Cupid the
AVENGER
Top 10 things for single people to do by themselves on Valentine's Day:
7. Sleep, dreaming about lonely, bitter life.
10. Stand outside the homes of your friends who have dates and shine a flashlight in their darkened windows.
9. Make bail.
6. Surf the Internet for other lonely, bitter lovers.
4. Play love records backwards and listen for Guitar music.
8. Sit at home reflecting on lonely, bitter life.
5. Rent movies (Lonely Guy, Say Anything and Earth Girls Are Easy) are a few recommended titles.
3. Attend the "I Hate Valentine's Day Dance" at Hashinger Hall.
Some say love smells like a rose. Others say love stinks. For those people who have rejected romance, Valentine's Day reeks of revenge, remorse and an occasional rending of rubber products.
1. One word: sounds like "Missed your date?"
2. Watch the Kansas men's basketball game against Colorado.
And the No. 1 thing for single people to do by themselves on Valentine's Day:
t's Valentine's Day, and couples everywhere are preparing to give each other red roses, cute Snoopy valentines, heart-shaped boxes of cardy and big, wet kisses — all expressing the universal sentence, "I love you."
But while windows fog in a couple's car, a jilted ex-lover slices their tires. And while a radiant sweetheart reads a love note, a rejected psycho packs a pine bomb.
Little in the world is eternal, especially love, and for those who have heard the words, "I love you," few have escaped. "I hate you."
But worse than the words are the obsessed, stalking, lawbreaking, vengeful ex-lovers that sometimes accompany them.
Just ask Tamara Salaty
Salaty, Lawrence senior, said she was shopping at Weaver's five years ago when she was approached by a man slightly more intense than your average, annoying salesman.
It was her ex-bovfriend.
Obsessed, unwilling to let go of their love and desperate to share his anger, he waded through the racks of clothing to reach her.
"I guess he followed me from my house to the store," she said. "All of the sudden he was standing there yelling at me, in the middle of the store, in front of everyone." Salaty found the nearest exit and tried to flee her former boyfriend, but she made it only as far as the curb.
"I left Weaver's completely humiliated, with everyone starring at me," she said. "And when I came out, two of my tires were slashed. I tried to press charges, but the police couldn't do anything about it because I didn't see him do it."
Displaced anger for misplaced love. People everywhere seem to be telling former lovers, "I hate you," in various, sometimes illegal ways. And they often get away with it.
KU police Sergeant Chris Keary said that the police often dealt with stalking situations but that sometimes it was hard to do much about them.
"Just like any crime, you're going to have to show probable cause," he said. "With things like tire-slashing, it's unfortunate, but there is nothing you can do unless you catch them."
Francis DesSalvo Jr., director of counseling and psychological services at Watldns, said such behavior usually was the product of an unhealthy relationship.
"Usually that behavior indicates they were in a deep relationship where the relationship and their identity become the same thing." DeSalvo said.
Thus for some, it isn't just the relationship being taken away; it's their identity. That's why some obsessive people are unwilling to accept rejection, DeSalvo said.
"Some folks fight real hard and threaten their partner to get them back," he said. "Prevention is the key in those situations. The first thing to do is let them know once the relationship is over, there is
back," he said. "Prevention is the key in those situations. The first thing to do is let them know once the relationship is over, there is nothing that person can do about it. And then be consistent with it." DeSalvo said attempts at softening the break up with phrases like "maybe we can talk about it in a couple weeks" might result in obsessive behavior.
"Try real hard to maintain elements of uniqueness," he said. "Have certain groups of friends or activities and maintain them. People think they have to give up everything for someone.
The best way to avoid an obsessive situation is to maintain your indi lity, he said.
"If you try to do these things and your partner doesn't allow it, I'd take a real hard look at the relationship."
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February 14,1996
The Serious Side:
Places to call for help:
Counseling and Psychological Services 2200 Watkins Memorial Health Center 864-2277
Headquarters — personal crisis counseling 841-2345
KU Police
864-5572
Overly emotional hearts can cause physical harm
A KU student was the victim of a relationship gone wrong last Thursday in Gertrude Sellards Pearson-Corbin Hall
Kansan staff report
The 18-year-old Kansas City, Mo., freshman was in the process of breaking up with her 33-year-old boyfriend when her boyfriend threatened her, pushed her on the bed and pointed a straight-edge
folding razor at her.
He became upset when he discovered that she was romantically involved with a man waiting for her in another room down the hall, KU police reported.
Reportedly, the 33-year-old Kansas City, Mo., man ran down the hall looking for the other man and found him behind a locked door.
After failing to provoke the man to fight, the 33
She begged him to get off her and screamed for someone to call security.
year old went back into his ex-girlfriend's room, pushed her on her bed and pointed the razor at her.
The man then unplugged her phone, grabbed a t-shirt and a silver box and ran out of the room.
KU police are looking for the suspect and have notified the police in surrounding areas.
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