4
Monday, October 4, 1993
OPINION
UN I V E R S I T Y D A I L Y K A N S A N
VIEWPOINT
THE ISSUE
Kansas Public Service, Lawrence's natural gas supplier, recently introduced two new vehicles that use natural gas into their service fleet, joining similar companies in Missouri and across the country.
THE BACKGROUND
Public utility companies across the nation are looking to replace their current vehicles with natural-gas-burning vehicles. The companies hope that by proving their effectiveness and efficiency on the state level, the federal government will consider replacing its fleet as well.
THE OPINION
Natural gas vehicles help protect the environment
The use of natural gas in utility company vehicles should be applauded as a change for the better, but it should be a springboard to find better solutions.
The Environmental Protection Agency estimates that natural gas trucks produce 90 percent fewer carbon monoxide emissions than regular gasoline-burning vehicles.
The EPA estimates that 40 to 50 percent of air pollution is produced by personal and commercial vehicles. The two new vehicles purchased by KPS will be a start to reducing air pollution in Lawrence.
On 62 gallons of natural gas, the new KPS trucks can travel 250 miles. While the mileage-per-gallon appears much worse, the inexpensive cost of natural gas more than compensates for it.
A bus company in Tulsa using natural gas vehicles reported a savings of more than $56,000 during an 18 month period.
KPS should be applauded for utilizing options to traditional gasoline engines. The use of gasoline engines is an environmental problem, and options must be explored.
Natural gas is an excellent choice because of the environmental and economic savings it will create. Unfortunately, it is non-renewable, like other gasoline products. Further investigation for opportunities to replace gasoline need to continue, particularly options utilizing renewable resources such as solar energy.
The move to natural gas burning vehicles is a step in the right direction and an improvement on an existing problem, but the entire problem needs to be addressed, not just certain portions of it.
DAVID BURGETT FOR THE EDITORIAL BOARD
Women's Week brings valuable information
Panhellenic Association's annual Women's Week in the Kansas Union provides a valuable opportunity to educate women about local services and organizations. Events throughout the week will provide necessary information about women's roles that is not easily available during the rest of the year.
The scheduled events include a lecture titled "The Changing Role of Women in Today's Society" by Bobbi Larson and a series of lectures of interest to women. Health issues, leadership and involvement, and male/female communications are a few of the topics. Also featured is a Women's Fair tomorrow and Wednesday in the lobby of the Union. Panhellenic's plan to provide large amounts of information in one location should be applauded. Every woman should try to make it to the fair. Information about these services will not be so easily obtained after Wednesday.
MICHELLE SMITH FOR THE EDITORIAL BOARD
KANSAN STAFF
KC TRAUER, Editor
JOE HARDER, CHRISTINE LAUE Managing editors
TOM EBLEN General manager, news adviser
TOMEBLEN
Editors
AMY CASEY
Assistant to the editor ... J.R. Clairbome
News ... Stacy Friedman
Editorial ... Terrilyn McCormick
Campus ... Ben Grove
Sports ... Kristi Fogler
Photo ... Klip Chin, Renee Kneeber
Features ... Ezra Wolfe
Graphics ... John Paul Fogel
BILL SKEET, Systems coordinator
AMY CASEY
Business manager
AMY STUMBO
Retail sales manager
JEANNE HINES
Sales and marketing adviser
Business Staff
Campus sales mgr ... Ed Schager
Regional sales mgr ... Jennifer Perrier
National sales mgr ... Jennifer Evanson
Co-op sales mgr ... Blythe Thecht
Production mgrs ... Jennifer Blowey
Kate Burgess
Marketing director ... Shelly McConnell
Creative director ... Brian Fusco
Classified mgr ... Janice Davis
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THERE ARE SOME THINGS IN LIFE YOU CAN COUNT ON...
THERE ARE SOME THINGS YOU CAN'T
Advances could solve soap scum problems
I am pleased to report that, thanks to an important scientific advance, the human race may soon be able, after years of frustration and failure, to lick soap scum.
COLUMNIST
I have here an article from the ASTM Standardization News. ASTM stands for "American Society for Testing and Materials," which is an organization that, as its name implies, has something to do with testing and materials. The article, sent in by alert reader Michael Jawer, states:
"Topping the list of the most dreaded household chores, cleaning the soap scum from our showers and bathtubs has also been one of the most challenging. But thanks to a new guide developed by Subcommittee D-12.16 on Hard Surface Cleaning, part of Committee D-12 on Soaps and Other Detergents, beating soap scum is expected to become easier and less expensive."
This is wonderful news indeed because everybody has soap scum. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Poke your head into the finest bathrooms in the world — in Buckingham Palace, the White House, even the Vatican — and you'll be shot by security guards. So just take my word for it, there's soap scum in there, and they can't get rid of it, because soap scum is the most durable substance known to humanity, a fact that was demonstrated by the U.S. space program. You may recall that when the first space shuttle was built, scientists were concerned about protecting it from the intense heat of re-entry into the atmosphere. So what did they do? THEY COVERED THE SHUTTLE WITH TILES. They knew that tiles are the ideal breeding ground for soap scum (it starts to form right at the tile factory) and that soap scum cannot be harmed by atmospheric re-entry or even leading household cleansers.
cials wherein the Cheerful Housewife, standing in a bathroom the size of Radio City Music Hall, waltzes up to a scum-encrusted tile, sprays it with a cleanser, and then wipes it off to reveal a sparkling shine. But these commercials are not filmed on Earth; they're filmed on the Commercial Planet, where everything is different; where fast-food-chain employees really are happy to serve you; where there is some meaningful difference between Coke and Pepsi; and where "light" beer does not taste like weasel spit.
Oh, sure, you've seen TV commer-
Here on Earth, however, anti-soap-scum products are not effective. I base this statement on a recent nationwide survey of my Research Department, Judi Smith, who said: "The stuff they say gets rid of soap scum never, ever works."
(She also said: "My shower is way too dirty to attribute to soap scum." But I am far too respectful of her privacy to include that in this column. I also will not include the following actual quote from her husband, Tim: "What's soap scum?"
For many years, the only prestigious international research institution working on the soap-scum problem was Heloise, who was always running hints from readers about it. ("Heloise, my soap-scum problem was so bad that my husband said he didn't even want to take a shower! So I made a mixture of three parts vinegar, one
part lemon juice and two parts sulfuric acid, and I put it in his coffee."
But then Subcommittee D-12.16 on Hard Surface Cleaning swung into action. According to the ASTM Standardization News article, researchers "went to consumers homes and scraped off soap scum to analyze it." I bet THAT was a fun job.
RESEARCHER: Hi! I'm with the American Society for Testing and Materials, and I'd like to obtain some of your soap scum.
CONSUMER (calling to spouse):
Marge, get the rifle.
On behalf of consumers everywhere, I salute the researchers of Subcommittee D-12.16 on Hard Surface Cleaning. I hope that their achievement will inspire the efforts of ASTM research groups working on other serious bathroom-cleaning problems. I refer specifically to Subcommittee C-35.98 on Getting Kids To Stop Leaving Towels On The Floor; and — this is the ultimate challenge — Subcommittee P-20.20 on Getting Males To For God's Sake Aim Straight.
But the determined men and women of Subcommittee D-12.16 persevered.
Please understand that we do NOT yet have a cure for soap scum. But we do have, finally, a standardized cleanser-testing method. And the Standardization News article confidently predicts that this standard will produce benefits that "go far beyond the bathroom."
Armed with this information, the researchers developed a method for testing tile cleansers. The cleansers are tested on tiles that have been coated with laboratory scum, then heated in an oven ("Care to join us for lunch, Ted?" "No thanks, Bob! I just put a fresh batch of scum in the event").
Dave Barry is a syndicated columnist with the Miami Herald.
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
Kansan to be applauded for vandalism editorial
I wish to congratulate you on the bold and forright condemnation of the attack on the Lawrence Jewish Community Center by vandals.
I am greatly disturbed at the mild response elsewhere. This is not a sickness confined to an attack on one minority group. When hatred and bigryour rear their ugly heads, as occurred in this case, they can attack any group or subject, any
enlightened newspaper would strike out as a matter of course against such a contemptible act.
Congratulations is probably not the appropriate response. It is more or less expected that a courageous,
innocent person or segment of our society to similar evil treatment.
I hope you will continue to speak out loudly and forcefully against prejudice and bigotry, both on the campus and off.
John Shamberg Overland Park attorney
STAFF COLUMNIST
SCOTT
GILLASPIE
Political correctness now admits white males
Living at the height of the cult of political correctness, it has come to my attention that white men are perhaps the only group of people without a politically correct title. "White male" isn't appropriate; it's "incorrect" to refer to a person by their skin color. European-American is both dull and not specific enough. Therefore, I've come up with the title that, I believe, is the politically correct way to refer to white men—"ismist" (pronounced -m-is-ment).
Sexism: According to the gospel of political correctness, all men are sexist. They believe that women should be pregnant, barefoot and sweating over a hot stove.
Racism: The source of all racism, political correctness tells us, is white people. A white person is deemed as racist if they don't know very many "people of color" or if they don't like such people on the basis of their personality. I don't understand why only white people can be racist.
Chauvinist: Chauvinistic ideals are simple. Men are superior to women.
Rapists. In some cases, women are told to consider all men as potential rapists. Men aren't worthy of their trust and all men have evil thoughts racing through their minds.
Anti-Semitism: Why is it always men? Is it impossible for a woman to have anti-Jewish feelings? I was once accused of being anti-Semitic because I didn't like a person who happened to be Jewish. It wasn't considered that I didn't like the guy as a person, it was automatically assumed that I disliked him, and all other Jewish people, because of his heritage and religion.
The reason is simple and derives from lessons taught to us by political correctness. The term isnist refers to every quality attributed to the white male in our days of political correctness. Isnist is a compound word, accounting for both the isnist and the ist's of white men. Below is a list of qualities that white men are believed to have, making the title isnist appropriate.
Elistist:This probably encompasses all the politically correct traits of white men. Political correctness assumes that all white people want to have their very own country clubs.They purposely hold the better jobs and receive the better pay and they have a master plan to keep the White House white.
Homophobic: All straight white people enjoy beating up homosexuals. Fred Phelps is their secret leader and hero. A heterosexual white male would never stand up to defend the rights of gay people. Never.
All ismists must accept these responsibilities. They must realize that they have to put up with being stereotyped by people who claim to be trying to bring an end to such stereotyping. They must realize that all the faults and problems of society are their fault. Finally, they must make a decision. Either they can assimilate and join the views of political correctness and learn to blame themselves for society's problems, or they can continue to resist taking the blame for these problems until political correctness clears away.
Scott Gillasap is a Topeka junior majoring in English.
University of Mars
Fear of Cancellation due to low ratings has brought the producers, writers, and creative consultants of U of Mars inc. together in an attempt to think up a gimmick to get those all important 'ratings' up. It takes take a special "behind the scenes" look.
Ladies and gentlemen, our comic Strip, U. of Mars, is in danger of being taken off the air.
by Joel Francke
we have a problem. Not only are our ratings plummeting... but sales are dropping on our Billy's Action Figure doll. To put it Frankly, people just aren't interested. We need to jump-start the ratings. How are we gonna do that? You ask...
well, all we need is one good show - a show to get the Folks talkin'. A show with, bare with me, a masturbation scene. Yes, it's the latest trend in television and Hollywood, and I think it could boost us way up the ratings. If will at Gastie put us in front of "Beeke Boiley". The question is... which character will do the scene?
Hey, Don't look at me I'm a Hermaphrodite, that could get Utty.