HILLS:
LOS ANGELES — Brenda Walsh: misunderstood sex goddess, or the biggest bitch on prime time?
Fans of Beverly Hills, 90210 now have several handy reference materials to help them decide.
The Beverly Hills, 90210 Guide, to be released this month by New King Publishing, devotes a whole chapter to Brenda and even includes a section titled, "Why Hate Brenda?"
Also aiding in the decision-making process is Rump's eclectic album Hating Brenda, released in August. The CD features songs like the Nirvana-inspired "#1 Alternative College Radio Grunge Hit (Stinks Like Teen Brenda)."
Open letter to Rump: Get a real job. Now. Love, everyone.
Briefs compiled from the U. network:
Lost a limb? Try calling lost and found
Lost and found offices are like cracks in the university couch, where an odd assortment of valuables accumulate. Under one cushion you might find the expected umbrellas, sunglasses and key chains — under the next, personal effects bordering on the bizarre.
Take the lost and found office at The Ohio State U. In recent years, the OSU lost and found has received such items as an artificial arm and a glass eye. Strangely enough, neither was ever claimed.
Losing an artificial arm may be careless, but someone got even sloppier at the U. of Alaska, Fairbanks. Employee Dave Cox once received a tape recorder that had a tape of a drug deal inside.
Is any of this stuff yours? If so, call The Ohio State U.
"It sounded like the woman on the tape was a snitch," Cox says. The tape was turned over to security.
Cox says cash and valuables often
MARK GSEILMAN. THE LANFERN THE OHIO STATE U.
turn up as well. He once turned in $200 he found in a toilet. And at Brown U., police Sgt. Steve St. Jean safely returned a $5,000 necklace and $750 in lost tuition money.
For St. Jean, finding and returning belongings is a moral imperative. His own wedding band was once turned in to a lost and found. Now he enjoys returning the favor.
But it isn't as easy for everyone to give back cold, hard cash. Once at the U. of Oregon, an apparent good Samaritan brought in $100 in a wallet, only to suffer a crisis in conscience and return an additional $100 several days later.
Lost and founds generally hold items between a month and six months before donating them to charity or auctioning them to
raise funds. Hmmm... how much do they get for an artificial arm these days, anyway? David Field, Daily Evergreen, Washington State U.
Students wade through a soggy start in the Midwest
Normally, the Iowa River is a gentle waterway that cuts through the U. of Iowa campus, dividing the university in two as it flows to the Mississippi.
Last summer wasn't normal, though.
Fed by a winter of excess snow and months of record rains, the river swelled into a monster, and by the time the flood waters receded, more than 800 students had been displaced, summer graduation had been cancelled and more than $4.5 million in school property had been devoured. And it's not over yet.
"It does hurt to see people left with nothing at all," UI senior Phil Berger, says. "It's not something you can control — it's a natural event. We're helpless in controlling it."
Iowa was not the only school affected by the rising rivers, however. Floodwaters inundated colleges across the Midwest.
Here's how other campuses hit hardest by the murky waters dealt with the situation:
- Iowa State U., Ames, Iowa: Flooding caused an estimated $7.7 million in damage to the university's east side. Hardest hit was Hilton Coliseum, where flash flooding filled the basketball arena with more than 15 feet of water.
ISU senior Cara Teas says this summer's flooding was bad, but it could have been worse: "I lost all my books and notes and things. But then you look at all the people that lost their homes, their cars and even their lives, and my problems don't seem so bad."
Kansas State U., Manhattan, Kan.: Although no campus buildings were hit, flooding inundated other parts of the city, displacing students and faculty. The university set up housing for some of the flood victims, including many townspeople. The flooding also caused a housing crunch when students returned in the fall.
"All the apartments are gone," KSU senior Jarad Savage
VARIANT GUTTENFEELDER THE CALFY OWAN U OF OMA
Even the dinosaurs were up to their necks in water in Iowa last summer.
says. "It took me over two weeks of constant calling just to get a room.I had to miss my first week of classes."
- Lincoln U., Jefferson, Mo.: Water surrounded the school for almost two weeks, making access to summer classes difficult.
- "It was just a pain in the butt,but you just did what you had to do," Lincoln sophomore Todd Heflin says.
- Drake U., Des Moines, Iowa: Flooding knocked out Des Moines' water supply for almost two weeks, forcing Drake officials to close the school for a day.
Classes had to be relocated because the campus lacked air conditioning, and many students had to be housed at nearby Simpson College in Indianola, Iowa, a 20-minute commute.
"There's something about standing in line with the dean of the law college to go to the porta-potty that's really leveling," recalls Alan Cubbage, marketing director for Drake. "It made for one hell of a summer." Jon Yates, The Daily Iowan, U. of Iowa
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U.Magazine
OCTOBER 1993