6B
Wednesdav. November 6. 1996
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
Milton Berle wins another award; Mr. Television, 88, still making jokes
The Associated Press
NEW YORK — Milton Berle faces a room full of people in tuxedos and gowns. He thanks them for coming and for bestowing him this, his zillion honor.
Then he recalls that he was in this Manhattan banquet room a year ago.
"But not to entertain," he says, teeth bared in his rabbit-like grin. "It was for a seminar. A seminar on premature ejaculation. I left early."
At age 88, Milton Berle just won't quit. In his astringent, blaring voice, he goes on to recount an exchange between two guys older than 90, one of whom is recently remarried. No, the man admits, his bride is hardly a looker, she can't cook and she's none too great in the bedroom.
"So why did you marry her?" his friend asks.
"Because she drives at night!"
With about 20 minutes of such gags and shitk, Berle returned the favor, as the New York chapter of the National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences recently gave its first Lifetime Achievement Award to Mr. Television.
Attendees, each of whom had paid $700, heard Berle lionized by New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, former Golden Girl Bea Arthur, even older-than-Berle funnyman Henny Youngman and who-knew-he-was-funny Hugh Downs, who made special mention of Berle's generosity.
"Earlier this year, I had surgery for double-knee replacements," Downs said. "Milton Berle was my donor."
- Then veteran comic Joey Adams weighed in.
"There's only one Milton Berle," he said. "I found that out by looking in the telephone directory."
But dust from ancient jokes like that had no time to settle. There was too much to unearth from Berle's long career.
He played an infant in silent films and modeled Buster Brown Shoes as a child. He headlined in nightclubs, made a few films and had several radio series.
The real reason for this Emmy gala, the real reason for Berle's unshakeable status as a legend and a pioneer, came down to a pivotal phase of his hamsmanship that began when Harry Truman was president but barely lasted into Dwight Eisenhower's second term.
Now, Mad About You and Something So Right occupy NBC's 8 to 9 p.m. Tuesday slot, just as lots of shows have aired there in seasons past.
But not one has owned that TV hour, or any other, like Berle, who on Sept. 21, 1948, became host of the Texaco Star Theater. And an instant sensation.
Berle brought with him the boisterous, anything-for-a-laugh tradition his vaudeville years had taught him. Then, he delivered it to the public en masse, as if by magic, on their television screens. Maybe vaudeville was dead, but vaudeo was born.
Successful? Early on, about 75 percent of all TVs were tuned to Miltec on Tuesday nights. By comparison, last week's top-rated series, E.R., won about 16 percent.
Granted, the total number of TVs was minuscule in those days. There only were a half-million when Berle went on the air. Today, the number of homes with at least one TV is 97 million.
But if Berle's reach seems picayane by today's standards, his impact helps account for why TV is everywhere now. It was Berle who lit the fuse.
He guaranteed viewers something irresistible to watch and gave everyone who didn't own a TV a powerful incentive to buy one (by 1951, when his show's popularity crested, almost one in every four homes had acquired a set). Meanwhile, his riotous acceptance demonstrated to other entertainers that TV was the promised land after all.
"From Burns to Benny to Gleason, they asked me at first, 'What are you doing this for?' " Berle said. "I said, 'Well, we gotta go with the progress.' I'm proud of having the guts, or whatya call chutzpah, to be the first one to jump into TV and take a shot."
Today's Birthday (Nov. 6)
Between now and late December, decide on your romantic goals and make the necessary commitments. A new trick solves an old problem in January. A breakthrough in February feels like a breakdown at first. Pay attention around sharp tools at work in April. May's a good time to get married or renew vows. You'll be luckier in September if you're working with a team. In October, listen carefully to one who loves you.
Arles (March 21-April 19) Today is a 3
Keep your opinions to yourself and hold your punches, too. Try to figure out what other people are going to do — don't just ask. If a romantic relationship is developing at work, make sure there is not a prior commitment on either side.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) Today is an 8.
Make sure everything's completed.
Completion doesn't mean finished,
by the way. It's an ongoing process,
like doing the dishes. Romance
looks good if you're working
together. Make a commitment you
can build on.
Gemini (May 21-June 21) Today is a 4.
Learn to do something for which you have little or no talent, and your position at work will be strengthened appreciably. Nobody said it was going to be easy. If your true love has an idea that requires spending mutual funds, check it out.
Cancer (June 22-July 22) Today is a 9.
HOROSCOPES
A change could be traumatic for some people, but you should do well. Figure out what you want, and be a deciding factor. Your partner is your source of strength and inspiration. Trouble at home will heal itself soon.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Today is a 4.
There will be a test. You will do fine, if you remember everything you've ever learned. Stay calm, alert and determined to get your way. Hold on to your money unless you can buy something that will appreciate in value, like real estate. And don't worry—you'll do fine.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Today is a 9.
Make a bold move. Keep it private and you'll get farther. If you don't have the perfect mate yet, let a female friend help find one for you. You could make a decision that will change your life for the better tonight.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) Today is a 3.
You may feel like you're caught between a rock and a hard place. Do what you're supposed to and you'll avoid trouble. Be careful with your money, though. Take a practical person's advice and keep your passionate urges under control. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) Today is
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) Today is a 9.
Friendships and group activities are doing well. But be discreet. Don't let everyone in on your private agenda. Accept an opportunity to wrap up an old project completely. Don't hold on to the hurt feelings you've acquired.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Today is a 4.
Do your chores cheerfully and completely. An older person may be in a critical mood. Travel with friends is fun, but there could be some surprises. You may not be able to get exactly what you want, so go for what you need.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Today is a 9.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb.18) Today is a 4.
In business, consider an option that's almost too far away. In life, your best choice is practically underfoot. A friend will confirm your hunches, so consult one. If you want to be really productive, get rid of something that's weighing you down.
Watch and listen. Don't try to sell anything; you'll end up losing money. Your sweetheart may be trying to tell you something you don't want to hear. Open up — it's coming from love. To accept a change, you may have to discard an old way of thinking.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) Today is a 9.
Broaden your focus. An opportunity could be waiting just outside your normal field of vision. If you want romance, look among a group of friends with similar interests. Start by discussing something you're working on. You may find, or recommit to, a partner for life.
NOTE: Horoscopes have no basis in scientific fact and should be read for entertainment only.
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