TOUCHY TOUCHY Iowa State U.
QUICKIES
Ever want to jump up and touch the goal posts before a football game? Just reach on up there and... oops. U. of Iowa freshman band member Robert Rubocki got on a friend's shoulders to touch Iowa State's goal post before the Iowa-Iowa State game, but as he was hanging from it, the post got a little tipsy. In fact, it was falling down. Both sides say they'll stick to the tradition of the players tearing down the posts after a victory. But nice try, Robert.
ILLUSTRATIONS BY WILLOW COOK, U. OF CALIFORNIA, DAVIS
Students aren't just numbers at MSU — they're UPCs. Not only are ID cards scanned when students go to the cafeteria, now some economics professors are experimenting with swiping the cards to check attendance. The system was tested on two days, and all 500 students checked in on time. Either that or they all ordered the ham on rye. One of those.
ALL PRESENT?
BEEP!
Michigan State U.
SMOKE THE VOTE U. of Massachusetts, Amherst
The pro-hemp and -marijuana folks always get a bad rap. Who says they're not motivated enough to mind their soapbox and work toward legalization? The students at U. Mass have gotten approval to include a check-off box on the university's tuition bills. It will allow them — or their parents —
GOD ON THEIR SIDE U. of Nebraska
Herbie Husker, the longtime mascot of Nebraska's Cornhuskers, was recently retired by the administration in favor of a new, yet-to-be-named mascot. As you can imagine, this did not go over too well with many Nebraska traditionalists. Of all the forces rallying to save Herbie, none are as tough and tenacious as, well, as the Contemplative Sisters of the Good Shepherd. Six nuns at the north Omaha convent have taken to sewing Herbie Husker windsocks in support of the fallen mascot. Although the convent has been sewing the windsocks for the past six years, orders have quadrupled this season. Why are the sisters so supportive of Herbie? "He's civilized," says Sister Grace Irene Marshall. "He's the only one we don't have to go behind and pick up after."
to contribute $5 to Campus Cannabis Coalition. Says the U. Mass chancellor, who disagrees with the decriminalization of marijuana: "It should not be high on the university's agenda." Oh well, wanna hit?
NOSE GETTING LONGER?
U. of Virginia
A study at UVA shows that when college students call home, there's a 50-50 chance that they'll
LIP SERVICE Northern Illinois U.
Talk about slow news days. U.Magazine got a big shipment of Blistex products (with yummy lip-shaped chocolates, too — thanks, Blistex!), but you don't see us wasting valuable space pushing Blistex. (Blistex, Blistex, rah rah rah!) The weekend edition of the Northern Star, however, devoted a whole page to the bodacious balms. OK, they were a little tongue in cheek themselves. They scolded the company for not considering its male consumers and ended by asking for reader suggestions on lip gloss uses Next week: a scorching exposé on new Tylenol Cold and Flu.
lie to Mom. The study was based on the diaries of 77 UVA students in which they recorded every conversation they had and what lies
they told for a week. The test group reported a total of 1,000 lies — about two a day for each student. The most common lie to Mom is that books cost more than they do — so she'll send more money. Another popular lie is that you're staying in for the night to study. Yeah, right, Pinocchio.
CREDIT CONDOM Clemson U.
In an effort to get people to practice safe spending, those financial wizards at the National Center for Financial Education have gone and slipped, er, broken, into the condom craze. The Center manufactured prophylactics for your plastic — the small slips of paper form a pocket for credit cards. Clemson distributed thousands to its students.
SOY SAUCE U. of Missouri, Columbia This school takes soybeans
Now, before they charge on in there, students have to take the time to remove the credit card from the condom. Clemson hopes they'll make students think twice before they spend. If only they'd make those for pints of Ben and Jerry's.
seriously. "The future number of students that will benefit from taking a look at the technological aspects of soybeans will continue to grow —this is where the inter-
SEIZE YOUR SALAD San Diego State U.
One of the most sought after felons this country has seen in years was brought to justice. A San Diego State student was cited after allegedly stealing a $3.76 salad from a university eatery. The alleged criminal hid the
salad between her body and a spiral notebook. As a diversion, she became embroiled in a conversation on her cellular phone and walked coolly past the cashier. An SDSU theft-prevention agent saw the transgressor in the act, followed a crouton trail and caught the culprit redhanded (Catalina dressing). After asking her to end her phone conversation , the officer cited the outlaw for petty theft.
est is," assures Steve Knorr, assistant director for the development of the agriculture college. MU is conducting a national search for the lucky recipient of an endowed professorship in soybean bio-technology. Don't laugh. The endowment is $1,100,000. That's a lotta beans. Interested yet?
THANK HEAVEN FOR SCIENCE Harvard U.
Residents of fraternity and sorority houses are far more likely to go on drinking binges than their classmates, according to a study by researchers at Harvard U. Duh.
UPS AND DOWNS U. of Idaho
A fraternity and a sorority at Idaho have really gone through some highs and lows recently. The Farmhouse fraternity and the women of Delta Delta Delta teeter-tottered for 48 hours to raise and lower and raise and lower and raise money for children's cancer research. The event drew to a close when a Tridelt said, "Teeter totter, totter teeter... Let's call the whole thing off." The two houses raked in $423 for the effort, and the members, undaunted, are now going to sit on ice packs for 48 straight hours. We doubt they'll raise much money for this feat.
BEEROMETER Rochester Institute of Technology
After years and years of extensive research, the work of three RIT engineering students came to a head. The trio has invented a keg tap that will tell even the drunkest reader how much brew is left in the barrel. The hallmark of the new tap design is that it doesn't increase the foam quotient of the out-coming beverage. "There is just no other way to tell how much beer is left," explains co-creator Dave Kneale. Finally, an answer to one of this country's greatest riddles. These modern-day Edisons are currently working on a project to determine how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop.
6 U. Magazine - December 1995