Events Calendar
4
The Bottleneck 737 New Hampshire St.
December:
2: Punkin head/Shag
5: Terry Ebling
6: Boss Hog
7: Mercy Rules/Superdrag/Action Man
8: STICK/Atomic Boy
9: The Urge/Citizen King
10: The Rentals
12: Let's Rodeo/Sufferbus/Squatweilwer
13: Bastard Squad
14: Pamper the Madman/Solefish
16:The Deal(a tribute to the Greatful Dead)
17: The Ian Moore Band/Barry Osbourne
19: Outhouse/Stillwater/Oh Honey
20: Babes in Toyland/Season to Risk
The Granada 1020 Massachusetts St.
December:
9: LA Ramblers
2: Jackopierce/Wakeland
16: Son Venezuela
23: Danger Bob
19: Das EFX/Onyx
31: Paw & friends
Liberty Hall 644 Massachusetts St. December: 12: An Evening with Leo Kottke
URGE OVERKILL HAS BEEN CANCELED FOR DEC.13
Only 25 days left of 1995... Have you thought about the new year? Resolve to get more exercise? Be nicer to your family and roommates? Study more? Read the paper more often?
I WISH...
—the cast of 90210 would take some acting lessons
—Ben Hoch would propose to me
—Hillary Clinton would run for president
—the foreign language requirement would be abolished
—the phone number of a really nice girl would be under my tree
—Kansas will win the Final Four
—world peace will at least be contemplated
—I’d win the lottery
—I find a job
—Heather Locklear would be killed off Melrose Place
—I will be enlightened as to my purpose on Earth
—Sam Adams will offer Cranberry lambic all year
—Conan O’Brien will take first in the ratings
—The Campanile bells will ring this year
—Bob Dole gets out of politics
—James Brown would make a big come back
—Sting would leave his wife for me
—Scot Pollard would dye his goatee blond
Have you been naughty or nice the past year? Wait a minute!
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF...
Something fun actually happened in Lawrence over break.
I won the lottery and wouldn't be so concerned about New Year's resolutions.
The government realized I was the rightful owner of the winning $29 million lottery ticket
I got credit for every hour I spent in chemistry class as well as lab.
YEAH, BUT...
Rachel and Ross probably won't get together. Another doomed relationship.
I'm going to be in class when Ed McMahon knocks on my door with a giant $1 million check.
I'll forget the name of the first girl I meet in 1996 within five minutes.
RESOLUTIONS
I'm going to start studying for chemistry tests before the day of the test.
I'm going to study, yeah, right, I might as well be resolving to lose weight. On second thought, I also resolve to lose weight.
I'm going to get out of bed before noon and spend an hour in the workout room when I'm skipping class.
I'm going to decide what I'm going to do with the rest of my life!
Have you been naughty or nice the past year? Wait a minute, we don't want to know.
-Hill • December 6, 1995
Hawk Holidays 19