OPINION
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
PUBLISHED DAILY SINCE 1912
CRAIG LANG, Editor
SUSANNA LOOP, Managing editor
KIMBERLY CRABTREE, Editorial editor
TOM EBLEN, General manager, news advisor
MARK OZIMEM, Business manager
DENNIS HAUPT, Retail sales manager
JUSTIN KNUPE, Technology coordinator
JA YSTENER, Sales and marketing adviser
Friday, January 24, 1997
Amy R. Miller / KANSAN
Editorials
Residence halls must take steps to ensure, rebuild students' faith
With no apparent help from others, one person managed to commit several acts of vandalism and theft at McColum Hall. As a desk assistant at the hall, Steven Hipp obtained master keys and gained access to others' rooms and their property.
Although student housing changed McCollum's locks, this action might not have been enough.
Ken Stoner, director of student housing, said new locks were the only security change since the crimes in McColum. This certainly neutralizes the threat of someone using stolen keys to open the old locks, but it doesn't solve the larger problem.
Gestures like changing the locks in one dorm are hardly more than a stopgap measure. The bigger issue in the McCollum incident is not a problem with the locks, keys, or other physical
Student housing should find ways to hire only trustworthy people.
hardware in the hall, but rather one of personnel. The failure in the system of security lies with an individual who did not resist the temptation to take advantage of a situation.
In order to solve this problem and take a step towards regaining the trust of McCollum and other resident hall students, student housing must find a way to ensure that only trustworthy, stable people serve as watchers of the dorm. This is the only way that the problem can be alleviated. Until such action is taken, tensions and fears will continue to run high about dorm security not only over breaks but during
classes and weekends.
Individuals like Hipp should not be allowed to take advantage of their positions. More precautions must be taken to assure that this will not happen again. Trust in residence hall security is a big factor in many students' choice to live on campus. McCollum's incident shakes many students' faith in campus security.
However, this high-profile incident seems to be isolated. Stoner said no other incidents had occurred in any other residence halls.
In any case, steps such as background searches on applicants should be taken to ensure safety of students and their possessions.
Until certain measures are taken, students in residence halls may not trust and rely on those assigned to watch their belongings.
GERRY DOLE FOR THE EDITORIAL BOARD
Inauguration was too extravagant
In his inaugural speech, President Clinton said that America needed a government that is smaller, lives more within its needs and does more with less.
Most Americans agree with this and will look for the president to fulfill this need during the next four years. However, Monday's presidential inauguration is indicative of what government will become, then Clinton is hiding his extravagant hypocrisy behind a facade of frugality.
According The Kansas City Star, the presidential inauguration committee spent about $30 million on Clinton's second inauguration. Four years ago, Clinton's inaugural bill was $32 million. Why is much money spent on the superfluous festivities of the presidential inauguration?
Committee representative David Seldin told the Star."President Clinton
Clinton's speech was marred by lavish inaugural activities.
Those of us not in attendance at the inauguration had the opportunity to witness it on television. The Star reported that CBS spent $3 million to broadcast the presidential gala. But if most of the money to finance the inauguration comes from private donors and businesses, who cares how much it cost?
has a strong belief that this (inauguration) should include large events for all people to participate in."
is viewed by some as being obsequious to his elitist contributors. Are the powers of the people's government going to succumb to the demands of wealthy Clinton political supporters and contributors who paid up to $3,000 for a ticket to the presidential gala? Clinton should have reaffirmed his intentions for a better government by not wasting money.
The presidential inauguration has been held 53 times. The Constitution defines the presidential inauguration as the peaceful transfer of power from one president to the next. But the history of this transfer of power had never approached the extravagance of the last inauguration. Clinton portrays an image of a big spender while hypocritically proclaiming the need for a smaller government.
The answer to this is simple. The joukying for political favor by wealthy political contributors has portrayed a distrustful image of President Clinton to the American public. The president
The American people were not impressed, Mr. President.
NICK ZALLER FOR THE EDITORIAL BOARD
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Winter break is finished, and as I return to the drudgery of the spring semester, I want to take a moment to reflect on my winter break. Now that I am back in Lawrence, I can start my vacation from my vacation — one that doesn't include my family.
Columns
I can't speak for the masses, but I hope that I'm not alone in my version of Dante's Inferno that I endure every December.
When Christmas rolls around, I return to North Carolina to see my family. I used to go home for every holiday, but after many painful years, I have narrowed visitation exclusively to Christmas.
Family holidays can test the ties that bind
When I visit my extended family, I wonder how I managed to become a relatively normal person with the majority of my brain intact.
Every year, I make the same observation: If family makes
us who we are, then I'm scared to death:
This past Christmas I went back to Durham, N.C. to visit my grandparents. I arrived at their house for my mandatory six fun-filled days at Club Boredom.
Don't get me wrong, I love my grandparents. But I was less than excited at the prospect of spending six days with people who love Rush Limbaugh and who own books like How to Boost Your Church Attendance and The Bible from A to Z.
And as expected, after two days and one too many afternoons of playing "Guess Who Died," I was ready to hang myself by the multi-colored blinking Christmas lights wrapped around the artificial tree originally purchased in 1962.
During this quality time, I was frequently subjected to advice from Ann Landers via my grandmother and forced to watch reruns of The Lawrence Walk Show.
when D-day finally arrives, my grandfather is usually the one who kicks off the annual Christmas Day feast. He mumbles the same prayer while sitting around the same table, and we eat the same food with the same people who have the same conversations.
It's like someone took Christmas from 1978 and has recycled it year after year.
Although I'm not one to complain about free food, I do have one recurring gripe with the Christmas Day menu. Every year the ominous pink ambrosia salad shows up with suspended fruit and marshmallows staring at you from the table.
My theory is that the ambrosia will continue to show up until some brave soul actually eats it or it disintegrates from old age.
For those who have never experienced ambrosia salad, it tastes like a giant scoop of Cool Whip with whipped cream on top. While you try to chew the concoction, you discover a piece of fruit that was probably a banana at one time.
But grandma's cooking aside, family visits allow us to see where we came from. And for some, they are a reminder of why we left.
It's moments like those when I say a silent word of thanks that my parents experienced the 1960s and rejected the method of parenting to which they were subjected.
When I return from these visits, I always have new grounds on which to base my own neuroses. And, as I said, it's a miracle that I'm a relatively stable, functioning member of society — I bet I could even hold down a job at the post office.
But as the saying goes, you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family. Even if I could, I would never trade them in. Because no matter how crazy and screwed up they seem — they're mine.
Ashlee Roll is a Raleigh, N.C. senior in journalism
Singled Out fascination spotlights superficiality
If Singled Out is any indication of our generation's capability to run the country, the question of boxers vs. briefs will soon overshadow such trifles as health care and the budget.
"let's get rid of briefs, Chris. I can't have my president wearing tighte-tiwhites."
That's right. Just like on Singled Out, Americans eventually will be considering chest size and firmness of one's rump as guidelines for all major elections.
For the fortunate few who are not familiar with Singled Out, it is an MTV dating show on which contestants choose their mates out of a field of 50, narrowing down the pool by eliminating undesirable physical characteristics.
Jenny McCarthy bounces around the set and lets the guys slobber on her. The host, Chris Hardwick, who thinks he is Christian Slater, also slobbers on Jenny whenever possible.
the truth is, of course, that Singled Out has nothing to do with our country's political future. Except for that "Choose or Lose" bus and the fact that Tabitha Soren thinks she's a real newswoman, MTV is far removed from the political arena.
Then what's the problem? Singled Out is just for fun. It's entertainment. But why does it turn my stomach?
I could say that it places too much emphasis on physical appearance. I could whine about what's on the inside being more important than perky breasts. But no matter how many movies we see about the ugly person whose soul shines through and becomes beautiful through his or her personality, the truth is that people don't like that stuff.
We want tight clothes and surgically enhanced lips. We think Jenny McCarthy looks nice in feather boas and rubber pants, and we secretly wonder if we have what it takes to get that golden ticket.
It's not the show that's the problem — it's the show's popularity that is disturbing. It's the same lurid fascination with parading the human body that draws us to dance clubs and roach-infested spring break motels. We love Jenny, we love acting like shallow, depraved creatures and we love greasy-haired oaks as long as they have chiseled abs. That's the real problem.
Therefore, to acknowledge my own secret desire to be on the show and to help my fellow young adults, many of whom have the undying dream of appearing on Singled Out. I have some handy tips that will land you a spot amid the grinding, rump-shaking contestants. (MTV will not let you on the show if you appear to be a sensible human being. This takes a little work.)
1. Practice saying, "Well, Chris, I'll go with chest size." This must be convincing — it is imperative that the speaker sound like a sex offender or the line will fall flat. Try putting a little extra emphasis on chest or making an hourglass figure in the air.
2. Go to one of Lawrence's many underage bars on dollar night. About 95 percent of the people there want to be on Singled Out, too. Talk to some of these people. Find out their secrets.
4. Write to MTV and tell them you are ready.
Tell them you think game shows are better than actual music videos. Tell them you like Ace of Base.
3. Learn how to dance like an idiot. If you win, you're expected to dance, and the more you look like a squirrel with a hard drug habit, the better.
Eric Westlander is a Floyds Knobs, Ind., sophomore In Journalism.